Stray Thoughts

Kamalji · Nov 20, 2007

Stray Thoughts

There were no news papers for 2 days during Diwali, and i was like bored.They are to me like Boost is to Sachin Tendulkar.They give interesting Titbits,but these days they give more Tits and less Bits.I stopped reading Stardust and Filmfare long ago, as i realised newpapers give u more spicy info than them.I dont care who is the latest in whose life.This week has had a lots of interesting info in the papers,and I would like to share some with u.So here goes.

Bus Crashes into parked Plane - A Jet Airways Bus, which is supposed to cruise at 15 kms speed, crashed into a Deccan airways plane parked at Delhi Airport,causing extensive damages, and it will take 6 months to repair.

My comments - First i heard about the monkey at Delhi airport, who used to steal food from the passengers,then the stray dogs at the airport, then the dead lady a fortnight back, and now this.

Suppose a rival wants to damage his competitors plane.He could tell the bus driver to drink a little and bang his vehicle int the parked plane ? In today's cut throat competition, anything is possible.I could understand an elephant weighing two tonnes bashing the plane, but a bus at 15 kms causing such damages ? And we have the A 380 coming soon to India.

Filmstars Behaviour on Flights - TOI dated 20/11/07 -
Interesting article today.Seems Priyanka was coming from an Awards function abroad along with Hritik and SRK.Both got cosy with her,taking seats next to her turn by turn.Hmmm.

A much married actor had an actress next to him,and doing interesting things, while the wife was watching the clouds in the window seat.Now who could this fellow be.
A stewardess opened the loo door,and saw Amitabh standing,and screamed her head off, maybe in excitment.AB told her to calm down, and if she did not say anything about what she saw, he too would keep quiet.

Comments - Now i am curious to know, if AB was standing inside the loo and the lady was outside, the door was not locked,and Ab was doing what we males do standing,then well, the secret must be kept well.HAHA.It was not clarified which side of the door was the air hostess.But what is the excitment all about this old man eh ! Yes i can understand if Hritik or SRK was there, but AB ???

Another married Actor, and an actress were entwined in a blanket, and the airhostess said she freared they would die of Axph or whatever they call it.She said they were so hot, the could send out smoke signals.Wow.

Rishi Kapoor cant get on the flight till he has a few whiskey pegs down,as he is scared.Manoj Kumar used to be very scared of flying in his hey days,so used to travel first class by train, where he used to write his scripts.Rajesh Khanna always takes the first seat,and is most of the time sozzled, hardly anyone recognizes him these days.

But Narayan Murthy takes the cake.He travels Economy class like me.Somebody asked him, why he dosnt travell first class,when he has so much money, and he says, if someone convinces him that the First class passengers will reach the destination 15 mins faster than the Economy passengers, he will then travel first class.Class.

Best is the A 380, the super plane from Airbus.It has a seating capacity of 800 plus, but Singapore Airlines has custome ordered one for 400 seats.They have 15 bathrooms in the plane, whereby u can take a bath too.And they have bedrooms for the first class passengers, with a curtain.But you are prohibited to make love ,as the airhostesses are moving around.Some passengers have complained, but they say, u can get cosy with yr wife, sorry partner,but well not that thing.Now when u pay so much and cant do that natural job,then the money must be hurting.And what is the level of cosying, may i ask ? Your guess is as good as mine.

How come i have never come across such incidents ? Thats because i travell more in trains than planes.Now i must change my habits to the flying kind.

Wife Feeds Hubby Sweets - Nothing wrong in that is it ? Just that the hubby suspects that she tempts him to eat sweets so he becomes fat , and females dont look at her hubby in that way.Well Well Well.Now i know hiow i have become obese.My wife will bring me icecream near me, and put a spoon in my mouth, that too after i have had my whiskey,and i dont want to change the taste.After i have tasted blood,then i want one more spoon , and then more.Now i know why even women in their 40's call me Uncle.All thanks to my wife.

