Taking care of Pregnant SIL and baby after delivery

sunikrishnan4u · Feb 11, 2008

Hi,

I am relatively new to posting in this website. I have a question, my BIL and Co-Sister, husband's brother & wife, are pregnant with their second child. As no one is coming from India to help them during delivery, I have offered my help. Though I will have to stay away from my DH for the first time in 2 years , planning to go for almost one month, to look after the first nephew, and do cooking etc.

As I am pretty new to pregnancy, I am not pregnant yet and dont have sisters etc. I dont know how to take care of her and the baby. Can u guys shed some light as how to take care of both of them? She had a fight with her emotions as part of post partum depression during her first delivery. Will this be repeated second time also? If so how can I help her in the situation? I am not nervous about the situation, I am collecting as much information as possible in case it makes me of a better help . What all preparations can be done to ease her work, even after me coming back after 3-4 weeks? I plan to make day to using pastes in bulk and store them in the freezer etc. but anything else? Please .....

Thanks
Suni

puni88 · Feb 11, 2008

Hi Suni,
I am really pleased to see you that you want to help your Co-sister.
It should not be much problem to you, When you have a positive thoughts of helping.
Co-sis :
Not sure whether you will be visiting her before her delivery or after delivery.
If it is before deliver, you can take care of the older kid at nights and prepare food for her.
I am sure hospital food won't be sufficient for her.
Try to give her fresh food, with less spicy and avoid too much lentils.
If she has normal delivery, it should not be much problem to your co-sis to take care of herself.
Else she might need help in getting up from the bed, walking etc for few days.
She might feel overwhelmed by physical changes. So please don't take anything serious and try to calm her.
If she gets plenty of rest, she should overcome this soon.
New Born:
With the new baby, assuming your co-sis will be feeding the baby won't need much attention from you, except everyday while sponge bathing the baby. Your co-sis may not be able to do this.
Usually doctors advice not to give full bath until umbilical cord has fallen from baby.
For hair wash, take help from BIL and wash under kitchen sink.
Older kid:
You might have to be very sweet to this kid as he/she might find jealous of new born, might become aggressive, hyper etc.
Keep all his favorite food at home.
Apart from this you will be knowing all the other household things.
You can prepare lots of idly batter (if they are used to eat idly), dals, subzi and they can get rotis outside.
All the best for you,
Punitha

sunikrishnan4u · Feb 12, 2008

Hi Puni,

Thanks a lot for the detailed reply. So the basic idea is to give Co-sis as much rest as possible, take care of the elder one and kitchen, sounds good.

Also though I have held a new born baby, I dont think I can bathe him . I think that I will only help my Co-sis, as shes used to it with the elder son. And yes the idli batter is a good idea and will make lots of sambar too .

Any more ideas? What do usually moms - MILs do when they come for delivery help to US?

Thanks
Suni

Aadhusmom · Feb 12, 2008

Hi Suni,
I think its very very sweet of you to want to help your co-sis during her delivery - not many people would. I cant add much to the practical side of things, but just wanted to emphasise that the post-partum period can be a very emotional time, so dont take it personally if your co-sis cries easily or is unusually sensitive/touchy/irritable during this time. As Puni has said, help with the cooking/running the house as much as you can and she can probably manage the baby as its her second. Hope it goes well for you and your co-sis...

Vanathi.

PS - This will be good practice for you for when you have your own baby!