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Success Stories Anyone?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by infinitehopes, Feb 17, 2009.

Did suggestions given to you by other ILites help you solve the problem?

Poll closed Mar 19, 2009.
  1. Yes

    20 vote(s)
    90.9%
  2. No

    2 vote(s)
    9.1%
  1. infinitehopes

    infinitehopes Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Chocolate,

    Yes.. I had seen your responses to other posts and kind of understood your story. But thank you for putting it here for better understanding.

    I definitely admire your courage. I feel, it takes a lot of guts to call police to compain about someone within the family. Its a very fine line when "its ok" changes to "its not ok".. Many people cannot do that transition but you did it successfully.

    I am sure the support extended by ILites must have helped and thats another reason you are so willing to help everyone who posts a problem here.. because you know helping through IL community helps!!

    Thanks again for posting. This experience must have made you a lot wiser in a moment but I am sure one day you will be able to forget this entire episode and lead a very happy and fulfilling life.

    My best wishes for you!
     
  2. infinitehopes

    infinitehopes Bronze IL'ite

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    Today's Poll Results
    Yes - 10
    No - 1
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks. We shud toughen our hearts to teach somebody its not okay to be barbaric.Here it was from my husband to inlaws the whole clan.I couldnt have done it without all the ladies help here.Thank you very much ladies.
     
  4. depressed

    depressed Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Friends,

    [ Re-posting from my thread- "THANK YOU INDUSLADIES!!!"- as suggested by fellow ILite Infinitehopes. ]


    IndusLadies has been like a true friend, my pillar of strength ! Two things I would like to share here-

    1. When I joined this forum, I felt for the first time that I AM NOT ALONE. I have many friends in IL who are eager to share, discuss and empathize with me and give the required solutions whenever necessary. The esteemed members of IL have also gone through a lot of trouble in their married life and therefore, I feel I AM NOT ALONE. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS ILL-TREATED by in-laws/SOCIETY. So, I felt a bonding with my IL sisters, got assurances...AND ABOVE ALL- FELT THAT I BELONGED TO A GROUP OF LIKE MINDED PEOPLE. THIS SENSE OF BELONGINGNESS compels me to log in to IndusLadies day after day, month after month.

    2. IndusLadies has given me AN INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY [rather, it made me aware that I have an individual identity apart from being a wife or a DIL]. I feel proud today because of IndusLadies. If Marriage has given me a social identity and supressed my freedom ,then IndusLadies has given me an Individual Identity and lots of freedom. I CAN BE "ME" at IndusLadies. I DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND HERE. I AM IN MY TRUEST AND HAPPIEST SELF in IndusLadies.


    Thanks,

    HAPPY
     
  5. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    chocolate.. great.. and i wish you from my heart that your hubb shd remain this way always. take care..

     
  6. infinitehopes

    infinitehopes Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,

    I am sure there are more stories.
    But if this thread is making you uncomfortable by remembering your past, then I do understand.

    But whoever is ok to share and is enjoying the fruits of success, please do share your story.

    There is one response - "No".
    Whoever it is, Can you please share your experience? If the suggestions given by ILites didn't help you, did it worsen the situation? How are you now?

    I am really looking forward to hearing stories from you all!
     
  7. Sunshine123

    Sunshine123 New IL'ite

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    Hi Infinite Hopes

    I have greatly benefitted from the responses that i received in Indusladies. My marriage went through very tough times....and i was in a situation where i could not even share my problems with even my sisters or parents......that's when i landed in Indusladies, and the counselling that i received from Soaring Spirit and the others had greatly benefitted me. It might not have changed the situation drastically, but their advises gave me great emotional strength to see me through tough times. I really cannot imagine what i would have done with my life had i not got the right and timely advise grom IL. I am forever grateful to this site for helping thousands of women like me. Its great to sometimes just write your problem here without the fear of being judged or critisied and yet at the same time benefitting from the advises of wonderful and mature women. It changed my outlook towards life a lot.........and reading all the wonderful advises here, i feel enlightened, mature and a more stable person emotionally than what i was before i bumped into this site.

    So.......all the wonderful counsellors here, thankyou for the great job you ladies do......believe me YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO LOTS OF LIVES!!!
     
  8. infinitehopes

    infinitehopes Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Sunshine,
    Thank you for posting your story.
    I am sure ILites have been your strength during tough times. I feel the best part is they have been doing it so unconditionally!

    Sunshine has entered your life and its there to stay!
    Cheers!
     
