Stress in Married Life due to MIL

Hi friends, things have been bad between my DH and me for past few days and there have been petty fights coz of one and only my great MIL!
Her cheap tactics of cribbing and giving justification to my DH that why she is angry with me (for the mistakes I do and don't listen to her) just never stop, and she is blaming me for the fights she has with her son (my DH)! :rant

I ignore her and do things as she says but she has issues that I don't learn to cook fast! Her issue is that I cook but I am slow and I should be fast in cooking and take care of home fast rather than spending long time in things like cooking and cleaning! Her idea is that I should learn to be efficient and even after almost 2 yrs of marriage I am inefficient and when she tells me to improve, I don't listen and ignore her wisdom which is for my benefit and improve my life and her DS's life! :drowning

So she goes on with lectures on cooking, cleaning, house management, finances, how to be popular and get respect from people by show off and wearing heavy outfits and jewellery (as usual her nagging lectures ) and I ignore them! So, she shows a miserable and unhappy face before my DH and more over she will say that since I don't learn how to cook and manage house, she needs to do it and her health doesn't allow that (on weekends I clean the house before the maid comes, take care of things as much as I can but I can't meet MILs' unrealistic expectations)! (She won't let me keep a full-time maid and expects me to be one by saying "u can't manage home with work. We don't need money from u, so if u find it hard leave the job." I wanna tell her that I clean, cook, take care of things as u say but still u have issues coz u feel u r perfect! After 25 yrs I can also say I am perfect but it doesn't mean I will utter nonsense to a person who has learnt cooking just 2 years back!
Yes, these days she is picking on my career. Before my present job, I was working in a different city and shifted to my DH's town with the present job offer which paid somewhat less than my previous job and still my raise gives me less than my past salary. As I wanted to work, my DH asked me to take this and find something else if I get one. But as of now I am not getting relevant work offers. I got one recently but my MIL had issues that I was getting only sunday off and I was required to travel for 5 hrs a day. I dropped that job offer. But still my MIL is picking on me that I am not starting my family and not even doing well in my career. DH told her that she (me) was getting a good work offer but it will stressful for her so she refused. Still MIL has issues about my career. She wants show off that her DIL is earning lots and managing home so well n blah blah. She keeps telling that I should either find a good job if I am not happy with this or leave this and have family, take a break for few years and then start again! :spin

She bugs my DH on this family issue, my cooking and house management skills that I am not learning from her and don't respect her, tend to be rude. don't know how to act and behave well (she feels her daughter is the best DIL in this world and I should learn how to talk, act, think, behave from my SIL!)
My DH gets irritated with MIL's cribbing and tells her not to do over-thinking and over-talking! She gets furious and blames me that I am saying things against her to my DH and I am spoiling their relation getting benefit from their fights! These fights have happened between MIL and DH over this week.
And to make things worse, he tells me that why don't u listen to my mother as she says, why don't u learn from her. For her home is priority and if u can't manage home like she expects with work, then leave work! We had a good argument on this and he was like you are always complaining and cribbing, u don't take care of the house, ur career and my mother! I got very angry and told him that I am fed up of his mom's nonsense and I won't leave my job as I can't stay with his mother at homeand put up with her nonsense talk all day!
Now we ain't talking for past 2 days except formally and my MIL's lectures to me and complaints to my DH are going on. I so wanna tell her that if she wants to spoil our married life then she should tell us to separate!
I am so furious with this everyday nonsense at home which is happening over the past few days! MIL wants to control everything about my life, my friend circle (she feels my friends will teach me to be a bad DIL), she won't let me go to home (coz MIL needs to take care of my SIL, her delivery and I should be at home and take care of house, get it cleaned from maid and be a maid too and cook for my DH and do all other things required for my SIL).
I am feeling so frustrated, what should I do now!!!! :drowning

 

Yes, he is sensible, but what to do when he also gets bugged like me and we both end up fighting with each other coz of MIL! Witsend
How to avoid this? She bugs him and tries to control me and it affects our married life! :rant

 

Ya, I know I can't keep my MIL happy by giving in to her ways all the time and I don't do that, this is what bothers her!

 

My MIL is retarded for sure and she has made my DH one for the time being!
My DH doesn't want me leave work as such. Right now my MIL bugs him everyday about me and nags me too, so we are fighting coz of MIL.

 

He says this to my MIL that after 25 years she (me) will be also an expert homemaker and she says no no, she can improve, I have made my daughter perfect like this (my SIL)! She says when she (me) takes training in office for work, why does not she learn house management and cooking fast!
I learnt cooking and I do take care of house but not as per her expectations and according to her I am inefficient in house management and slow in cooking! That crazy woman wants to improve me with her lectures and spoils our married life by emotionally blackmailing her son!
mg: