Stress Because Of 4 Yr Old

sanjuruby3 · Mar 17, 2023 at 8:43 PM

my son 4 years goes to preschool 3 days. Rest 2 days he makes our life horrible. I feel like my health is deteriorating, we fight a lot. He gets up with phone, does not do anything till 11 am. I am the only who keep yelling to brush or try to feed but he keeps glued to phone.

this is almost everyday storey so for a 4 years old it is 2-3 hrs in the morning, then later afternoon and once sister comes. It is mininum> 1 hr phone/tv each time.

He has become really stubborn and cry till he breaks or till he gets, and really annoying, not scared of anything. His dad is the weak one and gives us up before putting up fight. Either this way or that way, or he himself will scream like hell and say all the bad words he should not.

" i will kill you' , will lock u, will cut you...

Now, i am really into full time daycare but problem is i do not like his daycare.
Almost every 2 weeks, they will close the daycare or classroom last minute. They have shortages and teachers problems. No one stays more than a month. also there were other problems with teachers. It is not cheap daycare. Infact most expensive one in the area i know.. compared to that services are very poor. Our reason was- near house and also only daycare that we could find.
I am not able to find spot in any other day care with in 5-6 miles.

So I am not sure how to deal now.

Thoughtful · Mar 17, 2023 at 9:51 PM

Not sure if you read the responses for your thread from last time. If so, you can share on what you did since then and now:

Son Pressing All My Buttons

sanjuruby3 · Mar 17, 2023 at 11:20 PM

Thoughtful said: ↑

Not sure if you read the responses for your thread from last time. If so, you can share on what you did since then and now:

Son Pressing All My Buttons
Click to expand...

Yes I do. It is just when again situation happens, and sometimes, i am on verge on crying, ..when everyone all forces feel are against me, i come here to write.

sharing what i have done is -
definitely trying to set my foot down but thats where me and H are at crossroads. I do not think situ ever got better but worse for sure as he is growing up.
Now that i am ready to take action, send him to school i do not see any options or baby sitters.
I know no one can help me. it is just like talking to your mother who just can listen, probably speak some kind words , give some suggestions, and some may work, some not ...

vidukarth · Mar 18, 2023 at 2:51 AM

My first suggestion is try to put the device he is using in airplane mode, that way he cannot get to internet or youtube. Do this on all the device he is using. Initially there will be resentment and tantrums, but don't give in if he cries. He will eventually give up and do something else. When he does something other than watching phone, appreciate him and applaud him and say how proud you are. It will boost his morale and confidence and will try to do that more as he is being appreciated.

gamma50g · Mar 18, 2023 at 5:11 AM

I haven't read any of your previous posts so my reply to you is based on this post.

Is there a possibility that you just take your son to a nearby park so that he can play to his heart's content and expend all his energy and become exhausted enough to come home shower and take a nap? All this while you sit at a nearby bench and continue your work. Don't even insist he has to brush in the morning or try to feed him breakfast. Just pack something for him to give at the park once he himself gets hungry and asks for it.

I think he is doing this because he is bored, full of energy and wants attention on the days he is home. If either of you are going in to work everyday, you can try checking out daycares near either of your work places all the 5 days a week till a spot becomes available near your home.

Either ways, he needs to expend his energy into doing something useful than watching screen. I have one more suggestion to engage him if he has to stay home 2x a week. Can you and your husband pique his interest in Legos? Try sitting with him and lego Set. He doesnt need to know how to read but you can show him pictures and ask him to find pieces and build it himself. They love building things at this age. Praise him for doing it right. Start with smaller sets. Take him to a lego store and let him choose the set he wants to build. Once he gets hooked on legos, nothing you say or do can pull him away from it.

After doing countless Lego sets with my son and daughter, I find it to be destressing for me as well. While my daughter started on legos late because we both were not much aware about legos, my son started right about 4. He is 5 now and does complex sets by himself with much ease. My home is now a tribute to legos with an entire room dedicated to it . Its an expensive hobby but well worth every $ spent if it will keep them away from screen IMO.

Finally, take a deep breath, vow to take each day as it comes. Kids are made to push all our buttons all at once !! Hang in there. Things will only get better from here

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