Sulking....

loneme · Oct 11, 2012

Hi friends...

I had been a quiet and simple girl when young and by the time I completed my college, I was bubbly, over enthutiastic, ambitious and very friendly person. But again, this did not last long. I got married and my MIL took away every drop of spirit out of me. She killed all my confidence. She criticised all the people except her sisters, her mother and few of her idiotic friends. Even my husband being an introverted person did not entertain much friends or relatives to our home. I was only supposed to wear only sarees (only now i wear very conventional chuddidars) and any kind of make-up would be followed by nasty comments from in-laws. After child birth, I put on lot of weight and lost whatever confidence left in me. Then, we had few neighbours who had fun watching me suffer and spread lot of rumours about me.

Now, after 10 years to marriage, the problem has worsened. Now we live in much better society and in-laws have lessened controlling me. But now I cant make friends anymore. Most of the time, I shy away from people, crowd, functions and parties. Now my husband wants me to wear modern clothes, be open to people....which I am not able to.... I am just busy with my household work, my freelance job and children's studies. I have lost interest in having intimate relation with husband as now I feel I look older to him. People think me to be in 40s when I in reality, I am in start of 30s.

What do I do? I am totally depressed

dikshisma · Oct 11, 2012

hey there!

buddy you are not the only one suffering this kind of humiliated life. i use to be the same kind .....i mean friendly ,extrovert kind. I would love to go outside and have some life back too but here's the difference in our story in yours it was just the In-laws in my case its my hubby who always scrutinizes me and have successfully changed me into a nobody from an attractive lady....icing on the cake is now with no cofidence at all he want me to work and study. your at least are in a BETTER POSITION AS YOU RESISTED FOR 10 LONG YEARS WHICH SHOWS THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING SO GRAB ALL YOU HAVE AND FIX IT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I CAN ONLY WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK FROM MY SIDE AS WELL coz I gave Hope in just 3 years and one little angel.

so best of luck and take back what you deserve and make them realise their deed....

take care
bye

insha · Oct 12, 2012

Now that you have realised that you are not able to change yourself ,take it very slow..First start experimenting with your dressing,this will boost your confidence to a great extent.Slowly buy some new kinds of clothes which you didnt wear till now.I dont mean very modern ones,but if you are wearing salwars now,get them stitched in some new ways like tieing a knot behind or desinging it differently.

Slowly you would start feeling the need to experiment more..Now that your DH has chnaged make use of this opportunity.Not for your DH or your changed lifestyle,just for yourself...It is very natural that 10 yrs of constant critisism has blowed down your confidence,nevertheless ,remember this is not the real 'YOU'.

Even now after freedom if you still be very conservative,then you would be in self desinged prison.Why do want that???So think and slowly change yourself for You....Good luck...

maroon · Oct 12, 2012

Dear friend, if you are over-weight that does not mean you should not dress up well. Being presentable and having a cheerful disposition is all that it takes to make you feel good and confident about yourself. As a first step, do whatever it takes for you to get this feel-good factor in you (in my opinion it should be to revamp your wardrobe and start dressing up better, by the day). Rest will follow. Please remember that not everyone that you see is slim and fair and beautiful, yet they are happy in life. As a weird coincidence, I have seen many ladies who are dark/obese and not so good looking but are full of confidence and life and have an enviable number of friends. Its all in your mind dear. Take up the challenge and just develop a better positive outlook towards life.