The Anatomy Of A Womaniser!

varalotti · May 15, 2007

The Anatomy Of A Womaniser.

I have never been a womaniser, not even a ladies’ man. Nor have I ever aspired to be either of them. But I had the good fortune of observing quite a good number of that species – the womanisers - in their natural habitat – around beautiful ladies.

One of my acquaintances is a well-acclaimed womaniser. Once he saw a beautiful girl clad in tight-fitting jeans eating ice cream in <st1:address><st1:street>Commercial Street</st1:street>, <st1:city>Bangalore</st1:city></st1:address>. The man’s friend challenged him, “This chick is beyond your ken.”
The hero accepted the challenge.

He approached the young girl and asked her, “Can I have a bite, please?” The girl was shocked. But this man just took the ice-cream from her by force. Anybody else in his place would have been arrested within hours. But after some thirty minutes of wordy duel and a few hours of courtship, he could tick off that girl as one of his conquests.

After hearing this story I started observing him and other specimens of that genre in parties and gatherings. The womaniser has a M.O. (modus operandi).

He first marks his target. Then circles around the target throwing some words of praise, some signs of friendship, all the while sharply focussed on his hidden agenda, which is nothing more than a physical relationship.

He carefully asssess the girl’s strengths and weaknesses and then realligns his strategy. He showers her with gifts. And when the time is ripe he unleashes the attack and wins over the subject. Then the girl is ticked off and the hero moves on to the next target.

There are many men who have good women friends. A womaniser by definition has women friends. But there is a subtle difference. The friends’ circle of a womaniser will be changing with the season. In about six months he would have none of his old friends. Whereas genuine women friends normally last a life time, unless there are compelling external reasons.

Contrary to the popular belief a womaniser knows very little about women. He might know a good deal better about a woman’s biology and her psychological weak spots. He can never even begin to know the pains, the troubles, the problems and the emotions of a woman.

A woman has never ceased to fascinate me – be it a beautiful teenage girl or an ageing mother or a middle-aged homemaker. As a man and as a writer I am always thrilled to see how a woman’s mind works. What hurts her, what pleases her and what upsets her – a study of these can be quite fascinating.

A womaniser does not bother about these aspects and focusses his attention on sex alone.

It is like using a powerful computer with a 80GB Hard Disk, 1 GB Memory and a clock speed of 2.66 Ghz with a powerful Combo CD/DVD drive, only for doing the work of a typewriter.
Another popular myth is that ladies’ men lead happy lives. When they move around their prey, they project themselves as happy go lucky guys. But deep inside they yearn for fulfilment which they can never hope to find in a short-term relationship confined only to the physical aspects.
As a womaniser grows old he longs for deeper relationships which he never gets.

The classical example in this case is a company executive known to me. He was a tall, fair, handsome, outgoing marketing man, who had a flair for ladies. In any party he will be a big hit surrounded by all the beauties. He had affairs with countless women in the city, most of them in his own offfice. Married women, single women, divoricees, widows, older women, young girls – there was virtually no age group or relation-group which fell outside his jurisdiction. There were very few men who did not envy him.

He was married to a beautiful innocent woman from his native place in Karnataka. One night his wife came home from her outing earlier than usual, she saw him in their bedroom with his stenographer.On the same night she went away from him, taking their children with her.

After many years the man married a much younger woman. Once in a way I see the couple. The man is now 60 plus and his wife is hardly 40. In his youthful days he used to almost run while walking. Now he walks very slowly and at times needs the support of his new wife to get out of the car or to get in.

You can never see a sadder man than him. Deprived of the love of his children he is leading a lonely life with his young wife.

For a man, to be able to relate to a woman as such, to hear what she thinks, to listen to her experiences, is a rare blessing.

That to a large extent that defines his thinking and makes him a better man.

Similarly having decent, well-meaning male friends makes a woman, a better woman.

Womanisers and their prey do not know this truth. That’s why they seek their identity in physical relationships and are frustrated over time.

