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Struggle With Past Issues!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Tryinghard2013, Jul 13, 2021.

  1. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    I want to share with you the struggle I am going through in my marriage. Blessed with kids, careers, etc it has been more than a decade of living together. Fights, quarrels, struggles, patch up, love , care etc etc like any other couple I guess. Outside everything is ok and inside as well. But I think my partner has too much built in spite and never ending past transgressions by me stored in his mind. They don’t come out every moment. But as soon as we have a slightest agreement, I come to know the toxins he is carrying for me. I have also been a supportive partner and so much that we have today is built on my good decisions and sensible ideas. But everything goes out the window and out comes how I am impossible, controlling, bossy, never got along with his side of family, have no respect etc etc. he has anger issues, has a foul mouth whenever we fight, doesn’t have too many good relationships but somehow I am the vamp. He won’t forget the slightest errors and discretions on my part but assumes he has been a saint. This leads to difference in views and overall silent treatment between us as there is is only so much you can fight about. I don’t want to start fighting about everything in the past as what new will happen. Maybe it will lead to further Damage and heartbreak. He won’t start understanding or appreciating me. I don’t know how to handle this and he won’t be open to counseling. I am not sure how to go about this now. Any help, any suggestions etc?
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2021
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  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Then, don't have that, whatever it is, that pushes the replay button.
     
  3. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Better not to engage him much especially when he is angry. Convey things later. I know anger is his problem, but this approach can save head aches. If he does not value you, and leaving marriage is not an option, then find ways to focus on improving yourself and your life. Bring positivity and self love to your life. Dont chase him or pleade to him.

    Recent post may help you
    Do's And Don'ts Of Married Life
     
  4. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Focus on yourself and kids..Live a positive and fulfilling life without expecting anything (good relation) from him.Bcoz people only understand from their own perspective how much ever u explain them. I think he is in condtant touch with his side of people who constantly remind him thd past issues and u not getting along with them. Ignore him . Thatz the only thing u can do.
     

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