The Chase - Inspired By Dpwnftdwtastd

This snippet is inspired by Ojaantrik's snippet. Since my response to his OP is a long story in itself, I decided, with his kind permission, to post this as a separate snippet on its own. Now before you ask me what DPWNFTDWTASTD means, let me tell it refers to OJ da's original piece - one of those 'delightful pieces which never fail to do what they are supposed to do'.

This DP took me back to the kitchen in the hostel in London. I was sitting under a cupboard in the corner. For some reason, I always love sitting in corners. There is something extremely comforting about them. Secure, if you know what I mean. After a while, I forgot about the existence of said cupboard and rose to allow a rather violent greeting between cupboard and head. But natural.....there is no getting over the laws of physics - no two objects can occupy the same position in space and time. Next day when I turned my head, I saw a flash of light. I could not miss it. I mean, lights are supposed to enlighten and should, therefore, be welcome, but not in the absence of tube lights/light bulbs/thunderstorms. Oh, might just be one of those strange things that seem to be magnetically attracted towards to me! So I got on with life. A few hours later when working in the lab, I had another moment of enlightenment. Not of the 'Buddha' nor of the 'Newton in the bathtub' kind. It was a repeat of the episode from the previous day. Being located strategically in a hospital, I went and asked my boss to recommend an ophthalmologist. He called one on the ground floor and gave me my marching orders. I went downstairs and saw him. Of course, there was no long queue to do so. He took one look and said I need to have my retina soldered. I looked around helplessly and asked whether I could come tomorrow. (I have always had these happy episodes with doctors where I try to escape their clutches and end up with them chasing me around buildings or the examination tables - more about that in the next post). "No" he responded gently (no, he did not have any canine dispositions of barking ) but FIRMLY. Apparently, if he allowed a hole to go, I would go back with the retina slowly divorcing my eyeball. So there I was. After jumping in my seat a few times each time a laser beam was fired, I left and was sent back to the hostel to recoup.

Two more such episodes with eye and laser followed in Pune after my return for another issue where my body decided to save excess fluid in my retinal blood vessels which popped with joy at having such wealth of the precious fluid. I remember on the first occasion when they injected some dye up my vein. I had a distinct feeling I was going to die and blacking out and my mom demanding to summon our GP to the site of the crime and the ophthalmologists assuring her that they would revive me to ensure she received her just desserts - a daughter who was a terror and was brought back from the dead! The third time I was in Bangalore and remember going to the doc with one eye slightly blurred and me riding my scooter with the other eye. That one I survived. I had had plenty of experience in that department.

..... contd.

 

Talking of ‘great escapes’ from doctors and conniving parents (with doctors of course) brings to mind an episode from the dark, dingy corners of my mind.

Tonsillitis decided to visit me and give me some quality time. Naturally my parents were not particularly chuffed by the company I kept . They decided to have the counsellor (read doctor) come in and try to control this wild behavior of friend tonsillitis . He tried to cajole her with some sweets - antibiotics - to leave, but my friend, being of a rather persistent nature, thought staying longer might get her some more of her favourite sweets.

So more stringent measures were needed - they thought if they tried to needle me and insert some pink fluid called penicillin into my blood stream, it might just make my friend a bit guilty and she would ultimately leave.

Did she feel guilty no? No. Mlle. Tonsillitis just stayed stoically (stiff upper lip and all that) by my side. I am really impressed by her loyalty, but that does not necessarily mean that I was very approving of the methods being used at my expense to get rid of my dear friend.

Every day I would have to be cajoled into visiting Mr. Counsellor with whistle lollipops (I do not know whether these still exist. These were lollipops with a slit near the tip through which one could blow and produce a whistling effect - talk of the innovativeness needed on the part of adults to keep their offspring happy!). Despite my tender age, I was not above demanding a bribe to deliver the goods - even if it be my own backside to have a needle inserted into it (they seemed to think, I was some fancy variety of pincushion ). Oh these highly corruptible babes and infants .

Despite everything, tonsillitis would make her sneaky entry to visit me from time to time. It was on one such occasion that Mr. Counsellor came to visit us with his pink liquid. I went into mode (quite literally below the bed). Some time was spent looking for me (eventually my elder sib - odious creature - called out "mili", though that was not my name - even 7 years after bullying me, she had still not managed to get my name right, the dimwitted one). I managed to slip her clutches and ran behind the house, up a flight of stairs and hid in the corridor of the upper floor. The said sib, however, not being a variety of person who gives up so easily followed me and again shouted "mili" and started chasing me down the corridor and stairs. After that, the events that followed were what Laurel and Hardy and Charlie Chaplin films were made of. There was poor me running around the building, with odious sib chasing me, momma dearest bringing up the rear followed by Mr. Counsellor with his much loved pink fluid threateningly held in hand. Needless to say, that the results of three adults following a hapless little person were all too predictable.

But poor me. My friend's misbehaviour was something I had to pay a heavy price for. Soon an exorcist was required to remove my friend's presence. I was taken to Mr. Surgeon, to have her exorcised (the first of my encounters with that species of exorcists). That was not something I could endure so stoically . The morning of the exorcism, Mr. surgeon did a good imitation of Mr. Counsellor, chasing me round the bed to stick some colourful fluids into me with a needle. After that came a period of waiting, during which my mom and dad kept themselves amused with some mundane conversation. I am not a great fan of irrational procedures such as exorcism. I requested them, quite reasonably I think, to go home. They thought, I was a brainless, witless chick and just humoured me saying "ok" but showed no signs of moving their backsides. So showing my early streaks of independence, I took my own decision and walked out of the hospital and onto the street. It must have been about 3 minutes later that my absence was noticed and said parents followed me, poor hapless me who was recaptured and delivered to Mr. Exorcist aka surgeon. The last I remember of that person is he making me smell some sweet smelling stuff which convinced me that falling asleep and a trip to la la land was a much better fate.

By the next day, I had given up my resistance movement. Mr. Counsellor visited us at home with his inevitable pink fluid. After he had had his early morning quota of fun, I boldly confirmed with my mother that we would not have to see his face ever again for all of eternity (as she had promised me before the exorcism) - loud and clear for him to hear, right in front of him. In spite of all they had put me through, I feel sorry for my poor mom's mortification and for Mr. Counsellor's squirming (bless his soul, he has proceeded to the next dimension with his favourite pink fluid and needles). This time they tried to bribe me with ice creams, but to no avail. The exorcism had rid me of any irrational desires I might have had of eating such vile stuff!

Human memory is frail ….. or was it the desire for revenge? Oh well, after such exciting times with docs and being chased by them, I could not resist the temptation of chasing one around the fire - not once but 7 times. Too late now to realize why mom warned me to play with or around fire .

 

Past life karma, Shanvy!!!

Thanks so much dear. I was wondering if people found it too long or too boring. Delighted to read your FB.

 

Thanks a lot OJ-da.

 

So that confirms that this could be a cause of the retinal hole. When asked how that happened, I could only vaguely guess at its cause - I could not think of any other rational reason.