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Sweety's Diary : A B'lore (Wipro) techie's wife ended her life...Wanna know Why?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vebha, Jun 14, 2011.

  1. menong

    menong Silver IL'ite

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    hi,

    read through the whole story and all comments.....I know i will earn a lot of brickbats for this but all I can say is instead of blaming everyone I would blame Sweety... her diary entries prior to marriage reflects the feeling of an infatuated teenager and not of a woman who was getting married. Her whole idea of marriage and life from her diary entries reflected the "Serial/movie" story of a marriage and not reality seen around. She was not ready for marriage.There were a lot of red flags mentioned. She chose to overlook it and not bring it to her family's notice like the guy acting weird and not putting her foot down to audacious demands of her il's. Secondly, giving a moments benefit of doubt to the guy, he might have realized a similar suicide scene would have happened if he decided to call off the wedding.

    The lady once she realized that there is a third person in the marriage should have tried to talk to husband and evaluated status of her marriage and decided to move on/divorce her husband and get on with her life. Poor Sweety lacked that confidence to reclaim her life . Again as others said it is a by product of being drilled that being married is the be all and end all of all our lives. Had she known that there were other options she would have taken it whether her parents were there or not.

    now the husband:
    A coward who was manipulated by his parents. When will parents stop the hospitalization drama to get adult children dance to their tunes?to be fair to him, He on realizing that the whole wedding sham is adding pressure to his life decided to opt out of it. Now as many posters commented if the other lady/he stopped the affair because of the " getting married " funda and the man stays married with this woman, will the man/marriage be happy in the long run? to the man she will always be the girl the parents foisted on his head. and the lady will always know that though he is faithful he does not love her/sees her as a partner. The bitterness would seep into that marriage day by day. A separation would ensure that they both could get their happiness back. His happiness is also overlooked by everyone including himself when he enterd into this marriage.

    EMA/no EMA this marriage was doomed from day 1 just because one party was not mentally ready and the other one was least intrested.

    Indian parents should focus on teaching kids life skills and self support rather than teach that the goal of life is getting married.
    And also repeated statements of responsibility over would have also made the lady from telling her parents her trouble. All she needed was some hope in life. even if her parents brought her back to their place for some time all this could have been averted.

    I read somewhere that EMA(not by serial lovers) is the last sign that there is something seriously wrong in a relationship.it is one partner searching for what they wanted from the other. Only very few people in the arranged marriage scenario get to evalutae whether the partner is all what they looked for in life and others try to find happiness in what they got. it is when you had enough of finding happiness in your partners that all drama begins.
     
  2. mickeymini

    mickeymini Gold IL'ite

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    On reading this my heart was really paining. I didnt have anything on mind except for sweetys pains. This girl should not have taken this extreme step. If she had thought about her parents or brothers atleast for a minute she would not have gone this far. There is even life after divorce why doesnt she not know this?

    Her soul will not rest in peace unless and until the guy is punished. The guy should be punished badly for what he has done to an innocent girl. Only when he feels bad for what he had done to sweety then her soul will rest in peace. If this guy is not courageous enough to convince his parents about his love then he shouldnt have continued the relationship with the other girl after his marriage. He doesnt have any rights to spoil someother girl's life for his happiness.

    HE SHOULD BE PUNISHED PUNISHED AND PUNISHED BADLY.
     