Monkeys and Dogs - HT-19/11/07 - page 7

In Guwahati, about 90 stray dogs chase the morning walking legislators in the MLA Quaters.And monkeys have taken a fancy to the mobiles of these guys.And they enter the MLA's houses , open the fridge, and drink Coke from the bottles.And when the ladies shoo away the monkey, they turn and slap the ladies.And they love tootpaste too,taking it away.The brand was not specified .All complaints have fallen on deaf years.And when the MLA's walk into the assembly, many a times they have stepped on the poo of the dogs,firs thing in the morning.Ram Ram.What a way to start yr day.

I think monkeys are getting techno savvy, bcs opf their liking for mobiles.Maybe they need to call their friends over the mobile,when they see food, or a pretty monkey female, who knows.After all the monkeys were our forefathers,once upon a time.Now since monkeys drink coke, wont Pepsi guys feel bugged that their rival has the upper hand.Maybe Coke should start Adts saying tht even monkeys love our product !

Manoj Kumar and OSO - HT- 19/11/07 - page 8

Interesting article about MK's rant over OSO.That was the funniest scene in the movie.And today's young generation must not be aware that a guy called MK ever existed.These actors can be very sensitive sometimes.MK should be glad he is being remembered once again in a top movie.HAHA.I missed the TV interview,which i am sure must have been hilarious going by the reports that i read.

Top Doctors Turning into Tourist Guides - HT - 18/11/07 - page 6

The gap between hospitals and hotels is narrowing by the day,thanks to the rise in the number of over seas patients at high end hospitals in Delhi.A top Doctor says
" When an Omani Minister came for treatment, we sent 3 chefs to the Omani Embassy for 3 days to be trained in authenic Omani Cusine.

Comments - The doctors discharge the patients fast,so that more beds are free for other patients.they are hiring small hotels closeby, which are converted to post care rooms, where the docs can go and check up on the patients progress.

And doctors are even recommending particular hotels in different cities, in case the patients go sightseeing.I have even read of hospitals now tieing up with top restaurants for food for patients.Patients are being given menu cards, and can order what they want,of course paying thru their nose,rather than eating drab hospital food.What other needs of the patients will the doctors cater to, I wonder.

Buy me Love Honey - TOI - Sunday dt.18/11/07 - Magazine Section

When a man loves a Woman,it shows and how ! Mukesh Ambani gifted his wife with a 242 crore plane, and now on her 45th birthday a 4000 crore, 27 storey building for a family of 6 ( I did not know Mukesh had 4 kids).

Tom Cruise reportedly gave his wife Katie $ 20 million customised Gulf stream jet( thats 80 crores, peanuts compared to our Mukeshbhai).

Akshay Kumar has a penchant of gifting his wife Twinkle solitaires.

And i am so ashamed of myself, i am thinking of committing suicide.I have given nothing to my wife,besides a Maruti Baleno in our 28 years of marriage and a trip to Indonesia recently.God where are you, man.Why this injustice ?Kaise Kaise ko Diya Hai,Mujhe bhi ek Plane Dila De,Biwi ko Ek Solitaire Dila de !

Klum wants a naked Sunday - TOI - page 2 - dt. 19/11/07

Heidi Klum wants to have naked Sundays with husband Seal.Heidi and Seal have 3 children, and now are planning to shift the 11 month old son out of the bedroom to the nanny, as he is spoiling their bedroom romp.Heidi gives a " Sex Timetable" to Seal.She tells the singer where and when to make out.It is like 2 o clock in the in the attic, and 6 o clock in the closet( I never knew one could well do it in such places)

Comments - Do they play hide and seek in these places? How romantic their love life is really.They have love in places we dont even think of,just as some people here eat at places we cant think of, like the bathrooms.Well, we have all kinds.

Ciao,hope havnt bored you enough, so soon will be back with the next installment.Bye.

KAMAL MAHTANI