Sweeter life through compromise !

Chitvish · Nov 3, 2008

Compromise or strike a balance!

This is one of the regular advices, we receive. I always thought, the latter literally means, “finding the average” or something similar!

The world is neither good nor bad. At best it is neutral.
When we are afraid, we find things to fear, all around us.
When we are hurt, we see suffering and feel hopeless often.
When we are angry, we discern plots and enemies, lurking everywhere!
When we feel guilty, we seek out disappointment and take it as a punishement we deserve and we lose our will to grow.

But ,
We must remember, while all this negativity is going on, something good is also taking place.

We have taken bold decisions in life, very often, taking a risk and have succeeded fairly well. When you think of this, your fear should vanish.

We cannot deny that never have we hurt anybody in our life. Well, we might have done it unknowingly many times, but we can’t deny that at least on a few occasions, we have done it knowingly.

We cannot rule out that we have always been pleasant in our interactions with others. We have given them a small piece of our mind, knowing that they will definitely get angry on hearing us or thinking, they deserve it!

In spite of humanity all around us, let us extend our thinking a little bit. There are many things in nature, which make us happy, for which we cannot be grateful enough.
Unless we learn to strike a balance, we will find that there are more reasons to be unhappy than happy in life!

By a small compromise, we, very often gain a lot in life. We do compromise with our spouse on so many issues. Finally what we gain is our own happy married life. Understanding how to compromise is at the root of any solid relationship.

Learning how to integrate compromise in our life can do wonders in our relationship with friends.

It takes just a little effort to compromise, to make our life better.

Even though you may not fully like your job, compromise a little and get the courage to work a little harder. Success is yours! The compromise is all worth it!

We don’t have to solve all our problems. We just have to compromise that everything may not work the way, we want them to. But, as we flow with the tide, we very often realise that our initial apprehensions were uncalled for.

Compromise willingly on things which cannot be changed; you will have no regrets. But never ever compromise on quality!

Where you cannot compromise, strike a balance to the extent possible – sadly choice is limited in life, very often!

I love this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else;
And for everything you gain, you lose something else.

Love,
Chithra.

Vysan · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Chitvish,

Hope you had a great Deepavali...

Now I understood, the reason for the selection of your topic... compromise or Balance... The question starts from, whether we should buy the Deepavali sweets or we should do it... If we decided on that, which ones to buy... Then we come to balance it... the difficult ones to do we will buy it and easiest ones we will do that or we will do which we are good at and the rest we will buy... Then comes the next stage... whether to keep even the purchased ones also to the pooja or only home made to be kept... it keeps on continuing...

Hahahahahaahhaha... We have to make compromises and balancing at each and every phase of our life... We want to have everything to be beneficial to us or yield good benefits to us... So, we go as per our wishful thinking and then try to have a compromise... The concept of compromise comes, only if we are not able to fullfill our wishes as per our requirements...

Being Neutral... it is the most difficult thing in the world... Even the Lord Krishna couldnt be so... so poor peasants like me...?????

Will come back to you on the interpersonal relationship... as I have to run...

Veda

Mindian · Nov 3, 2008

dear chithra mam,

loved your post as usual and especially the quote...another very important thing to remember is never hold a grudge against anyone for the compromise made..u have done it for the sake of your happiness ...i know of women here who have come leaving well paid jobs and some of them hold it against their spouses which is wrong i think...ie think a 100 times before compromising and once done try and be happy in your new role....
love
Mindi

Chitvish · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Veda, the harmlessly (ofcourse) naughty boy of IL!
Now, if at all, you want to buy from sweet stalls:
COMPROMISe on the quality of raw materials, likely to have been used!
BALANCe the overeating or the illeffects of "other-than-home" food by investing equally on Gelusil or other antacids!!
SO,
It is best to compromise on what the grahalakshmi can confidently turn out, ofcourse, with the help of chitvish recipes.
Balance the overeating by following her recipes (again) of Deepaval lehiyam & inji murabba!

So, next we go on to interpersonal relationship - are you ready???
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Mindi, a compromise is for one's own sake - never to please others. We have no right to think that we "sacrificed" a thing in life by a "compromise"! If it has given you even little happiness in a broader perspective, it is worth it!!
Love,
chithra.

Devika Menon · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Ma'am,

Life is somehow full of compromises ,but we do have a choice. As fairly intelligent human beings we do not mind compromising if the long term goal is going to be good or is going to prove beneficial to us.

If we need to compromise on our time then we shall definitely see if it is investedin a way that we reap benefits later

If we compromise in a relation we should be sure that it is going to be a long term association and one that will help us in our growth as human in life. If a relation is proving to be detrimental to us ,emotionally exhaustive then i really do not see any reason for a compromise.

After all I feel that if one is blessed with life then the primary requirement is to live and if anything obstructs you from the will to live then that person or thing does not require any importance or compromise.

Yes but if we can see that our compromise will enhance the beauty of our life then compromise is welcome.

Nice blog Ma'am, you never compromise on the beautiful subjects you get us to brighten our monday mornings.

Love,
Your Mol

Chitvish · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Mole, I am flipping the dosai, now!!
You write about me - I insist you do not compromise on time and beautiful points to give me a "quality" feed back! We have to be selective about where and when to compromise so that it is worth it & we will not regret later!
Love,
Chithra.

roopadadia · Nov 3, 2008

Hmmm...interesting topic. The heading brought me here.

For most individuals, life itself is the biggest compromise. Many a times they land in such situations for no fault of theirs and then to recover from that and getting back to normal life itself is a huge compromise. But yes, in such situations they learn such an important lesson and also become so strong mentally.

The sad part today is people are ready to compromise on relationships but not on unnecessary things and because of this we see so many relationships turning sour.

If we can distinguish between the quality and the quantity...i feel the compromise done is worthy enough, so as not to have a lingering thought on the back of our mind that we had to compromise.

Chitvish · Nov 3, 2008

Dear Roopa,compromise is possible only if we are not prepared to go to extremes. Very often, we are happy only if we compromise with a positive meaning!
Compromise is interpreted, depending on the situations also! But, as you rightly put it, we learn a valuable lesson by that.
Love,
Chithra.

jaysanth · Nov 3, 2008

hi chithra,

a wonderful topic!! so aptly put also..
yes.. for relationships to work out compromise is necessary to a certain extent.. and works wonders if it is from both sides.once again it depends on the individual and how he \she looks at life on the whole.
on an individual note.. i have gained a lot by compromise.. and sweetness of it, if it is recogonised by your life partner. i guess thats a secret to a good relationship.
the world would be a much better place to live in... if only everyone has the policy of give and take..
kudos to u for starting such a lovely thought provoking thread!!:thumbsup

cheers
jayashree