Taking for granted?Oh,no, taken for granted! :-(

Chitvish · Sep 1, 2008

We take people or things or situations for granted.
As many times, we are also taken for granted!

Taken for granted means what is self-evident or obvious, according to dictionary.
I personally feel, we take for granted what Mother Earth and nature provide us. Do we ever pause to think what would happen if there were no sun for a day?
Imagine how we can live without light, sunshine, water or air? I feel we owe a big thanks to the powers of nature. When we stop and bother to focus on things which are normally taken for granted, creativity in us surges!

We love to take our happiness and luck in various spheres for granted, often. Much of the unhappiness we feel in our lives can often be significantly reduced and sometimes even eliminated when we think about that which we take for granted and give some real appreciation for it. It is high time we give at least a thoughtful acknowledgement to our everyday life on this earth.

The thing unfortunately most often taken for granted is our own health and well being. Why does it take, finding out that somebody close to us has cancer or is having heart problems , get us to appreciate that we are still healthy? Even minor health problems can bring about an appreciation of our own well being.

Taking for granted happens in close relationships which have lasted for sometime. Sometimes being taken for granted can be a compliment and it means we have become a trusted, comfortable part in the other person’s life.

We also take for granted When something is available all the time. Accepting something is true without first thinking about it or making sure that it is true is also taking for granted!
Is not our eternal grievance “I am always taken for granted” ? We do not mind it if the person is close to us or one who loves us. But if we are taken for granted regularly without ever being acknowledged, we do feel hurt slightly. We do feel irritated if our friends, spouses, colleagues, siblings and not to forget our own children always take us for granted. I do not say that they must thank us on a regular basis, no. But an occasional appreciative word or gesture does undeniably make us very happy.

Generally people who work smart, not hard, get appreciated more than those who slog. They make a mark and are not taken for granted. Very often when we help others, we are taken for granted. It is better to make them realise that we are, in fact, obliging them and not helping them. I think, that is not wrong at all !
In any relationship, we have to keep on growing so that the other person will watch us and appreciate rather than accepting us as we are. We must keep on improving our self-image, without which our growth can be staggered.

Let us be nice, decent, soft-spoken and hard working, but at the same, in order not to be taken for granted let us be assertive, a little aggressive, growing and ready to move on.

Love,
Chithra.

Sriniketan · Sep 1, 2008

Dear Mrs.Chith,
Nicely 'chewed' the different areas where we and others have taken for granted ..points mentioned here are absolutely true...
but the solution you had given at the end is 'digestable'
which gives an answer to my thread,' how do you draw the line'..

sriniketan

Devika Menon · Sep 1, 2008

Dear Ma'am,

Let me first take this wonderful lesson to take this morning as a blessing and not s granted and wish you a very good morning!!)

Lovely blog Ma'am, as alllllllllllways!!

Yes it is very sad that this "taken for granted " syndrome does jeopardise a lot of things inlife.
Very often we expect people to understand our feelings without speaking, a sign of taken for granted . But tellling this , appreciating,. acknowledging the fact that we do welcome their efforts a small thankyou, sorry etc. makes a lot of difference.

Ironically Ma'am in most of my counselling sessions, this word"taken for granted" takes the major part of the conversation. Whether it is for parents , siblings, friends or spouses , the major grievance is that,"We are not happy or we want to move out because we are taken for granted".
Yes when we see the outside world we realise the wonderful things we have been blessed with health, loved ones, etc. that are generally overlooked since we take it for granted.
I think simple efforts that show you care , for eg a small 3 letter statement like "I love you" to parents, spouse and kids makes one feel so wanted and helps in bonding well.
That does not mean that if we do not say that means we do not love but when ears are one of the senses God has gifted us it ,so we crave to listen to good things .
I guess if people start taking others for granted and appreciate each other more there would be so much of happiness beacause each will feel there is a special place for them in everyones heart becasue at the end of the day the place in the heart is so much more important than a place at home.

Lovely blog Ma'am and as usual I have overutilised my space , but you come up with such interesting blogs that the fingers refuse to stop typing.

