Taking Charge

I never knew I had such a fragile will power. For years together now, my attempts at weight loss have been disappointing and very demotivating. Now I’m at my wit’s end. I weigh around 84Kgs (minimum weight-53 Kgs-first year of college). This has become the most important issue in my life and really nothing else matters. I have vowed to myself that 2016 will be an year devoted exclusively to self-love, in terms of weight loss, skin care, hair care, sanity and gratitude. The major roadblock to achieving my goals is a debilitating disease that I’m battling with, since last 2.5 years. It is PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). It has innervated major areas of my life so invasively that a few months back, I had a break down and was under strict psychiatric intervention. With medication, self-talk and support from a few angelic souls around, now I’m off the medicines and only pop a pill under an SOS condition.

All these 2.5 years, I have been to countless gynecologists, homeopaths, dietitians, gyms, etc.., but literally, nothing worked. Now I have taken my health/psychological concerns in my own hands and I’m determined to come out of the pitch black darkness of PCOS to a bright sunny side of life. These past few weeks I have done extensive research on this disorder. I have learned that PCOS doesn’t have a permanent cure and the symptoms along with the full-blown ailment keeps affecting the person again and again if they get back to their old/junk lifestyles. Therefore, I have conditioned myself, every now and then that whatever I’m going to do in the direction of my overall well-being is going to be lifelong. I have devoted past few days in gathering an exhaustive information on how diet can reverse this disorder. Diet, along with a few vital supplements, a steady exercise plan plus mild medications can help. In addition, a PCOS afflicted woman can’t afford to have prolonged episodes of stress as the latter has a direct relationship with our endocrine physiology. Greater the stress, higher the hormonal turbulence.

I have realized over the last few years while I was ballooning with fat that we are totally responsible for what we are in each and every area of life including physical health. I have had some life changing incidents over the past few years which have made me very vulnerable and I disrespected my body by finding a solace in sugar, soda, cheese, sweets, etc. The wakeup call arrived when a few days back I felt a faint pain in my chest and visited a cardiologist for the first time in life, at the age of 31. Thankfully, the cardiologist was godsend. After a thorough work up, he concluded that the pain could be due to flatulence and that there was no need of any prescription. He advised me to continue with the psychotherapy and look for weight loss solutions. I asked him to suggest a weight loss clinic and he referred me to an obesity specialist. The obesity specialist was a guy in early forties and very flamboyant. After talking to him for 5 minutes, suddenly it dawned on me that this guy and his practice was more about bariatric surgery! I made it very clear that I’m not even thinking of surgery so that was totally out of question. He then suggested a 3-month weight loss plan again emphasizing that if the weight dint come off, we will be going for the surgery! I had a very strong intuition that he was purposely pushing me towards the surgical procedure for minting money.

That was it! I wanted to stop being a victim who is at the mercy of these doctors and dietitians. I no longer want to be a victim to dietitians who at the pretext of helping act like dictators. I have decided to take charge and understand my body, respect it and heal it completely. Over the last few days, I have undergone some blood work and have come to know that I have some major deficiencies (Vitamin-D, Folic acid, calcium) and high cholesterol. I wonder why no doctor ever advised for these tests. Why was it only about serum testosterone, thyroid or prolactin? Why was the approach so myopic when it should have been holistic given the fact that PCOS has an impact on every area of a sufferer’s life. Why was it always about inducing cycles and not getting to the root cause? Vitamin D deficiency is linked to depression, difficulty in conception, then what was I being treated for? There were so many loose threads which I have tried to get hold of in the last few days. The approach towards the management of this disease is very critical and exhaustive.

I will be updating this section every week about my journey which has just begun. I’m journaling everything because I want to be accountable to myself.
Life is too precious to be wasted on binge eating and its repercussions.

 

Thanks for the support friends.
Today i weighed 82.3Kg.
I have noticed that whenever I have an early dinner I feel better the next day.

I got up on a very positive note today. I am working on regularizing my cycles with my mind and body in total harmony. This is going to be a long journey and I am prepared. I have to let go off some addictions (caffeine, an expectorant, chewing gum). Rather than going cold turkey I will wean off of these things gradually, by opting for healthy alternatives. I am offering prayer to GOD everyday to be with me and help me if I face a temptation/distraction. Lastly, I'm bound to deviate but rather than All or None (which I have been doing lately), I'm going to try to be back, where I faltered, to take it further.

 

@chocogal26,

Yes, im taking ca/mg/zn OD pill and Vitamin-D once a week pill, OD folic acid pill, nothing for cholesterol as im TTC and the GP said I need this cholesterol.

 

@ashwinid01

I'm trying to gradually turn into a complete vegan but going raw is unimaginable.
Even going vegan is a tad challenging because milk replacement with almond milk/coconut milk is a tough call for everyday. I have replaced cheese with tofu though I have some reservations about fermented soy that it has.

 

@Yellowmango

Thanku for being dere YM.