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The Athimber, Jijaji, Relationship With Saali, Machini

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sunkan, May 20, 2007.

  1. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    The athimber relationship:
    Ever heard of this ofcourse u all must had, may be the name is different, jijaji, or jiju or athim and so on, but I have found this relationship is greater than anything, as they are the eldest, like only a elder sis’s husband gets this title, a lot of burden on his shoulder if he has many saalis.
    The hindi version they used to say a man with saali is like having aadi gharwali, that is she will take care of him, in all ways except the bed. Like wise when my husband arrived home both my sisters were mad at him, they used to take so much care, he felt himself top of the world, if sathya used to wash his clothes and iron and not allowing him to do any work, all the things were taken care of. How about a small cup of coffee, and athimber is glad that his saali remembers.

    The food section oh! Don’t mention the athimber’s favourite is done at home, and my husband loved applam which used to be ready, and many, all fried stuff would be made as tiffin. Even my mother fell for his charm the first son-in-law has a special place in the house, like the first child. So semiya upma with murungakka sambhar and he would praise her to heaven. He was a foodie all the way, every day his fresh purchase of vegetable is an example to that, and planning the lunch and dinner was all his section, so much in detail that only keerai molagootal will go with vazhakkai kari or vendakkai pachadi and so on. So it was very easy to please him, as he has already chartered out what he wants…

    Even our honey moon trip to thirupathi if u may say so not without the saalis, funny my honey moon was more of deiviga shetram from trichur to chowthanikarai and guruvayur, accompanied by my mom. Being the first borns has its own trivials to be considered.

    Going to commercial street,[famous shopping street in Bangalore] even before I could go, the athimber would had invited his saali’s after all he cant go out without them, asking for this and that eatables and so many, he loved crowd always, even my father krishnamoorthy fell for this, would love to be treated for a nice full course meal from soup onwards his favourite..

    The minute athimber arrives from kolkata my second one sathya will be ready there. While he opens the package she will take the first pick of saree that he has got, only then I get to take, this is the power she has on us, very demanding, what athim nothing for me? Is the opening statement, and he would compile to all her wishes…

    Even when my great man made a trip directly from sabarimala to his mom in law’s place the saali’s took such good care. I started envying him, my what charisma he could spread, even till date my sisters both cannot forget him, for every thing they will remind me, athim used to love this illey

    It was my husband who took up all efforts to conducts sathya's wedding as my father was suffering from cancer and was unable to do anything, and doctor's also advised that he had not much time in this world. So it was athimber here again and sathya's in law's were also all praise for his efforts..


    My husband was so close to these sisters, when he corrects the sari on from behind lower and asking them to use perfumes and spraying it for them, he used to ride their husband’s with jealousy… regards sunkan


    i know many of u will hold such memories, would be glad if u can share here..
    By the way my son in law giri has a pang that chitra does not call him athimber but jiju..
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2007
  2. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sundari,

    I was so busy with replying for SHE and writing the future chapters that I completely missed out on this.

    Your write up brings the love you have for your husband and your sister. Unless you were able to love your sisters so well and have that kind of confidence in them, you probably would not have let them move so close with your husband.


    Agreed Athimber-saali is a good relationship. I have not been lucky enough to have a sister-in-law. My wife is the only girl in her family.

    But my wife used to say "It's better that you don't have a sil."

    Well, I can take it as a favourable comment on my looks or an adverse comment on my character.

    But I can't help voicing my fears. These relationships are walking on tight rope at a height of some 500 feet above the ground. When you walk the whole distance without incident, the crowd below will applaud. But when a mishap occurs, the crowd will have a field day.

    My write-up An Affair and Its Aftermath is based on this relationship, but of course that was a fallen relationship.

