Dear Ils I need a immeidate adivse . My 18 month DD is now getting angry when we get things from her .She turns red and now she bits her teeth and make her body stiff for few seconds which fears us. Her face is red but immeidately when we say no or give a rection for her act she clams and cries loud goes to her grand pa and complains. Iam worried why she does that is there any way of stopping her to do that . Should i consult a dr. This week she was sick ad she does that more when she is upset or wants attention Pls i need advise
hi sumati.. first question.. biting teeth, getting stiff.. is that how any of you at home display your anger? if yes, she must have picked that up from one of you. sometimes even without our knowledge, we pass these to our LOs; later find them mirror us. i didn't know my biting teeth to suppress anger was so obvious until DD started doing it too; now i stopped consciously, and trying to get her out of it.
hi Sumati and Asha.. I never knew kids so small can get angry too.. until DS started showing it now and then.. not very often though.. looks like it is their right of expression but annoys me to the core.. DS get upset if I by mistake make him drop something.. like I ask him to stop something or when I try to carry him out of a place, something drops from his hand.. he thinks I did it intentionally and gives me a stern look that I hate to get from my 3yr old.. I just lower my voice and tell him 'you cannot get angry for this..' or sometimes when he screams out of anger or taks in a louder voice, I say 'dont talk to amma like that..' looking into his eyes and in a lower tone. I dont know if this will make him change but for that moment he immidiately changes his tone/ stern look and becomes normal.. I am confused if there is anything we have to do at this point to not let him continue this behaviour.. infact we do not show anger to him these days.. he started doing this long after we stopped getting angry on him so I feel he is icking it up from TV / cartoons and he knows diff expressions now.. happy / sad/ angry, etc.. so maybe he is replicatiing it.. waiting for any ideas..
Sumati, both my kids are short tempered as early as infancy. I guess it runs in blood at times. The only way to stop is to condition the child, if they turn red or stiff its a bigger damage to their growth.. try to see if the child gets distracted in a while after giving back the item of discontentment. My DD does it for sharp objects like knife etc and I have no option but to give it back and be with her for a while and then divert her to another object as a barter system... and quickly sneak away the dangerous item.. she doesn't get diverted easily...
One things for kids is they pick up any and every reaction that are shown around them. It can be from parents, grandparents, others around, TV. So the best way to deal with anger issues would be to avoid it in first place: like not going out when the kid is tired or sleepy. Feeding the kid on time to avoid hunger pangs. If tantrums can be avoided, then they will gradually outgrow the behavior. Also the best way is to distract. It might not work immediately, over a course of time it will. Also ignoring their tantrums sends the child the message that he/she will not get things done by screaming or crying. They learn it soon and hence ask for things what they want.
