Strange situation. Need help

piyarustagi · Aug 16, 2012

Hi,
I went back to India for the first time after coming to US in Jan 2012.
It was my sisters wedding.
I bought a lot of gifts for my mother, father, brother and sister but I didn't take anything for my relatives.
Yes, I bought some New York keychain for some cousins and some lipsticks for my grandmother and my aunts (mother's sisters).
My sister took all the lipsticks and makeup stuff which I had bought saying that she needs all of them because she is getting married. So I didn't say anything.
Now, my aunt go upset with me that I didn't give her anything.
She was expecting at least one lipstick.
I donno I felt upset that even tough I had bring some lipsticks for her. I couldnt able to give as my sister secretly took all of them when she got married. I know sisters do like that, even I do like that. I have no complains for her but I'm feeling bad for aunt, that why was she expecting a gift from me? I gave 2 key chains to her sons(20 and 25 years old) and they gave me strange expressions as though they were expecting bigger gifts.
Now, when I came back to US, I feel upset about people's reactions.
Donno if it was my mistake that I didn't take any good gifts for my relatives or my relatives are bad.
I have a big family. How can I buy so many gifts for everybody? I don't like to pretend that I'm rich when I'm not so rich.
Or am I stingy?
Also I donno why I am getting upset with most of my relatives because I feel they are trying to interfere in my life and trying to be sarcastic. Like many people asked me why r u not having kids. Is there a problem?
My nature has become like that I dint feel like taking to my relatives who are always trying to poke their nose in my life.
Whats your take on that?
Thanks in advance.

resmij · Aug 16, 2012

hi!
dear piya , it is not possible to buy every one a gift. dont feel sad for that.ignore what they say.even i faced it.my family is not so big. but husbands is big, and crowded with creepy people. gifs they complain directly and indirectly. luckily i dont get any time to see my relatives. so i havent seen a compalint from them. and till you have a child, relatives do ask- any good news? any good news?.once youn have one they wont bother you.
regards
resmi

ashimasd · Aug 16, 2012

Hey dont take it so seriously and there is nothing to be upset about. Back in my place,in kerala,people not only relatives the whole people living near you who knows you expect you to bring them something. And once I heard a co-passenger in flight saying about it "Somehow I manage to buy everyone bak at my place(read acquaintances other than relatives) atleast a bottle of perfume and they bitch at my back that I would have got it for free from somwhere".:bowdown

insha · Aug 16, 2012

If they are going to feel bad ,let them, because it is firstly not manners to express that they are expecting gifts from you.And you seem to have a reason for not giving them,so dont worry.I feel given this situation if your relatives had been very nice people they should have refrained from reacting for not bring gifts.

meVaidehi · Aug 16, 2012

So you are living in US for work just like others stay in same or different cities in India. How does it make you liable to bring gifts for every one? Top of it some big gift why? Does President Obama give special bonuses to people going to their home countries at airport?
Next time they expect ask them what did they get you from their place now that you are living away? Its ok to expect but not show it just one sided.
You spend for the trip, then gifts, then get things that you would need to take back. Must be exhausting financially. Don't bother. If you really feel, send lipstick to your aunt via courier or online site or something.
Also your sister could have understood that you got so many gifts for her so she should leave a lipstic for aunt.
Vaidehi

piyarustagi · Aug 16, 2012

thank u girls for ur nice responses. I feel good now. I know it's human nature.

maagi11 · Aug 16, 2012

Hi ILs,

Even i am in that situation like piya. But i am planning to go to India in Sep that to for only 4 weeks. Now I am worrying about that. before my plan is announced couple of people already asked that what are you getting for us. I have a big family both sides. How can I satisfy everyone. But my DH says why do u need to send gifts to everyone? is there any rule as such and am not finding any gifts with less money...i am lil worried to go now...

especially there are asking gems/beads, some how they got to know here they are very cheap...but i myself never buy for that me, as i have no idea where we can get

please help me in this.

maagi

Ranchu · Aug 16, 2012

maagi11,

It is there is every family.
Go to dollar shops or try to buy stuff when they are in sale. Or even best, just buy whatever is possible within your budget and give it .

regarding Gems/beads, yes it is pretty cheap here. You can visit some Beads shows or shops in your place.
If you want to get some idea , visit beadsafterbeads.com , this site takes online ordering . I personally have shopped a lot from them and I know its very genuine

maagi11 · Aug 16, 2012

Hi Ranchu,

Even i got to know from my colleague about beadsafterbeads. but can we get any items for $10, as i can't effort more than that. But if we buy will they stay for a while or the color will go. Otherwise they will scold my back.

maagi

Ranchu · Aug 16, 2012

MAagi,

am talking about Jade, Pearls, Amethyst etc.. These are genuine stones and do not change in color.
A strand of pearl ranges from $6 - $10 , depending on size , color etc.
Jade is quite affordable around $4 - $10 .. check out the site.