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Survival of the fittest

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Richa_05, Mar 29, 2009.

  1. Richa_05

    Richa_05 Senior IL'ite

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    Many a times I wonder if being polite and kind really works in today’s world. Parents teach their children to be considerate of others’ feelings and to be polite to all. But when I look around, I find only cut throat attitude which gets to the first and finest spot.

    So, how much should be our level of politeness and kindness? Should it be ‘Tit for Tat’ all the way or the Gandhian way like, “If somebody slaps you on one cheek, offer the other one”. For those who have watched the movie, ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’, this particular Gandhian way of life was dealt with in a very comic way. We know that good karma leads to good things and bad karma nips off all means of achieving anything good.

    Just a small incident that is in sync with our topic, “I just happened to be at the supermarket on the weekend and took up to a queue at one of the cash counters. It was crowded owing to the weekend, so everybody was getting restless. I was waiting patiently and was enjoying the sights around me. Just then, I see a lady come and stand next to me with her trolley of groceries. I was confused but displayed a cool exterior and started to look ahead. What I saw was simply not done. Some guy (say Mr. B) had come with his trolley of stuff and conveniently parked himself next to the guy (say Mr. A) in front of me. This lady, taking a cue from Mr. B, landed behind him, next to me”. Folks, do you understand what this means???

    Well, let me explain. A second parallel queue was being formed going to the same cash counter. I started to look around and soon saw that the queue in my adjacent cash counter was proceeding at a faster pace and to avoid further predictable controversy, I just slipped to the next queue without coming in anybody’s way. My gaze lingered at the queue that I had just abandoned and I found that Mr. A, previously in front of me, suddenly became aware of the situation that he was in. So, with a very polite face and I’m sure the words that came out were also very polite, he suggested to Mr. B (a burly fellow!!!) who had landed up next to him just from nowhere that he should actually be standing behind him and not next to him cause he is cutting the queue. Mr. B didn’t budge and argued (I could just see them arguing while loading my stuff on the belt in front of the cashier). What I saw next, really stirred something inside me and here I am all ready to write my first snippet in IL.

    Firstly, Mr. B didn’t give in to the polite request of Mr. A instead just argued to prove his point that he was doing the right thing by barging in. Secondly, the lady saw the two men in argument, she quickly judged who was in charge hence just shooed off a request made by Mr. A that she, at least, follow the queue and moved in quickly to say that she was in queue behind Mr. B. Finally, poor Mr. A had to move himself to the last of the line behind Mr. B and the lady. Mr.A couldn’t say much, so much for being polite!!!

    Yet we have to follow the decorum of being polite and kind and considerate. In this world where ‘survival of the fittest’ is the rule of the thumb, I doubt if a person such as Mr. A can be happy having to compromise with his dignity and self-respect. Everyday we come across such incidents and most often we wonder if we are teaching the right principles to our kids or should we just resort to teaching them the practicalities of life.

    In the end, I conclude with these lines :
    Good karma does act as a harbinger of good things in life, if not now then later………so do good and be good but only to a certain extent. As soon as one’s dignity and self-respect is at stake, take action.
     
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  2. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Richa,
    I agree with you, most often agressive and dominant people get alot in the society. It is often due to their nature, the submissive types just given in to them. In a social circle I believe we must be polite, but in a situation where there is gross injustice of the down trodden we must speak out aggressively.

    But somehow i can't push my way in or out like the "go getters", as you said i will always believe eventually you will be judged for all your actions.
    Jaya
     
  3. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    dear Richa .

    i can understand how affected u were by the incident to come and write your first snippet..:)...a huge welcome to u..
    and a very good topic too...i can exactly imagine the scene and feel bad for mr B...but that is life..survival of the fittest as u have so rightly put it...when has everything been just and fair with the world..
    most of the time i only see to it that i behave justly and get irritated by such behaviour from others.......we cant change the world...but atleast i would have given that guy a disgusting look:):)haha the best i can do with a burly fellow..i know it doesn't help but makes me feel better:)
     
  4. Bujji

    Bujji Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Richa

    Good snippet and I like your way of describing it.
    I personally feel, Queue is character related.The person can be judged, by how she/he behaves in Q.