Have you ever noticed that there is no female counterpart for the Womaniser or the Ladies' man? To my knowledge there are no “Manisers" or Men’s Lady”, as such.

Want to know more about this from you.
regards,
Varalotti

sunkan · May 15, 2007

dear sridhar,
here is my very close observation of a womaniser......
A title given to a man who expresses openly his desire for woman and many of them.
Some among them cannot with hold their desire until expressed .
That does not mean the rest are very straight forward and live the life of rama the ekapathni man, but yes, like how many men say. If woman never yield, then how will the man have a chance to be named as a womanizer, so she is the cause for a title like this, that is to say what do u call a woman who loves to express with many or long for a variety of them, Maniser no this word does not exist only she is named as a loose character and so on.

Come to think of this relation men who find themselves admired and charming and would always love to palpitate the heart of woman, whether they are successful or not is not the matter, no harm trying is the matter.

Take lord <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace>Krishna</st1lace>, even in his narayaneeyam he says the rasakreeda is the best, as woman never had any reservation but gave all and that is the union of athman and paramathman. He is a paramathma could say so, but will the society accept this sort of athma sangamam. Never they do only give cheap names to many of these characters in life.

Basically no horoscope or relation in marriage may give this satisfaction of union known as sex, there are many among us as woman, who do not like to have this union more often, not realizing the needs of their men, and there are many men who love the more extra, than going in for the same, that is the wife, always giving in with more non co-operation, or lined with the recent fight and so on.

One thing is very interesting about these womanizers, they can organize things in a jiffy for many, and take a lot of trouble to solve some problems, sometimes they are the apad pandavas, who may help with money, bodily work out things and so on, may be take care of the household expenses, the extra outings which one cannot afford in a middle class family, nice films, and joke to make u laugh so much, I mean a complete attention, now don’t ask about his family, they may be in ruins, not able to meet the ends in life, as their man is spending all on the new friend.

There are many woman, who suffer the PE [premature ejaculation] syndrome in a man, and feel very starved, these are the ladies who don’t mind a nice person who could be of interest to them. In fact they feed them take care of them, buying new clothes and admiring them with perfume and so on. When a body gets the taste of some sukham it keeps searching for more..It is a relationship altogether different, so what if the society is condemning at least the two souls are enjoying, which u cannot buy in the market, or anywhere else for that matter.

Only when there is an extension to this affair like a child coming in, then it is a problem to both, because just from a womanizer he has promoted to an extra marital affair state, the initial enthusiasm does not stop at only appreciating and admiring it is definitely leading to a relationship, some time most of one’s life.
When the children of the woman in relation grow up and find this extra ordinary affair, they throw out the man, with no regrets on their part, but the man so used to her, dies thinking of her, and the mantle of MR.[husband] to his wife remains only in title.

You may notice that the womanizer always leads to extra relation anywhere, the lighter it is, the better, but these men are always looking for new, because their inner urge for more relationship is always alive. Sometimes it goes to the extent of requesting to be buried among beautiful girls…regards sunkan

Vandhana · May 15, 2007

Hello Sridhar,

A nice analysis of a Womaniser or a Ladiesman as you called them. Now coming to their counterpart in women, i think the term to call them is "nymphomaniacs" . I think the women are devious enough to get this categorised as condition of the body!! :2thumbsup: But my point is , they do exist, and ofcourse we have a little more sophisticated term to call these "manisers" , than the poor men , who have common place" womaniser" .
Even though we get to hear few instances about Nymphomanics( owning to the fact that women are a little more discreet about their actvities) , am sure that there are quite a few women out there chasing men!

On the whole i do agree with you , as to the emotional toll these habits take on the person ( man or woman), during their later years.

Vandhana

varalotti · May 16, 2007

Dear Sundari,

Thanks for replying to my post with another leader post. There is one very important observation by you. That the womanisers cannot succeed in their conquests except with the co-operation of their women victims, overt or covert.

