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terrible life with mil's sister

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by anna_rupa2006, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. anna_rupa2006

    anna_rupa2006 New IL'ite

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    hi,
    iam married for past five year,i was staying with my inlaws {mil, her sister unmarried,bother-il} my husband is a software eng.. goes for work around 8am and come home around 9or 10 p.m.my mil is a dumb box won't tell a word to any one my father-in-law passed away before my marriage b'coz of that she fall sick,when my husband was small my inlaws kept her sister to take care of her kids.when every one grown big my fatherin law sent mil's sister to her brother's place thinking that there will be some problems when his sons get married.after his death she came immediately to my mil's house crying to mymil that she cannot stay there.since my mil is very soft nature allowed her,then we got married.after my marriage since we were staying to gether we had many problem that i should only do all household work and both of them will never help me since i don't know any thing abt my mil's sister she made use of me well.i under went suffering in her hand b'coz my mil fall sick.she treated me like a third person.i will never ask any help from her but i will do all household work and kept quiet to things she does to me like scolding withbad words,not keeping anything for me to eat when i complain abt this to my hubby he will scold me back saying handle everythin for ur self i got frustrate with my life even i feel like dieing rahter than to live.my mil passed away 6month before i asked my husband to send his aunt and brother separately.my husband after analysis all problem he didn't want his brother to suffer this same problem after marriage send his aunt to her brother's place.since she is creating problem they are sending her back.she will be with me from feb first week iam wooried from now onwards.she is very michevious person talk bad abt me to her sisters and even to the servant maid.i thought that i could correct her with love and affection but everything failed she only made use of it and talked bad abt me only both in front of me and back.one more thing my husband and inlaws are staying in my parents house (parent's down stair me upstairs) even she use to complain abt my behaviour to my parents they just ask me to be quiet they are afraid that since she is a spincter her curse will come to my family. i have two kids i should conc on their studies i don't want her to create problem in front of my kids.she is a uneducated female handling me very smartly but me educated one cannot i feel ashamed of my self.kindly give solution to handle this problem .one more thing noboby is willing to keep her with them {her own sisters and brother's]but they enjoy when she talk abt me to them in my own house.
     
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  2. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Rupa,

    From the situation that you have described...what i can analyze is that the insecurity at this point of life is the key factor here.

    Since she is not married she does not have any one whom she can call her own. And because of her nature nobody puts her up with them.

    I am sure if you have good relations with the other relatives then slowly they will also realise that whatever she is saying is not the truth.

    From your post i understand that she has been living with you since long and she was kept to look after your husband and his siblings. And when they grew up your IL sent her away. I personally feel that it is not fair. In her hey days she spent her life looking after your family and now when you don't need her you ask her to go away.

    According to me your approach should be that since your MIL was sick and this aunt has brought your husband up....then you should praise her for inculcating good habits and bring up all of them so well also praise her in front of people. She must have been a second mother to your husband.

    Put yourself in her shoes and analyze the situation i am sure you will agree with me.
    Also all these years she was with your family so its natural that the other relatives will not put her up now as they too have their own family.

    I am sure SS, hopefully she lands here. She too may have some good advice for you.

    Keep me posted on whatever decision you take.

    Warm regards
    Roopa.
     
  3. anna_rupa2006

    anna_rupa2006 New IL'ite

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    hi roopa,
    thanks for ur advice,i know all what u have said i used to keep her happy i even showed my love and affection to her but why is treating me as third person.i respect her as my second mother-in-law,i never ask her to do any work at home,iam expecting her not to shout unreasonably and talk bad abt me.the way she treats my husband his brothers,my kids and even my servants is different from me.one more thing my mother-in law fall sick (mental)only after me entering their house.i cannot write that openly,it is everyone mistake.any way thank u for ur advice.
    bye,
    rupa.
     

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