That Scene! I will Never Forget! This is a tribute to Manhood!

Kamla · Nov 30, 2006

Dear Chitra..

If I cannot appreciate what is good and beautiful, it will only be my loss! I hope I am saved from that sort of ignorance and may God Bless me with more sense than that. One is not born with all the talents and fortune, but if one does not even appreciate it when it is around you, then one is certainly poor and unfortunate.
My fortune that I got to know people like you, Varalotti and other excellent women here. Thank God and thanks to Induslady

L, Kamla

ambika ananth · Nov 30, 2006

tender one..

Dear Sridhar,

Benjamin Franklin used to start the day by asking himself..” what good thing can I do today”..
The good thing you did as a writer was spreading the good you saw – as a man and as a writer. Anybody can condemn, criticize and say bad about the world, but it takes only few people to observe the good around them. For many it may sound ridiculous that such a small act has appealed to you so much, but that’s the distinguishing mark, of a sensitive heart and a writer’s approach. Once when my husband and I visited our cousin’s house, we caught him giving bath to his son…its an absolutely mundane and common scene for many…but that scene appealed to me so much, that it kept coming to my mind repeatedly…just for the tenderness and love of that act.
But Sridhar, one thing is that a wife need not be dead or absent in a man’s life to do some acts of love as a father. Some men are born with more maternal instincts that they care not only about the financial and security aspects of their children but will also care about their stomachs if they are filled or not, care about their sleep, if they slept well or not and so on…
Now, with both man and wife working, its taken for granted that the zones of father and mother and the individual responsibilities are merged.
Anyways, thanks for sharing the tender scene with us..may the tribe of such loving fathers increase, contributing to a happier world.
Regards
ambika

safa · Nov 30, 2006

A lesson from the book of life..

It has been a very good attempt that you have done to get IL its attention on this incident. I do not feel any surprise on this since I have gone through the same experience during many occasions at my home done by my father and my husband. I couldn’t say all men are like that. No one can be the other man.
This man may be very loving, caring or might have learned to do all these because of the circumstances he had. By sharing this incident with us, you have shared an important lesson from the book of Life.

Preethi · Nov 30, 2006

Truly Touching !

Dear Varalotti,

A real touching incident....Seeing dad feeding his children in the auto nowadays is a rare sight, most of the care and love that dad expresses to his children are mostly seen inside the house only ! I think in today's world, dads too take part in bringing up their children showing his love and affection as good as their mothers, I have known lots of dads doing a wonderful mother's role ! I have seen my father-in-law going behind my sister-in-law with breakfast plate in hand and cajoling her to eat while she gets ready to office ! Even after she is married, she is still treated like a small girl in his eyes, and the same treatment to my hubby too from his dad !

I must tell you one thing here, you must be a real good and lovable father to your child, to be able to appreciate the gesture of another good and lovable father. Its a nice gesture of you to think of bringing this small incident to our eyes. Am sure anyone else in your place, might have maximum enjoyed watching that scene and must have forgotton about it later ! Small things matters a lot and make a big difference Varalotti ! you've proved that through this post. Thanks for sharing the incident.

Wishing that loving father all happiness and joy with his lovable children and wife ! The kids are indeed blessed a lot !

Love,
Preethi

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

You were first to respond!

Dear Varloo,
thanks for your very first response. I know many fathers who do it but they do it with a "have to do" attitude with a sense of duty. But feeding children in a speeding auto not minding the child soiling his clothes, well, that made the scene very touching.
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Well said, Vandhana!

Yes, Vandhana, there is a mother in every father (and a father in every mother) I remember reading Balakumarans novel some aeons back. The title of the novel was thayumanavan. (I am sure that you know that the other temple in Trichy Rockfort apart from the famed Ganesh Mandir, is Thayumanavar temple. Legend has it that when a pregnant woman was all alone, her labour pain started and she summoned for her mother with all her might. Lord Shiva took the form of her mother and safely delivered her of her child)

I don't want the ladies to think that I was such an affectionate father while I was young. No, I am far from that. Perhaps that made me to expect that man to shout at his children for soiling his pants etc. When he did not do it my respect for him increased.

I feel it is all right to confess in this open forum to which my wife has an access. When I was a young father I did not share much of my wife's child-rearing burdens. I don't remember waking up at least during one night to help my wife with the crying child. Of course I provided, and I was there to take them out, to hospital or elsewhere but never did I help my wife in say feeding my daughter or bathing her. In fact I have not even fed my daughter once except when she was an year old and we had to do the annaprachanam when I religiously fed a morsel of food.

Some thoughts that came up when I re-read my post and your response, Vandhana.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

I am happy I kindled your childhood memories!

Dear Sudha,

I am very happy that I made you think about your loving Dad. After reading your post when I try to remember your father's face and his soft-spoken nature, everything fits perfectly.

It is a blessing, Sudha, for which you will have to be thankful for ever.

Your soft words show the love you have for your Dad.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Thanks For the blessing, Chitra!

Dear Chitra,

Though I took so much time to describe the scene, it took place within a traffic signal cycle time about 50 seconds.

I salute the father not only for the act but also for the great love that accompanied the act.

Fathers doing something for their children would normally do it in their own rough and tough style (Exceptions like Sudha's dad are there, no doubt). For example when my daughter wants to be woken up early in the morning she will request only her mother and not me. Even if I offer to wake her up, she will say,

"No thanks, Dad. If you wake me up in your style I will be mood-out for the whole day."

Thanks for the salutation once again.

regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Thanks, Sundari!

Dear Sundari,
thanks for the words of praise. But honestly, Sundari, no tact was used in describing the incident. I allowed the incident to soak in my mind for the whole day. I was in an elated mood throughout the day and in the evening I just wrote down whatever stayed in my mind.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Which way does it operate?

Dear Kamla,

my friend always says that you writers create incidents. But I rebut him with these words, it is the incidents which create writers.

And it is not just sharing responsibilities. Men who want to just log on to their family work to tell their wives later that they also did something, have a way of doing things. But this man was doing with a heart full of love and it showed in every inch of the scene. The soiled pants, the children who did not cry, and above all the man, who did not care about the outside world.

ILites have always teased me because I use the expression "Thanks you for the nice words" a little too much. In fact one ILite wrote to me saying that it is Varalotti-patented expression. But in your case I can really say with all my heart, Thanks a lot for the really nice words, dear Sujatha.
regards,
sridhar