1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

superb engilsh :)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by lavii, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette...? "

    ************************************************** *******************

    Class teacher once said :

    " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"



    *******************************************



    once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."



    *******************************************



    "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."



    *******************************************



    dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....



    *******************************************



    it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

    " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)



    *******************************************



    teacher in a furious mood...

    write down ur name and father of ur name!!



    *******************************************





    "shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"



    *******************************************



    My manager started like this

    "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"





    *******************************************



    "I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board



    *******************************************



    "will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"



    ****************************** *************



    LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"



    *******************************************



    Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...

    "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"



    *******************************************



    Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father



    *******************************************



    "why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"



    *******************************************



    Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

    "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??



    ********************************************



    Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

    "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
     
    Loading...

  2. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,489
    Likes Received:
    2,030
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Lavii:
    These are really funny....my fav was the one about the monkeys. Our hillbillies here are famous for their annihilation of the English language and I remembered the old hillbilly medical dictionary so I am posting for your enjoyment:

    Artery: The study of paintings.
    Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria.
    Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
    Benign: What you be after you be eight.
    BOwel: A letter like a. E. I. O. U.
    Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome.
    Cat Scan: Searching for kitty.
    Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
    Colic: A sheep dog.
    Coma: A punctuation mark.
    D & C: Where Washington is.
    Dilate: To live longer.
    Enema: Not a friend.
    Fester: Quicker.
    Fibula: A small lie.
    Genital: Non-Jewish person.
    G.I. Series: <sup>1</sup>A soldier ball game. <sup>2</sup>World Series of military baseball.
    Hangnail: Coat hook.
    Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
    Labour pain: Getting hurt at work.
    Medical Staff: Doctor's cane.
    Morbid: A higher offer.
    Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
    Node: Aware of.
    Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
    Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
    Pelvis: A relative of Elvis.
    Post Operative: A letter carrier.
    Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
    Rectum: Dang near killed 'em.
    Secretion: Hiding something.
    Seizure: Roman Emperor.
    Tablet: A small table.
    Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
    Tumor: More than one.
    Urine: Opposite of "You're out."
    Varicose: Nearby.
    Vein: Conceited.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2010
  3. sightpress

    sightpress Guest

    lol those are funny
    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">
     
  4. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,502
    Likes Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    tashidelek2002
    thanks for sharing them loved em
     
  5. sharanyadevi

    sharanyadevi Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    118
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Very funny..:rotfl
    Thank you Lavii had a good laugh after reading...
     
  6. ILoveTulips

    ILoveTulips IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,610
    Likes Received:
    5,353
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    very funnyy...thank u for sharing:)
     
  7. gopinath

    gopinath Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Male
    really superb english:thumbsup
     

Share This Page