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suggestions plz,to change the life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vivbass, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    Dear all,iam writing this on behalf of my friend.
    she got married 4 yrs back,she don't have fil,he passed away 20yrs back. the main probs is with mil. what she did was she won't allow her son to go alone with my friend. by god's grace she was pregnant,for that reason her mil told her sil is not having kid so u abort the child,my friend said no,becoz of that her mil gave her lots of works so that it'll get miscarriage,but by god's grace she gave birth to baby boy. while her pregnancy he beat her,scold infront of all,becoz of her mil,she'll cry & make a drama & told her son to beat. like this she faced a lot.
    b4 marriage her eyesight was poor,so she told her hubby abt this,that time he said no dear i'll b with u life long i'll take care of u,but after marriage they started scloding & teasing her for her eyesight,after 6' pm she can't go outside alone. then what happened was he left her in her parents house,becoz of his bussiness lose he told her to stay with her parents,till now my friend don't know where he went. her mil went to her sil's place. thro my friend's hubby's relatives they got to know all r in mumbai,but relatives r not giving address.
    my friend didn't finish her graduation,her hubby told i did my graduate so u left ur studies.so left her studies also.
    now coming to the point,anything can b done for her future??:-( her eyesight is very poor,getting worser than b4,she don't have any educational qualification. her brother's r scolding her dialy,now she is in hell,her parents r very old so they can't help her out instead of crying & scolding her. i really donno what to do??? her son is now 21/2 yrs old. they r low middle class people.
    so plz friends tell something useful for her future.:idontgetit:
    eagerly waiting for all ur replies.
    thanx.
     
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  2. Mythraeyi

    Mythraeyi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    It is really sad to hear the predicament your friend is in. I think she should try to get a divorce so the husband will be legally obliged to pay her alimony and / or child support. With a court order, his relatives have to give the address of the husband / mil. Despite her poor eyesight she should try to get some vocational training. I think the government has programs for visually challenged people and gives preference to them for certain businesses (like STD booths etc). The local employment office may be able to provide more details. As she has a young child, she should be financially independent to provide for him. I understand it is challenging and I wish her all the best.

    Mythraeyi
     
  3. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    DEar mythraeyi,
    thanx for ur reply,letz hope for the best.
    they don't want to give police complaint or divorce,she said itz all her fate,let god to lead her. some stupid dialogues she is telling. as she don't have anyone to go along with her,her brother r teasing her ,becoz of her they r unable to marry,
    what to do???:-(
     
  4. mithili

    mithili New IL'ite

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    hai!
    it is better she consult women development agencies...and companies who can help her earn her own bread ...they give her some trainign which she picks up and get herself self employed...they may charge reasonable but it worth while...save our souls community also is there....please ask her to consult them for her upliftment..there are lots in hyderabad if u can help her get the addresses thru the net then she will be helped by u as well...meanwhile i shall try to pick up some as well....regarding hubby i feel he must have remarried...it is better she gets some employment for herself making her heart brave and strong.....
    best wishes,...
     
  5. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    thanx mithilli for ur suggestion,i'll try my level best,atpresent iam in chennai. so i can help her a little bit.
     
  6. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    anyone plz suggest me any site who helps like this women:idontgetit: where i can search.
     
  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi vivbass...

    Ask your friend to cheer up first...look out positive...she has a great friend in you so why is she talking about fate and all...

    First let her get a proper opinion from doctors about the problem in her eye...there are lot of eyecamps that run in chennai...if not sankara netralaya also aids few cases... since you mentioned she is poor...

    there are lot of ngo's that can help her out if she is willing... Tell her to be brave and also ask her what she wants....if she wants a divorce and knows how to tackle life later...she can take the first step immediately by going to women's protection cell.....or she can first equip herself and then take the decision later.....

    if she feels she cannot manage..then she cannot...if she thinks she can do...she can.......I think there is an il roopapadia from pune who is willing to helps people like her...

    she has mentioned this in one of the posts....

    your friend has to take the first step...
     
  8. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    Dear shanthi, thanx for ur reply.
    iam trying out what r the possibilities.
    thanx for pointing out the roopadadia's name.
     
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi vivbass,

    You are welcome.
     
  10. pia123

    pia123 New IL'ite

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    Dear vivbass
    The first thing you can tech her as a friend is self-confidence. Yes, everything is working against her, incl. her own eyesight, we cannot domuch about it. the onlky thing right now she can help herself is to gather courage and confidence, boost up her faith for her son's sake. It is hard, but she has to do it for her and her son. Talk to her about blind people, if they have any hope, confidence and faith, your friend can do much better, right??. Explain to her to motivate her.

    Second thing is I'll go with Mithrayei and Mithili's suggestions. The husband definitely needs to pay Alimony and child support, irrespective, or else the family can threaten them to lodge a police complaint. And there are so many institutions to help out women in these situations.

    God bless you Vivbass, for taking so much interest in your friend's life. In this day and age, where even family is not ready to help due to very many reasons some genuine and rest not, you are standing up for your friend and ready to give a helping hand. Three cheers for you and god will definitely reward you for all you good deeds. My prayers for your friend and her son for their well being.

    regards
    pia

    If I can find out any website, I'll sure will let you know.
     

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