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Suggestions/etiquettes Of Meeting Long-long Distanced Relations In The Usa

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by nuss, Apr 20, 2021.

  1. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    desi ? I think over-giving (of stuff, self, time, etc..) can signal being too eager in any culture -- sometimes even the stronger word "needy" might get applied. The pandemic lockdowns may have made us a little different.
    A native daughter using the word Buaji raises questions.... doesn't it?
     
  2. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    I think a nice birthday gift should
    Suffice in this scenario. A gift for the couple would be a bit too much, esp since this is an invite for birthday party. Gift for the couple can be done, maybe at another time when you meet them at their home. Personally for me, gifts should be given to adult people who are close or for an occasion, otherwise the receiver of the gift may feel indebted or uncomfortable receiving such gifts, maybe thats just my feeling on the receivers’ end. No reason needed to buy gifts for children.
     
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  3. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    I think giving a birthcard with gift or amazon card ( so that every one can use it) is enough, especially if the party is in another location.

    I dont think seperate gifts are needed. If you are going to their home for the first time, may be flowers/ flowering plant in a pot/ chocolate in a box are good options to consider.
     
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  4. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    yeah. my views changed when I met my professor and her colleagues:blush:!
    I would prefer to take a boxed gift, (for the kid) and a card, for no particular reason.
     
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  5. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you all! @GoneGirl yes, I feel uncomfortable accepting gifts and that’s why was in dilemma.

    Thank you @DDream! We are in the same city. Not too far and I am planning to go by myself for a little while (party is at 2 pm on a week day so my kids will be in school anyway). My thoughts were to get a birthday present and a gift card but I think I would go with a nice present.
    @Angela123 - thank you! Much appreciated!

    @Hopikrishnan - it can be interpreted in many ways. However, neither of us are being needy. It’s quite normal to call masi or Buaji in my community and desi kids born in America follow whatever family tells them. If we were needy, we would have jumped at the first opportunity to meet each other.
     
  6. Grantre

    Grantre Senior IL'ite

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    This is a really interesting thread. I had a fun time reading this.
     
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  7. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for reading!
     
  8. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you again, everyone! I decided to take a present for the baby only.

    I went to the birthday celebration yesterday. I thought about staying for 15-20 minutes but ended up being there for over an hour. I am so glad I went. The hostess was extremely nice and I learned that her husband hasn't made it to the USA yet because of the immigration delays. So, she has been a single parent. Her mom is staying with her to help raise the baby. It was nice to talk to her about the school, her work at the restaurant (she is working part-time at the restaurant where the party was), being stuck during the pandemic and not able to visit her husband, etc. It was nice talking to her mom despite the language barrier (I can understand and speak Punjabi but their dialect was a bit hard to understand).
     

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