The Art of Turning Deaf - Compilation of Ideas

silvertulip · Mar 6, 2012

Dear All,

We often discuss in the forum that we should learn to ignore the petty stuff and nonsense talks of MIL/ILs/DH when required. I just thought that we should gather our ideas on how to practice this art of turning deaf to the constant complains and irritating behavior which annoys and spoils our mood most of the time. If we learn how to turn a deaf ear and ignore, we can find peace in ourselves and can be happy. I know it is difficult (at times I lose my temper) but still we can try..here are some points from me..

1. The food is so bad, u can't cook like me. See my chapatis are so soft and neat!

You are an amazing cook, may be 20 years later I will be a good cook too! Period.

2. Why don't u improve ur dressing sense and pick stuff like me. People talk and notice how we dress up. If we have good clothes and jewelley we should wear it. People respect u seeing how expensive and and good clothes and gold we wear.

I go to office so don't find it safe to wear gold. In office I need to wear office formals, I can't wear heavy and bright clothes. I will wear them for some function, they look nice on such occasions. Period.

3. You don't take care of the house, see I have managed the house so well. I ensure everything is clean and neat. You don't seem to bothered about the house and tend to waste things. Fridge is not clean, and look at the clothes, how u wash them..huh!

I take care of home on weekends and clean things as required. I wash clothes in washing machine as per the instructions. May be I will find a maid to wash clothes as u want else I will change the detergent. Period.

Please feel free to add ideas in the list, so that we have a list of ideas for our reference when required to deal with such annoying and irritating behavior, to maintain our mental health and well being..

ssm014 · Mar 6, 2012

To me honest my MIL is an angel compared to the many cases I read here...
but yes whenever I get bored and dont want to take part in their chai time gossip, or I am getting irritated when guest come over, i used to finish all my work quickly and then simply go into my bedroom and play online games; as if I am doing office work....:thumbsup

SIL, MIL etc would be talking non stop about some relatives etc and here I would be comfortably playing...Ofcourse this dint come naturally...I had to develop a thick skin to do this...:bonk

Yumna · Mar 6, 2012

The Art of turning deaf (i wonder if dumb and blind too)......we all need such skills :thumbsup.

silvertulip · Mar 6, 2012

ssm014 said: ↑

To me honest my MIL is an angel compared to the many cases I read here...
but yes whenever I get bored and dont want to take part in their chai time gossip, or I am getting irritated when guest come over, i used to finish all my work quickly and then simply go into my bedroom and play online games; as if I am doing office work....:thumbsup

SIL, MIL etc would be talking non stop about some relatives etc and here I would be comfortably playing...Ofcourse this dint come naturally...I had to develop a thick skin to do this...:bonk
Click to expand...

Yes dear it comes from practice. I am also not talking about the extreme cases some of which we read in the forum, but the common passive aggressive behavior or the constant criticism/self-praise and boasting by MIL/ILs which we face some time or other in home. Most of us learn to develop thick skin or deaf ears to such annoying acts but it takes time and we lose our peace of mind. That's why I came up with this thought that we should compile all ideas which can help us in developing thick skin/deaf ear to such people for keeping our minds sane. :coffee

sweetestshweta · Mar 6, 2012

1.MIL cries all the time.To make DH feel how sad and deprived both MIL and SIL are while we are having fun and going out..
Excuse me but You all enjoyed your time with your husbands and had fun in your age so LET US SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER..

2.MIL and SIL are world's best people and best cooks..
Yes..Yes..Yes..How many times do you need us to accept!!!! PLEASE DON'T PUT YOUR HAND IN OUR MOUTH TO MAKE US ACCEPT..

3.MIL and SIL are the best mothers one can have.They raised the children as no one else did or will do..
YES..LETS MAKE IT SIMPLE..ATLEAST I AM NOT GOING TO BE AS GOOD AS YOU..PROMISE..

4.SIL is the best in everything-cooking,painting,knitting etc..Instant appreciation would come from MIL whenever DIL's sister os any other rlative is appreciated..
YES..EVERYONE WOULD SAY SO IF YOU WOULD ALLOW..

5.DIL might be a high flier in her work front but she has to be a better version of a village type DIL when it comes to tradition..
YES..I'LL DO ALL THAT.BUT PLEASE TEACH THE SAME TO YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER..

There are many many more..But lets hear what other ladies have to say..

poojachinoy · Mar 6, 2012

@sweetestshweta :rotfl :thumbsup

BerryPine · Mar 7, 2012

Nice thread!!
Its really a toughest thing to pretend like deaf and dumb!
If we become so the world will become idle!! lol

soulful · Mar 7, 2012

you use too many vessels to cook food (when cooking is done for the whole day and there are only 2 plates, 1 big spoon, 2 kadhais in the sink)
BLANK STARE ON THE OPPOSITE WALL

you take too much time to bathe(20 mins including cleaning toilets and the bathtub)
BLANK STARE ON THE OPPOSITE WALL

the carpet has not been vacuumed (exactly the next day after it was done)
BLANK STARE ON THE OPPOSITE WALL

you didn't tell me that you are doing xyz(after being told 10 times the prev day)
BLANK STARE ON THE OPPOSITE WALL

you don't say anything to whatever I say
BLANK STARE ON THE OPPOSITE WALL

poojachinoy · Mar 7, 2012

@soulful :thumbsup :bonk

goldfinch · Mar 7, 2012

My MIL goes like this
-U.K is the best country to live in the world ! ( no wonder your DD lives there)
-It is easy to raise boys outside India than girls( not to mention I have a daughter)
-Dentistry is most difficult and most respected profession in the world!(you could have figured it out why!)
where as what ever DIL studied is just use of common sense ,no need to go school at all!:drowning
- only who studied in English medium schools can really speak quality English and the rest stutter alot!
DIL spoiled my grand daughter (just 2 ) by too much love whereas my grand sons are highly disciplined.(good for you)
i just give her half smile,
Result my DIL is not quick witted!!!:bonk