Women when deprived of some biological necessities are in a weak position and fall prey to the ladies' men. But on the whole, I have found that in all the cases, the emotional toll is too high and at the end of the day, for a few moments of pleasure they lose something far more precious.

Thanks Sunkan for the analysis.
sridhar

varalotti · May 16, 2007

I have some news for you, Vandhana!

Hello Vandhana,

I do have some news for you. A few years back I attempted a story on a nymphomaniac. I had to do some research on the net. I was surprised to find that as early as 1987 [FONT=&quot]the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual dropped references to "nymphomania"
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Nymphomaniac refers to a woman who wants too much sex. But what is "too much" sex and what is too little are highly subjective and relative that the professionals thought best not to interfere.

Nymphomaniac and nymph are now used in pornography and popular language.
I do agree with you, Vandhana, that there is a small percentage of women, who have this urge to chase men. And as you have rightly observed their lives end in a tragedy - in fact in a worse tragedy than for a man in a similar condition.

regards,
sridhar

meenaprakash · May 17, 2007

Hello SRidhar,

If there are womanisers who conquest girls, there are equal no. of women who can tick off a man easily.
pls include the following characteristics tooo -
he is myopic in his views
he lacks intensity - hallmark of A MAN
he is hollow - no stuff inside
he can never stand even few secs in the company of intellectuals
he'd be treated the cheapest human on earth
he thinks he's clever and using people but half the time it's the other way round

no normal, sensible, mature girl would like such personalities.
Unfortunately, both males & females of such personalities lives end in regret & guilt & sad.

varalotti · May 17, 2007

Good Observations, Meena!

Hello Meena,

Very good observations. If only every lady has this kind of awareness, womanisers as a specie will soon become extinct. Unfortunately there are still many women who fall prey to these men.

Two things come to my mind. One is a not much known book The Narrow Corner by Somerset Maugham. The hero of that story is a young boy who is extraordinarily handsome. And he will be chased by an older woman. The boy will ultimately die. In the course of narration Maugham makes an uncanny observation. A man who has nothing but his physical beauty to offer, is doomed to fail.

Another person who comes to my mind is my Engineer friend who is a womaniser and a very gross one at that. When you talked about intensity this man came to my mind. It will be very difficult to carry on any intelligent conversation with him. Especially if you meet him in some Rotary Club meetings where men and women (beautifule ones) will be around, well, I was even tempted of playing a game. To go to him to talk and when he is busy ogling the beautiful women, to tell in a conversation tone, that he was an idiot and a crook. I was sure he woud not even register such words. But I never had the heart to carry out my wish.

Thanks again, Meena for your observations.

regards,
sridhar

varalotti · May 17, 2007

SHE 4 Posted!

Most Gracious ILites,

Thanks for being with me in this great journey. I am learning from this story as much as you are.

This story is a journey in air, a flight in a spacious A-380 state of the art craft. Only thing is that our flight capacity here is more than 10 times of that of an A 380.

I am posting Episode 4 now.
SHE - Episode 4

We are now taxiing the runway with full speed and are likely to take off at any time.

Fasten your seat belts. Take care. But dont miss the beautiful scenic view from your window.

As usual your captain (and the flight attendant rolled into one) is waiting for your views on the journey.

regards,
varalotti

varalotti · May 20, 2007

Re: Valarppom Thannambikkai 12

Dear All,

In response to the popular demand I am posting a simple English translation of my article "Ennam Pol Vazhvu" which appeared in Dinamalar Varamalar today.

I do not want to post links to the newspaper site. So if any of you want to read the article in Tamil, please pm me for the links to the Tamil newspaper site.

For those who want to read the article in English, please click the link below:

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/sundays-with-varalotti/7825-you-what-you-think-valarppom.html
regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · May 21, 2007

Today Is Not Wednesday, Still.....

Yes, ILites, today obviously is not Wednesday. My mid-week post is another two days away.
Still something happened that made me post well in advance. What made me do that?
Please find out by following this link. And do leave your comments.

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/w...854-accountants-tribute-man-his-marriage.html

regards,
sridhar