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Telemarketer Repellant

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chatkara_tasty, Nov 9, 2006.

  1. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    1. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
    2. Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
    3. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
    4. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."
    5. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
    6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
    7. Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.
    8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
    9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
    10. When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.
     
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  2. Preethi

    Preethi Gold IL'ite

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    Good One...

    Hi Chatkara,

    This was really good...Had a good laugh ! Its true, how many times some unknown callers frequently call and bug us to promote their products !

    I recall after seeing this post .............Back in India, there were days, I used to get repeated calls from banks persisting that I take a Credit card, despite blatantly showing my disinterest ! Normally, when I get calls at office, just simply to keep myself from loosing patience and to divert the guy/girl so they don't bug me again, I will give the extension no of the subsequent cubicle and person sitting there and ask these guys to call him/her ! These ppl then never disturb me again !! :tongue

    Love,
    Preethi
     
  3. Eljaype

    Eljaype Bronze IL'ite

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    That's a nice laugh

    Dear Heena,

    Repelling salesmen/girls and telemarketeers, it is a very tough job. We have to do all these things, no other go.
    They call up homes only around 2 /3 pm, when you feel like resting a bit. As if on cue they call up. When you see most of the tata indicom numbers and airtel numbers you can be pretty sure that it is telemarketeer calling.
    Maam, Is Mr. Jayaprakash there ? Then I have to ask them which Jayaprakash then they'll have to come out with the first name ,to convince me that it is either the son or the father.
    He has a credit card. on the basis of that card we are offering him a loan ( as if they are giving it free) , like that blah blah.. it goes. I just get irritated and scream at them , we do not need any loan now.
    I do not know how they succeed in making me mad and scream at them.
    I have a caller Id at home. If I see a tata no. ,unless I know the no., I never answer.
    But anyway they had suceeded in their plan. They had gotten me up from the bed.
    Latha
     

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