  3. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Probably Sweety got carried away by her Hs looks, job, big city lights and purposely ignored the red flags that guy was waving. She could have told her bro about Smartu having GFs . Think the entire family was impressed with the DD marrying a software goodlooking techie and could not bear to see DD return home .
    Its strange that Sweety never went home on a visit to unwind , maybe her parents chose to leave her to her fate. Even the brother could have asked her to come with him. But he cried in front her making her feel guilty.
    Ok the guy has to be punished for being a coward. But her parents too abandoned her to her fate.
    Now they are creating a fuss , if they had come to Blore and taken her home it would have saved her life. But they must have been scared of neighbours talking, small town mentality.Maybe a dead DD is better than a divorced DD.
    Spending 18 lakhs is a huge amount.They couldnt be poor .
    The poor girl was abandoned by her husband, her parents and probably thought that death was better than a divorce!
    Sorry to be harsh but I have no sympathy for the parents who did not stand by her. Never visited or called her home , how callous.They should also be taken to task.
    Her parents are equally responsible for Sweetys suicide like her Husband even though they knew that things could happen in June .
    They could have put the H and family in jail for dowry instead of doing it now and saved their DD.There is 498A and also something called a divorce.
     
  4. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    It was sweetu decision to stay with him. In that case her parents couldnt do anything. If they raised the issue to police or women cell or any other way. Sweetu would have said please dont blame by mikku. SHe was madly in love with this guy, which he used fully.
     
  5. emma83

    emma83 New IL'ite

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    The story of Sweety brought tears in my eyes.. am literally crying sitting at my desk at office. Its disgusting to realise that in-laws of her are still alive and even more disgusting that her husband and his GF (who is not ashamed to have a EMA) is still alive. Life just seems so unfair right now. RIP Sweety....
     
  6. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Every young girl must read this thread to get some reality about the practical life and the importance of being independent(financially).
     
  7. Sayeeda

    Sayeeda New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    Read the whole content of Sweety's diary as posted, tears start to roll off my eyes with the last sentences of hers... I guess she had reached the highest point of depression due to all circumstances she went through & moreover she was all alone there in the new place where she dint know anyone & she couldn't regain her confidence back what she had before her marriage due to which she din't come up with any decision for getting divorce from her unworthy husband even when he had already informed her that he will end his relationship with her soon.

    Sweety's husband's parents are also to be blamed as they were aware of his affair with another girl & still got him married to Sweety just for dowry. Such people must be punished severly for what they've done.

    Friends I dunno y but Iam gettin scared now as iam still unmarried,from this I understand that life can take any turn any time & we may not even know about it, whom to trust & whom not to becomes a huge question when it comes to such relationships at times.....how to decide on this?

    Regards,
    Sayeeda
     
  8. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Since it was an arranged marriage, I feel her parents should have done a lot more to check the groom's background and his past. Sweety was willing to wait for marriage, but her parents didn't listen to her and got her into this mess. Then another set of parents, the groom's parents, were so greedy and stupid that they got their son married to Sweety when they KNEW he was already having a relationship with another woman. I swear, if anyone ever again tells me that 'parents are like Gods' I will point them to this story as PROOF that parents make mistakes, parents can do bad, and parents can ruin lives just like ANY humanbeing.

    Although it was ultimately Sweety's decision to take her own life, I just can't bring myself to blame her. She sounds so sweet and genuine. Her husband must be SO dumb. She sounded like a wonderful wife and a wonderful person. Shame on her husband for not valuing her. Shame on her family for rushing into this marriage. Shame on her inlaws for being so nasty.

    I hope young men and women entering into arranged marriages read this and proceed with caution.
     
  9. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    Perhaps, but there are the Dowry Laws that were created for this purpose

    Dowry law in India - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    IPC Section 304B: Where the death of a woman is caused by any burns or bodily injury or occurs otherwise than under normal circumstances within seven years of her marriage and it is shown that soon before her death she was subjected to cruelty or harassment by her husband or any relative of her husband for, or in connection with, any demand for dowry, such death shall be called "dowry death" and such husband or relative shall be deemed to have caused her death.


    Yup, I believe they got a clear-cut case.....
     
  10. zipzipzoomzoom

    zipzipzoomzoom Gold IL'ite

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    I'm in your similar situation. I'm unmarried, and dream of a happy married life. When I read things like this, it makes me re-evaluate who is around me, who can you trust.


    I guess we all have to trust God.
     

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