Strained relations with mom..

Vennella · Apr 10, 2011

Dear riya and sasha,

I am sorry to hear about your problems. I do believe such parents exist in the world. Just because we don't hear about them a lot, we think all parents are good. don't let that affect you. please take care of yourself. i was so surprised and shocked after reading some of your posts and just couldn't believe the sort of "punishments" you had to endure. i must say i really admire your strength. you must be proud of the person you are today in spite of their parenting.

sasha75 · Apr 12, 2011

hi vennela

thnk you for your kind words.

talking about punishments , well i could open a seperate forum just to list them.smetimes i myself wonder how i survived those days and how im still alive.

due to my troubled childhood i still have so many areas in my personality which need improvement.hoping to improve on them in due time.

ilovemyhusband · Apr 20, 2011

riya123 said: ↑

You are right Sasha. People wont understand what i or you would go through. It is very lonely too. People would in fact look at such kids as parent hating monsters. In this very forum itself i have been time and again bashed by some members for not getting along with parents and writing not so good things about my mom. People tend to use that as a weak point as a bashing. It is important to hold on to your self belief and not buy such bashings from people.

I wish you good luck for having your children and surely include you in my prayers. Hope you get lot of happiness in your life..
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I hope you find peace in your lives sasha and riya.It is always considered bad as talking about parents.It's a lonely spot there.I agree.
My mom used to thrash me and my sis with steel plates ,dosa karandi,umbrella with all sorts of things(what ever she finds long and strong) everytime she is with us.becoz she was angry on our father.my sis used to hide behind the locker or hide under the cot telling me not to revel her.god if i think of those days......all i expected is some love when they come home but hey i never got it and i got beatings all the time though i manage finance,buy groceries,eat whatever,take care of my sis and both of our studies,go to the hospital alone blah blah.....but i never had help from my parents when i needed and never will.iam just getting along with my life.may be i have not explained my problem in my previous post well iam not a writer.i really hope that people understand that there is always two sides.:bowdown

shibanikannan · Apr 30, 2011

Hi,

I feel sorry for the situation u r facing. I too have faced the same situation, your mother atleast stop beating in 7th grade, but i used to get the betting till my marriage. After lot of incidents and last year I went across the worst situation, I stopped discussing the things and talking also. Now i think I donot have anybody except my husband and daugher, so my life is quiet good.

So please forgive everything and try to be independent.

shibani

riya123 · May 1, 2011

ilovemyhusband said: ↑

I hope you find peace in your lives sasha and riya.It is always considered bad as talking about parents.It's a lonely spot there.I agree.
My mom used to thrash me and my sis with steel plates ,dosa karandi,umbrella with all sorts of things(what ever she finds long and strong) everytime she is with us.becoz she was angry on our father.my sis used to hide behind the locker or hide under the cot telling me not to revel her.god if i think of those days......all i expected is some love when they come home but hey i never got it and i got beatings all the time though i manage finance,buy groceries,eat whatever,take care of my sis and both of our studies,go to the hospital alone blah blah.....but i never had help from my parents when i needed and never will.
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You have been brave enough to come this far. It is a hurtful past. It is wise to accept the fact that you'd never get the kind of love you yearn for. Now you have a happy family and a good husband, cherish those moments with your husband. Leave the painful past behind and move on with your life. Good luck

shibanikannan said: ↑

Hi,

I feel sorry for the situation u r facing. I too have faced the same situation, your mother atleast stop beating in 7th grade, but i used to get the betting till my marriage. After lot of incidents and last year I went across the worst situation, I stopped discussing the things and talking also. Now i think I donot have anybody except my husband and daugher, so my life is quiet good.

So please forgive everything and try to be independent.

shibani
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Shibani,
You are right, it is better for me and her to forgive and move on. Forgiving was the hardest part. I was controlled to such an extent that even after being pushed back so many times, i kept going back to her, trying to please her in every possible way. I never developed a healthy self esteem, had extremely poor interpersonal skills. I always felt like a lamb living in a slaughter house. Even today, i dont share my happy moments with her fearing she might manipulate and worsen things for me. I have simply lost trust in that relation, which i thought was the purest of all relations.

I wish one day she understands and loves me wholeheartedly as her daughter. That would be the happiest day in my life.

sasha75 · May 1, 2011

Dear ILMH , Shibani & riya

how are you'll doing??

you know physical & verbal abuse is the worst thing that can happen to a person.i feel bad even to hurt an animal, but i dnt understand how educated people esp parents can beat their own children.

but we must be happy and thankful to god that he atleast gave us a good husband. i was just thinking there are so many girls who lived like princess in their parents house and after marriage are treated like dirt by their husband.

i feel we are in a much better place cos with parents its max 25 yrs but with husband its almost double.
i keep thinking this and consoling myself.

And regarding help we should pray that we are never dependent on our parents in anyway be it physically,financially or emotionally.

i only wish one day they realise their mistakes and realise the value of their children.

take care