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The Dolls of Love

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Vysan, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    This is a story I read…….It had a great messages… How anger/frustration makes our lives miserable and we have to pay for it all our life time… This story talks of how even a little gesture in love has some hidden meaning behind it… How surprises comes in small packets and how we neglect or forget to look into those things...

    I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
    Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
    “Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
    “I can’t”
    “Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
    “No… I am going to meet a friend…”
    He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
    He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
    Then one day…
    Me: Um, Jin, I …
    Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
    Me: I love you.
    Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
    That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
    Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
    Me: Jin…
    Jin: Here…take this…
    Again, he handed me a little doll.
    Me: What’s this?
    Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
    Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
    Jin: Today? Huh?
    I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
    Jin: You have something to say?
    Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
    Jin: What?!
    Me: Tell me
    I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
    “I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
    That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
    After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
    After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
    He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
    Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
    I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
    Me: I don’t need it.
    Jin: What….why…
    I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
    Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
    I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
    “I’m sorry”
    He apologized in a tiny voice.
    He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
    Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
    But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
    Honk~ Honk~
    With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
    “Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…
    But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
    “Jin, move!”
    HONK~!!
    “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
    That’s how he went away from me.
    That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
    After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
    Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
    “One…two… three…”
    That was how… I started to count the dolls…
    “Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…”
    It all ended with 485 dolls.
    I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
    “I love you~, I love you~”
    I dropped the dolls,shocked.
    “I….lo..ve…you??”
    I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
    “I love you~ I love you~”
    It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
    “I love you~”
    “I love you~”
    “I love you~”
    Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much…
    “Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
    The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
    For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life..

    After reading the story, I couldn’t control my emotions, I cried for 2 minutes… I normally don’t see tragic movies because of sad endings… But this one left me with a sad feeling… Unexpressed love and words uttered in a spit of rage, create havoc in life… and we have to live with it for ever….
    The first thing I did after reading this is calling my wife and saying, I LOVE YOU SHAN!!!!...
     
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  2. vidyasundar

    vidyasundar Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Vyshan,

    heartwhelming story, thanks for sharing it.

    here are some lines from a lyric of a wife to her husband or vice versa

    You say that you'll love me forever but
    but what about today?
    As the dusks become the dawns and the years pass on will you
    love me (love me) the same way (the same way)?
    If so let us rejoice and bathe in this constant pleasure
    If not spare my heart today and I shall recover before, forever
    And if my doubts and questions upset you
    (forgive my fragile heart) forgive my fragile heart
    I just wanted to know if you'd love me forever before today,
    would start (would you love me.. would you love me..)

    [sung]
    What of a love unspoken?
    What of a love unspoken?
     
  3. latamurali

    latamurali Gold IL'ite

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    Vysan Sir

    :-:)-:)-:)-:)-:)cry::cry::cry:

    what a touching story, even i feel like crying,

    And really touched by ur wordings, ur 10000000000000% true

    "Unexpressed love and words uttered in a spit of rage, create havoc in life… and we have to live with it for ever….

    TO LUV AND TO BE LOVED - is the wonderful feeling in the world

    Still there are so many people around us , fail to express their feelings/words at appropriate time and realizing later:bang:bang:bang

    thank u very much for sharing

    latamurali
     
  4. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Vysan
    Wow this is such a touching story just wonderful for a true love. This is a true love. I agree with Latamurali there are still so many people around who hesitate to express they love to they beloved and still there are other people who go on telling "I love you" and the other person realises it, only when they pass away.
    Unexpressed love and words uttered in a spit of rage, create havoc in life… and we have to live with it for ever…
    This sentence is so perfectly said......

    It is so true surprises come in small packets only thing is we should be able to realise it.
    Thanx for sharing such beautiful story:clap
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi veda,

    Now everybody knows why our telephones bill are the highest both in chennai and muscat.....:tongue

    I read somewhere that the human race is the only one that builds walls of cement.to keep protected from hurt.....When we love and allow our emotions to not only be known or expressed we risk one of three things; rejection, loss, and having to take back the love....

    Money, power, prestige, and fame can never buy the same feeling that your heart gets the first time your love tells you "I LOVE YOU"

    It is a gift to love someone and to tell them often, Not just the person to whom you tell, but to yourself also. When you love someone and express it well and express it often, you are giving more of a gift to yourself than anyone. How many of us really realise it and come out the self raised barriers......before it is late???

    Most of all when I say I love you, It is unconditional, And it never ends!
     
  6. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear VS,

    Thanks... It is a very nice poem....

    Thanks onceagain...
     
  7. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Lata,

    Yes, to be loved and to love a person.... It is a great feeling....

    Even in todays world, people couldnt express their love very clearly and in the end they get seperated... I earlier had a friend, who was in love with a girl for 8 years plus... after such a long wait they got married....

    thanks for peeping in...
     
  8. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Arunarc,

    Thanks for peeping in....

    I have a friend who cant tell his wife, he loves her... They are married and have 2 kids also... But he cant tell his wife he loves her... As far as he is concerned... yes, got married... there ends the story....

    So what can we say for that.....

    In my opininon expressing love, the more you keep telling, the more the bondage increases... In Cheeniyas terms, the bond between the couples is directly proportional to the number of times you tell each other that I love you...
     
  9. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shan,

    :confused::confused:... Where from the telephone bills came in between....

    Poor me...:bang Anyway now you got it about this month telephone bill status.... hahahaha...:thumbsup.

    To love somebody is something great... It makes you feel elated and keeps flying... It was double the thrill to know that you are being loved by somebody... I cant still forget the feeling when we came in auto from the Pondy Bustand.... I was elated and happy is too small a word to describe those feelings...

    Expression of love, is an art... It needs lot of courage as it is associated with the three risks which you have mentioned...
     
  10. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear veda,
    wonderful story and hope it was reality somewhere for someone so that u get a feeling yes at least someone gets this true love always but i don't realize why this tragedy every where, where there is true love in existence...sunkan
     

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