    Mindi, I also give that nauseated look, if I encounter people like him.
     
  5. Richa_05

    Richa_05 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you Jpatma, Mindian, Bujji.......on your fbs to my very first snippet in IL. I feel good and very encouraged by your comments. Thank you gals.

    Bujji and Mindian, I did pass some nasty looks to Mr. B and I wanted to shake Mr. A and tell him, C'mon don't give in, you are in the right place........

    Bujji, very well said that Q is character related.........I agree

    Jpatma............I agree with you when you say that we cannot push our way like the 'go-getters'.

    Life teaches us a lot and sometimes in life one heartfelt experience is enough to change our whole being and perspective.

    Mindian, I agree with you that we cannot change the world but behave justly, true to our character.
     
  6. vishy

    vishy Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Richa

    A Very good Morning to you.

    A good topic. Incidents like this is a part of life in our part of the world. I came across a couple of them myself. Incidents like this surely proves your title Survival Of The Fittest right. In todays dog- world, everybody is expected to be street smart.

    But I am happy that you got your billing done before them.

    vishy
     
  7. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    dear richa,
    congrats on your first snippet. very good narration. the incident must have affected you very much. in the olden times people were so good and abided to rules. but now it is not like that. so if that situation requires for us to fight or raise our voice , there is nothing wrong in it to get the justice. in this present day world if you are polite you will be" taken for granted". so for right situations no harm in fighting to claim our right.
    with love
    pad.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2009
  8. Richa_05

    Richa_05 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Vishy and Padmini,
    Thank you for your lovely fb. Appreciate.

    Padmini, as rightly mentioned by you, with the change in time, we do need to change. And 'taken for granted', Oh! that happens ever so often. If I've to state from my perspective, I don't even take my son for granted, but I've experienced being taken for granted, definitely by relatives, close family members, friends and so on and so forth.

    Vishy, you are so apt when you mention being 'street smart' is the need of the hour today. About my billing, I thought it best to switch when the time was apt cause I too have learnt the hard way.

    I used to be very naive myself but now, at times, I shock me. I wonder how I've adapted to the new me but all in due course. As I've already mentioned, life is a gr8 teacher. We are all on our own and we do need to be 'street smart' to either avoid or face certain situations that are simply not just.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2009
  9. anaamika

    anaamika Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Richa....

    Congrats on your first snippet !! A snippet that came out from life experience can never be anything less than ' worth reading /touching/ excellent !!

    What you have described here is something that happens to all at some point or another. It is how we react to it ?! Like you said, people take me for granted too most of the times !

    For instance, I taught my kids to be polite , considerate, and 'give'. But now that my son is 13, I wonder, did I do the right thing ? It is already in his genes too, cause my dd is not so much like him. If he were sent to buy something , I could see from my car, he would give way to people from behind the queque, and it could take quite a while for him to get done. I have a cousin who taught his ds to not tolerate any insult or misbehaviour or wrongs ! And that boy doesn't hesitate to leap back, sometimes even when he may not be right, he hits back any kid does anything to him. Now which is the right thing to teach kids ??!! I wonder!!

    I very much agree with your last lines . You have to reciprocate, where necessary, to keep intact your dignity /respect !! You may lose your patience, when it comes to protecting yourself !

    Nice writing !!
     
  10. Richa_05

    Richa_05 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Anaamika,
    Thank you so much for your encouraging words of appreciation.

    I just couldn't stop myself from writing about my experience, it had to be shared and I did and am happy that I did cause all of us, at some stage of our lives have experienced something similar.

    I can very well relate to your feelings as a mother when your son is always courteous to others' needs and feelings. I have a similar problem too........nowadays, yes! it's a problem to be very polite. My son, all of 10 yrs is very considerate and helpful at all times. Well, isn't his fault........he's been taught to be so. But now I worry and have started lecturing him about the practical nuances of life. I hope our kids do learn a thing or two from experiences (which I hope won't be too harsh) that come their way as and when it's meant to be.......take care.
     

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