The common debate - please help me ladies

Sahmaara · Nov 18, 2010

Hi ladies,

I think this would be a very common argument/fight in many households. But i need genuine help here ladies, as I dont know what to do here.
I have a baby girl who is 11 months old. I and husband did intercaste-marriage; he is a strict non-vegetarian and I am a vegetarian. I am not opposed to eggs (in cake, omlets, pancakes etc). I too eat eggs almost every other week at home. But, my husband hates veggies and looks for every opportunity to eat non-vegetarian food. And I am okay with that, but he wants to make our daughter eat non-vegetarian food as well. Not because I have never had meat ever in my life, but I keep reading articles about how people are moving towards vegetarianism (no offence to the meat-eaters here), because it is healthier (dont want to start a debate here on this), atleast thats wot the various survey results are saying...

anyways, my husband eats any animal that crawls, or has feet, and he relishes it. I do not want my daughter to eat all that. Red meat is anyways not good for health. When I tried to explain this to my husband, he stopped me saying sternly that our daughter WILL eat meat, no matter what. His argument is: because we are in US and in such a society, he does not want our daughter to be mocked upon or laughed at for not eating meat. His other point of argument is he needs company for eating meat. Huhhh!!! I do not understand why do men keep looking for company for all the bad things they do (no offence to non-vegetarians again..plz read further for what I mean) such as smoking, drinking, etc. You do what you have to do and leave the world alone! Thats my strategy in life. Live and let live. But we are not here to discuss my thinking about life...

I did not quite digest his arguments, but I still respected them, and agreed to give her chicken and fish (I know fish i very good for health, and chicken is meat too, but white meat). But, he stopped me in anger and asked me to never ever start this topic again, because it is final (finalized by only him) that our daughter is going to eat ALL meat--anything and everything on this earth!!!!!

I am more concerned because my baby is a girl, and of late I have heard numerous cases of breast cancer and ovarian and cervical cancers (couple in my family, which were fatal), and I am dead-scared about her health. Also, I have heard being a vegetarian eases menopause (which again is a root cause of various other diseases). Eating meat affects cardio-vascular health as well. My biggest fear is that once she develops a taste for non-veg food, she is never going to stay away from it. So, from the beginning itself, I want to develop good eating habits in her. See this article (one of the many articles I have read) I read today in TOI:

Vegetarianism rocks! - The Times of India

Please help me how can I explain to my husband (who is extremely hot-tempered and very touchy about this non-veg thing), my thought-process, because he is not even ready to even start a healthy discussion on this topic. Please please please help me here ladies....

Thanks in advance! God bless you all...

rose8282 · Nov 18, 2010

edited..........

Rakhii · Nov 19, 2010

red meat to a 11 month old? emmm, is your doctor letting this happen? I mean, red meat is usually difficult to digest, so she should not be having it in the first place:coffee.

Sahmaara · Nov 19, 2010

DD's daycare provides meal options such as beef burger, ham sandwich and what not..they have vegetarian substitutes for each, but my husband wont allow
I am giving her homecooked food (breakfast n lunch) but since she is almost a toddler, our daycare center gave us an option of her eating there, and because they serve non-veg too, my husband agreed

Priya16 · Nov 19, 2010

I do agree with you.You both are parents and both should decide the things and not the one person.
For any child,the mother and her feeling are very important.Educate your child on what to choose and what not to choose.Once she goes to public school where she will pick up her lunch.Once you tell her what's good for health and what's not especially girl give value to mothers feeling and she will choose.
So educate her whenever you get chance.

beef burger, ham sandwich and what not..they have vegetarian substitutes for each, but my husband wont allow
Click to expand...

This is kind of ridiculous.Ham is ok and most of the kids eat.If you don't like beef then you can just tell the teacher that don't give her the beef.This is truly controlling without finiding the middle ground.

Rakhii · Nov 19, 2010

Most teachers would understand if you explain them the situation. Do you think it would be helpful to talk to teachers and not give her beef?

rose8282 · Nov 19, 2010

beef,pork for toddler is really not good...actually not even for adults.Specially because we pray to cows and consider it as god:hide:

TimidlyConfidnt · Nov 19, 2010

Hi,

I am a non vegetarian and so is my hubby. You know giving meat to babies it not bad actually. Yes veges are very very important... make sure you continue to give it wven if your daughter prefers non veg. Chicken is good too. Its protein. Fishes have omega-3.... excellent for brain development. so non veg definitely has benefits. You give ur veges and give chicken and fish for hubby. Rest your daughter can decide if she wants to eat or not when she grows up. Thats what we have decided.... she can have hotdogs beef etc if she wants to when she grows up. I am not making it at home.

Beef is can be given to babies from 8 months onward. If you are not comfy giving it tell your hubby so...if he wishes he can feed her that. I dont think its right impose your preference on your baby and ignore ur hubby's - he is just as much a parent as you are. Jst dont deal with it... tell him to do it.

TC

luc · Nov 19, 2010

Ok.. when ur daughter grows up she will be exposed to meat n all and what if she eats it then will u still say NO to her and do u really think she will listen to u if she really wants to eat it....

As long as ur hubby doesn't force u to eat it then i think its ok if he wants his daughter to eat it.. Remember he is one of the parent too like u have all the rights to say no he has all the rights to say yes to meat too... U can try one more time to explain it to him.. tell him that u don't want her to eat it frequently just once in a while..

Here one of u guys need to compromise.. I personally think that its ok for ur daughter to eat meat.. U can see there r people becoming veg after eating meat for yrs.. May be ur daughter can decide that for herself when she grows up.. She will know whats healthy for her and whats not.. Then your husband can not force the daughter to eat something she doesn't want to.. So for now let it go ...

luc · Nov 19, 2010

I am more concerned because my baby is a girl, and of late I have heard numerous cases of breast cancer and ovarian and cervical cancers (couple in my family, which were fatal), and I am dead-scared about her health.

Eating meat doesn't cause this...