Love,
Your Mol

Vysan · Sep 1, 2008

Dear Chitvish,

What a Blog!!!!!.... Great.... Early morning I was trying hard to compete with time... Now you made me to break it...

I agree with you that most of the time we take things for granted... We pressume that it is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their kids, provide good food, clothing and shelter... we dont acknowledge the hard work / sacrifices of our parents...

At the same time we take for granted that our kids will take care of us at our old age... Now let me not go into this topic....

What I wanted to convey is... it starts off from our home... It is in our culture... We dont develop the habit of saying thanks... so it is not getting into the kids and the next generation...

I agree with you... in the work place it is more prevalent... People take us for granted... if we dont keep cribbing or expressing our displesure over the issues they will keep dumping more work and responsibilities and at the end you will be overloaded with more than what you can handle... But at times people tend to over do it... The famous prover... Azhara pillaikku than thayum pal koduppal... will very much apply...

At the end of the day... We all look out for some appreciation or a pat on the back... Though monetary compensation helps people... the acknowledgement of somebody's hard work goes a long way...

I was told camels meat is more hard to chew and takes time to digest... So, taking us or things for granted is real hard to chew and digest...

Veda

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Sep 1, 2008

Dear Chithra,
If we are meek and softspoken, people are taking it granted and indulge in miLagu arachufying on our head.We ourselves are to be blamed for this. I have this weakness, but can't control it. The more I try to be assertive, I fail in my attempt even with the servant.
Love,
PS

Lalitha Shivaguru · Sep 1, 2008

Dearest Mami,

Your post brings a whiff of fresh air for the begining of the week. It rejuvenates us.

First, neega enna ashirvadham pannugo........ because today happens to be my star birthday. In my in laws place it is customary to celebrate the star birthday than DOB. And I had taken for granted my dh will remeber mine........ romba kanavu ennakku. But till yesterday evening everybody totally forgot........ I was wondering whether I am also forgotten in this place. Finally late in the evening when I went to the tailor to check for my new dress my dh asked me as to why I am behind the tailor always......:spin then suddenly out of the blue he asked when is my bd? Parungo kutha even my BD I should remind them? Romba kovam vandhudhu but finally thought to myself this person is like that only, we cannot change him.

But nowadays I do assert myself even if iam extending any help. Before atleast in the family I used to offer my help even when they did not ask me. Then I realised that they have taken me for granted....... adhulerndhu koncham carefula irrukken. Eppadi irundhalum nalla peru kadayathu apparum en ippadi kashta padanum?Rant

Chitvish · Sep 1, 2008

I will read your blog now. What I hate is, being taken for granted if we are the soft-spoken type! We have no choice but to show our firmness, sometimes in our words or actions. But rarely do we execute it & take it for granted, to our disadvantage :-(
I love you, Bhargavi!
Chith.

Chitvish · Sep 1, 2008

You never take appreciating me for my choice of topic, for granted. I am not a prude to deny that I have started looking forward to your FBs.
Let me share my thoughts, Mole. In our culture or call it, way of living, expressions are given less importance - I know not why.
My spouse is not the type who would ever come out with the three magic words. I attribute it to the way he was brought up.
Well, according to him, it is taken for granted, thats' all! But today's generation is more expressive, watching which, I wonder, if our generation's expectations soar up!
Now, I have come to realise that verbal expressions do contribute in nurturing a realtionship instead of both the partners taking it for granted.
I love you, Devika.
Chithra.

Chitvish · Sep 1, 2008

Just like we take for granted that it was the duty of our parents to bring us up, we do not keep quiet when it comes to our generation. I know some friends who give me staistics as to how much they sacrificed for their children, how much money, they spent on thier costly education etc. When the children take them for granted & do not even provide them, the minimum material comforts in old age, the parents do feel let down and complain that they were taken for granted. There is no answer for this.
I think, expectation to a small extent without for ever (or for convenience?:idea)
being taken for granted, is human nature.
I love you, Veda Boy!
Chithra.

Chitvish · Sep 1, 2008

Vish is comparatively soft-spoken, whereas I am more firm with servants. Ultimately they take him for granted as a goody, goody man and I receive all brickbats.It was all these thoughts, that prompted me to blog on this!!
I love you, PS.
Chithra.