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The darkest time of night is just befor dawn

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by desposhwetha, Dec 12, 2013.

  1. desposhwetha

    desposhwetha Gold IL'ite

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    End of 2013 ! If you are gonna point at the remaining 19 days well, I am already awaiting new year . Every year december is the time of recollection and resolutions. I dont know from where or when did we start believing that a new year is going to give us luck and happiness when it is just a mere change of numbers. But then, personally I believe in new years coming with new surprises and solutions.


    This year has been the MOST toughest in my life so far, having to battle out a marriage that was long dead and that was abusing me and family mentally, physically and emotionally. This year made me run from police stations to hospitals to goons to lawyers and to every possible place I would have never dreamt of. This year made me cry throughout . This year was unuually long for me and had created a fear in me which I have never felt before. A fear about future. A fear about my life all alone. About my career. About the society. About everything around me. This year made me lock up myself for most part of the year in a dark room and crib for most part of the day and spend sleepless nights looking at the dark sky and hoping for a ray of light.

    But this year also made me strong enough to face it. I didnt want to end my life . I didnt want to hurt myself physically . This year made me analyse a lot. Made me introspect a lot about me as a person. This year made me work in a more mature way about the way my thoughts progressed with regards to my life. This year made me understand that at the end of the day Its only me who can help myself. This year made me realize that the world doesnt analyse people on any other basis but only by means of the person they are. This year made me work towars my self improvement in all areanas This year made me accept that happiness can be obtained only by self acceptance and satisfaction.This year made me understand that Life doesnt end when we want it to and its better to come out and walk rather than worry about how the journey would be.

    This year made me work toward the process of strenghthening my weaknesses. And work towards betterment of me . Made me plan practical and workable goals and work towards it. This year made me realize how to be emotionally stable. How to walk over the past and accept that it is over . Made me differentiate between past , present and future and shook me hard to swallow that THINKING OF THE PAST IN THE PRESENT MIGHT JUST KILL MY FUTURE.

    I have started doing little things which would make my ever pounding heart get some peace and happiness.

    2014 is up and I believe and hope it is gonna come with lots of surprises as well. Now pulling up my socks , I feel I am in a better position to face it .

    IL has become so dear to me these days. The story I write is getting great response and I am really glad about it. Here is wishing all ILites a very happy and a prosperous NEW YEAR 2014 !! May God give lots of strength and courage to all of us
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  2. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear shwetha,

    Very inspiring post. One thing I can definitely tell u is that when u will look back, u will b surprised as how tough u have become n now no problems can shake u. These tough times makes us a very strong person.
    I too wish u and all members of IL, a very happy n rocking 2014. Stay blessed :)
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  3. evelinrony

    evelinrony Gold IL'ite

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    Hi dear Shwetha,

    Felt hurt to read the difficulties u had to face throughout the year...but feeling proud to see that u have not lost ur hope and by the end of the year you have become more bold to face life...I'm really inspired to read that it is only u who could help yourself....Every woman needs to keep that Inspiring thought in thier mind......I hope u really come out of your troubles and face New Year boldly....Wish u a Very Blessed New Year
     
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  4. peeks

    peeks Gold IL'ite

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    Glad you have come out stronger hope the the next year is a wonderful one for you, and many better ones ahead. They do say you need to feel the lows to enjoy the highs and you will.
     
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  5. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hugs to you shweta because i don't like calling you desposhweta. I can't tell you how proud i feel for you. Thanks for sharing such valuable information with us dear . I really feel so happy for you that i am sure you are going to experience the best days and happiness from hereon.

    PS: I remember this quote from the "Alchemist" ;)

    Hugs and love,
    Maddy
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  6. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    You are absolutely right shama , these experiences are definitely making us stronger because they take us away from our comfort zone and help us face our worst fears. This really helps conquer those worst fears .
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2013
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  7. swathiiyer

    swathiiyer Silver IL'ite

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    A big :hatsoff for the positive spirit... I wish you all the very best and wishing you a loads of happiness, peace and a prosperous new year 2014... May all your wishes come true..
     
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  8. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    u r right my sweetie. :kiss
     
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  9. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    When-the-going-gets-tough,-the-tough-get-going..jpg

    Good Luck with your future.
     
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  10. desilady13

    desilady13 Silver IL'ite

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    Swetha, I wish you all the very best 2014 and really really wish each one of is who is struggling and going through such tough times find themselves in the process, and more importantly never lose hope. Just as you said, we cannot really end our life just when we want to, or simply run away to a far far land either..we just have to face it, no way out!

    And I know one thing about myself - without my kid, who is everything fir me I ever have in life, I would have literally lost myself, unable to figure out what to do next. Maybe god plans things out for us knowing our weaknesses and strengths and gives them what they need? At the right time?

    2013 has def been the 'worst' year ever for me, to an extent where no. 13 even scares me now, when I have never believed in numbers or numerology. Dealt with everything bad I never imagined, and ended up alone in a new city with no one to talk to. Lost job, left a thriving job for husband and kid, and now got back again for myself,for survival!

    I really dont know what 2014 will have for me, since now the divorce process has to still begin, so I need lots of prayers to still get along this next phase.

    Swetha, again I guess I just have to say, you are now out of all that mess, just hope for a new happy beginning, and let's all take each day as it comes!
     
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