1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Teens and Birth Control Pills

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Priya16, Dec 7, 2015.

  1. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,937
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    I know this is a very common thing in the US to give birth control pills for teens.

    I just wanted to get ready myself and wanted to understand how many of you support this if not how do you handle your kids.People whoever pass this phase, please give me direction.

    There is no way I can tell, I can control my teen.(my daughter yet but she will soon)
     
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,224
    Likes Received:
    25,200
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    There are two things here - one is talking with preteen/teen girl about sex, STD's, birth control, dating, serious relationship while in high school, boy-friends, and then second is the "which birth control (BC) /when, how, whether to use BC or not" talk.

    For the general sex/bf/dating etc thing, the videos and growth/reproduction class they have in school serves as a good point to discuss things. They bring home some paperwork, worksheets etc. Also, discussing news events related to teens, proms, date-rape etc provides a "neutral third-party" way of discussing stuff.

    About birth-control pills itself - whether to get teen to start, when to start, impact on body, and impact on mind... I ended up having a conversation with my doctor (apparently in annual wellness visit, they are required to ask if anything is bothering the patient, and I happily told her what was bothering me : ) )

    This kindly lady set aside her stethoscope and pulled that wheeled stool closer to me, and gave some valuable gyan:
    - birth control pills are OK for teens to take
    - taking them is not same as having sex. :oops:
    - some teens take it to regularize cycle
    - more important is STD prevention
    - no need to start off pills just like that
    - tell the teen the safe places she can go to and get birth control pills, and that if she feels the need for them, she can tell you (mom) and you will not freak out. If teen has some confidence that mom will not freak out, then she is likely to check with mom if/when the need for BC is felt.

    A more experienced mom gave me more practical advice:
    "Pill-vill chodo (leave the pill-vill) Give her a few condoms to keep with her at all times."

    This "equip the enemy" strategy had me go :shock:

    This experienced mom pronounced it "KON-DEM" which was really funny to hear. On my gentle questioning she assured me that she did mean a male condom.

    I was quite taken aback, but on cooler introspection, and discussing with better-half, the idea of equipping a teen girl with condoms did not seem so bizarre.

    When I thought I had it all figured out, I get this theoretical question one day - "So amma, what if I turn out lesbian?

    :)
     
    7 people like this.
  3. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,937
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Very nice post-Rihana as always.
    My daughter in 6th grade, I know she went through one class at school, but she didn't bring anything home yet.Will that happen in high-school?

    Do you try to bring up our culture differences with kids or you just let them grow as part of this culture?

    When I had a conversation with Dr she told as I parent you should able to teach kids what you believe in(this talk about shaving legs).Is that really works in this society where they had peer pressure?

    Even I am very against of shaving legs also at age 11.But these kids already doing all sort of things.my DD didn't say anything when she asked about it and I said NO.But what age is Ok to allow girls to shave their legs??

    I know as a mom, I'm kind of worried for these girly stuff starting at too early age.

    So you think, we should able to talk to them in high-school?
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    1,635
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I think the most important thing is to educate your kid (be it a boy or a girl) about the stuff. How babies are made, what is menstruation, STD, condoms, pills etc. These talks starts when the baby start to talk and then you gradually add more details. The other very important thing is to keep the communication channel open, that the kid/youngster always feel she/he can ask from you.

    In some cases the pill is prescribed to regulate the cycle. In some cases it is because the she/he is sexually active. But the important thing is that the young person knows about the options, the STDs, how to not give in to peer pressure. And how to get help and advice, there are clinics, nurses etc that support the young ones.

    About shaving legs I wouldn't bother to be worried. It is harmless to do it (of course using right equipment etc), kind of practising make up or hairdos. Make it as a fun thing together. Have your own home spa, buy some nice products and practise together.
     
    4 people like this.
  5. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,735
    Likes Received:
    11,639
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    Realistic parents are the best parents. :) Sorry I have no input. I'm trying to gather tips for myself. :hide:
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,421
    Likes Received:
    3,178
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    A vast topic, but I would prefer that the teens can make their own decision on this. They are mature adults and have every right to do so and can make their choice.
    As a parent we don't have any rights to interfere, that would be situation in US for sure.

    I am not sure what you wanted as a reply. But we need to change on a lot of ways abroad. This is one among them. I have not replied what my personal thoughts are here. Just giving information, that is all.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,421
    Likes Received:
    3,178
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    @Rihana

    The concept of heterosexual or homosexual couples is controversial.
    But whilst I was quite aghast when I first thought about it, currently I feel that it their choice, infact I have seen the human nature in the latter category and they are really friendly and really nice people. And I know them in work place and some at friend's place etc. I don't think about their personal choice, I think how they are as a human being, that is all.

    It takes time to comprehend such situation, but in the end it is the kids choice for which we don't have any control over. Need to accept the situation. We need to change or kind of be acceptable to a lot of things.

    Though I am at the far extreme with regards to personal beliefs, spirituality and ways of living ( more traditional ), I have open mind with regards to these, maybe due to maturity as time goes by.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    1,635
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I faced the issue about homosexuality quite concretely. Always been liberal, thought it is no problem. Then one day my oldest daughter came to speak to me, told me that her sister is bringing home her girlfriend. I replied that it is nice that she (my younger daughter) has friends. My older daughter looked at me and said very slowly and clearly that she is bringing home her _girl friend_, i started to say that it is nice ... until I realized what she was trying to tell me. And it that moment I went from complete chock, anger, confusion etc until I got hold of myself. It took me some days to recover but after that I was fine.
     
    2 people like this.
  9. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,735
    Likes Received:
    11,639
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    It is not a choice. It is a genetic predisposition. Saying it's a choice makes it something that can be changed or controlled. Heterosexuals don't choose their orientations and neither do homosexuals.

    I think Rihana was pointing to the futility of her agonizing over birth control and condoms in case her daughter turns out to be a homosexual.
     
    2 people like this.
  10. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,421
    Likes Received:
    3,178
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, could be genetic, not sure, will find out.
    I was just answering Rihana's last sentence , which she was asking jovially only.
    I too did not mean it in a serious way, I just told what I felt regarding if such a situation occurs.

    No offence intended here.
     

Share This Page