  9. arthidiva

    arthidiva Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have note really posted any threads in this forums, but I have replied to few. I am a new member and have been browsing these forums most of the time for nearly 2 weeks now. For past 2 days I have been thinking of how this forum has improved my life. Thought we dont have big problems in life, we have arguments and fights once in a while that only we both know of, none in our families would believe that we could also fight.

    To start with, I am very close to my DH and we are the best of friends. We do have our arguments and fights sometimes, but even if there is no problem, his small reactions to me or his reaction-lessness to my talks irritates me and I make sure I irritate him equally and may be sometimes nagg him too (I swore to myself when I got married that I shouldn't be one of those nagging wives) :) After a big fight, he would ask me, what happened in the first place? I wouldn't remember a thing but I would blame him for whatever it was.. ofcourse these fights fade away in minutes and we are back together laughing. but I guess that hurt will be in his heart somewhere. Guess what? these days I am so tolerating.. after reading these problems posted here and the way senior member in this forum react to it and their perspective has given me a new way of life. Even if something at home irritates me or he doesnt react to me in a situation the way I expect him to, I just ignore it and move on to the next thing. Here is an example of ILites have changed my life, actually made my life even easier to live (I love this phrase now).

    Yesterday he called me in the evening when I was still at work and said he is going to another branch of his office, I said 'ok - meet you at home' assuming he has some meeting there. I went home and was waiting to have dinner with him. I was not too late, when he entered the house, It just struck me that he would have had dinner with his colleagues, but he neve said a thing to me. In such situations I raise it as an issue saying he had lied to me and have a long face (though no one else at home would realise the tension between us). I will bluntly say to him that he had lied to me. even if starts giving explanation, I would keep repeating that he lied until he admits it. usually by the time he admits, he would get angry becos I would say with a long face that he lied to me. He gets angry becos we never lie to each other so he would get offended saying he was going to tell me when he is back home. So if he gets angry, I cant stand it and I would cry at the end of the fight. Last night nothing of this sort happened :))))))

    To my surprise I handled it so well - as soon as he entered, I started making dinner, he signalled to me (my in-laws were around) that he doesnt want anything. I started smiling (I was furious from inside) without my knowledge (uhh that helped) and asked him to come near me and slowly asked, where did u go for dinner. He started laughing the way I asked. then I asked him politely why he had not told me becos he usually tell me everything (didnt offend him). He genuinly said it was not planned, he had a meeting at work where he met his friends and they planned to have light dinner at a nearby restaurant. Then I said (with a smile) that he never used to hide or lie to me, so expected that he tells me when going for dinner. He noded. Then thru my dinner, he was sitting next to me and telling me what all happened that evening at dinner. I was happy it ended without hurt but the message was passed. My god imagine if I handle all situation like this. Life will be so beautiful.

    A big thanks to you ILite members for highlighting many important things in life and how to live it better. I could even ask my sisters or mother for such advicesbut it is never like discussing frankly to you women out here who give out your expereinces without any prejudice. UMMMUUAAHHH.. Just love you ladies.
     
    Drpreethis likes this.
  10. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Arthi ,

    All that my mind said as I finished reading your post.. AWESOME !!!

    I have always wanted to post on this thread but had too many things to do everytime.. ( Sorry, IH !! )

    It is soo good to read that one incident that happened to you .. how much one can understand. it takes a big deal to accept your negativities ! And look at you !!! You have whole heartedly said everything.. :) Changing ones attitude for good just for the sake of keeping the relationship alive is such a wonderful thing !!! :) Best Luck to you, Wise Girl !!! :thumbsup

    I agree with every word you have said in general ..
    I felt the same when I joined IL last year.. I really didnt have any trouble with this man in my life.. But few things.. which I could probably say that could mean to me and that could nourish my relationship .. I did start to say after I joned this community. Not that any posts were on the smae lines and provoked me.. But it was simply that I felt I should !
    Sometimes.. my replies to members made me understand a lott about my thinking too ! I seldom thought on those lines before .. :)
    IL made me realise that I was helpful deep down my heart and had an instinct !! Imagine a Dentist in her own little world in one part of Bangalore had to come to an alien country to make friends from all over the world and also back in her home city !! :)

    I get goosebumps as I write this.. :) Thanx for kindling this out of me, Arthi !! :)

    IH ,

    I just have one big success story in my life.. This community changed the way I look at life too !! I couldnt ask for anything else !!!
    Thanx to everyone here !!! :cheers
     

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