    A very touching write-up Sundari.
    regards,
    sridhar
     
  3. sathya

    sathya Gold IL'ite

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    hello akka

    thats opening a pandora's box
    and am not falling for it.....!

    athim will be athim...
    only one of a kind
    to take all of us
    on his `honeymoon'
    not thanimoon'
    with many moons?

    vizhiyoram k.neer thuli
    sollaamal vizhuguthe
    varthaigal velivaraamal
    nenjai adaikkuthe..
    ninaivaai mattum irukkattum...


    sathya
     
  4. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    hey sathya,
    i envy da, in my memories this relation is so related to u all, that mine falls short here, untill he himself were to come down and tell..still u bring the tear in my eye too. love aks
     
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    ah sridhar,
    all relation has two sides of it, but i must tell u, u have missed out on this, it is a very very loving one, and as the wife stands looking at her siblings falling one on other for attention and the man enjoying it, nothing can be said, like how u said, i never had to pray to god as i knew my man will not misbehave with my sisters...and vice versa.. any relation kept healthy will remain so, after all what are we human if not for these relations...regards sundari
     
    5 people like this.
  6. shreyasri

    shreyasri New IL'ite

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    hello sunkan,

    this is a very touching post. what a lucky saali!

    many jijus try to pose a romeo image before the machinis, but are never of any use. i think this athim was so good to your people b'cos of his love for u.

    bye!
     
  7. vemularajan

    vemularajan New IL'ite

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    Jija Salee relationship is a joking relationship and permits flirting and joking inclusive of it even socially permits opne sexual advancements from either side. A number folk songs across india are a proof of its roots when as far as the permitted behaviour is concerned. U ladies dont want to accept the truth and its roots human nature. If it is some one fliritng you think ure still charming. If your husband flierts, u get possessive. These traditions carry a lot of history and time testednes after which you come one day on earth and say its all rubbish.

    What has thi western wave given you ?? only confusion:)
     
  8. vemularajan

    vemularajan New IL'ite

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    This is such a boring superficial.description of such a promising relationship as that of Jija Saali.
    Being a guy, I cant think of a single Jiju who has never eyed his younger (sometimes older too) salee. Or the case may be jiju is too smart 4 you to make you think hes concentrating only on salee's sister (wife) and remains away from the all vices LOL.

    Shreyasri, please Dont admire a Jija who is not flirting . It sends across a wrong message. The tradition must be followed and Jija Sali relationship should exist in its purest form which is a socially accepted 'Joking Relationship" (sociology ladies would know whats this term).

    These phrases 'Sali aadhi gharwali' can be taken in the other sense too .. I.e shes close to becoming a fulltime. And this is manytimes the case.
     
  9. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear vemul,
    just next after my husband and my sister i have another relationship that is beautiful to see, yes that of my elder son in law and chitra my second daughter he is a great rescuer for her, the minute she says she is in trouble he can put her mind to peace in a few session of talks, and i know what it is genuinely so.

    agreed every man has the urge but there are some men who are above this and realise what relationship is all about and their responsibility even today my sis sathya who is a member here if she sees this writing of yours might take offence, so i am among people who know what they are and to whom, it is one of the closest relationship, when both know their limits, and can be envious given the situations, even now after his death of many years flowers will be on his photographs when ever she is in bangalore...

    men of these calibre do leave behind panging salis..sunkan
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sunkan,

    A very good post, and very very interesting one.Now here goes my take.

    Yest at cards with friends, somehow this topic came up,and i had not read yr blog.How uncanny that today morning i see this.

    I told my friends, that in the olden days,when the wife was pregnant, the inlaws used to send the saali over to help around, and u know what my friend said ? He said , stupid, the mother inlaw used to come, and keep a sharp eye on the hubby, and she would sleep with her daughter,a nd tell the hubby to stay away from her till she delivers.How unromantic.

    And i have 2 Saalis, but all far away,so well thats that.But this relationship is very funny and at times naughty.Dont they show in the movies, the saali throwing the husband in the room with his wife, and lockign it from outside, and teasing him ?

    An interesting blog, well said Sunkan.You know if i were to write thios blog, u know what my take would have been.The I lites would have been scandalized,HAHA.Regards.kamal
     

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