Story of my evil mom., stillborn son and unfair situation.Help I am losing my mind

My mother has always been crazy. I dont know where to start.
I belong to mumbai. I have 2 older brothers. My mom was quite nice when i was a kid. She made clothes for me,dressed me,made toys for me etc. I used to be able to talk only with her. I was scared to open my mouth in front of dad and strangers. I now look back and understand she broke my self esteem even when i was a child. She had 2 sons and really wanted a daughter, so i dont understand at all.

My mom was very badly treated my my nana nani. At a young age my mom and her sister were made to live with my nani's brothers family and her 3 brothers were sent to usa for education etc. Mom was married off. She once told me she was also sexually abused. Basically all this screwed up her mind forever.
Mom never encouraged me to excel in studies, while she got my brothers books on general kknowlege i was often given startdust magazines to read
My dads a doctor and he always wanted me to do well, to become a doctor etc.
I ruined everything by not studying, giving up, hurting them and then they openly turned against me. They would keep saying i shold be beaten up, my dad would say he hates to even look at my face.
Finally i found my wonderful husband and came to the usa where my 2 older brothers were already living and my life changed. My mom would keep instigating my brothers against me. She would tell them i am a bitch etc. She would blame me for not finding brides for them , for being jealous of them etc.
Whenever i went to india mom used to be upset, she would instigate my dad and brothers. She would tell my bros that i trouble her a lot. Sne would tell my dad things i never said, eg i gifted him a phone and mom told him i told her that the phone is very expensive etc. My dad would make a face and not talk properly with me after that. Million things like that happened. Everytime she said something abt me she would tell the person not to tell me so there would be no confrontation, just cold war.
When mom came to the usa she could not take it.she got extemely jealous of me, in fact she never visited me in my city and stayed with my brothers, when i came to visit she wanted me to just leave.
When a year after that my older brother got married again she didnt want me to come, when i came she wanted me to leave, when i cried a lot she just became cold and did not allow my husband to attend the wedding.3 months later she instigated my brother to divorce his wife.

Now coming to my main issue. We ,oved to new jersey after my husbands masters for his new job. This where my 2 brothers live.
2 ys ago i got pregnant. Again my parents said they r coming to usa for me and they came when i was 20 weeks pregnant. They totally ignored me. They didnt stay more than a day with me and when they stayed my mum just
wanted to leave. I was very hurt. Whenever i would take a train and go to spend time with my parents and single brother she would be upset. She would keep saying she wants both brothers to get married before i have the baby.
My brother wud refuse to give me his bed even tho he is young and single and i was 20 weeks pregnant. Once i got bed bug bites from his couch and woke up covered in bites and my mom kept saying not to tell my bro his couch had bugs bcoz it wud upset him. She made me sleep on the floor, airbed, couch etc and when one day my bro gave me his bed she told him he should not
I will add that my apartment is in a very expensive area in new jersey and this made mom verybvery jealous as well.

She kept comparing and creating rifts between the siblings.

My delivery was to be in winter and she said being from mumbai she and dad wont be coming for the delivery. I had a misunderstanding that my mil is not good, again it was created by my mum years ago, and we were alone during the delivery.
In the 9 th month i lost my baby boy at 36 weeks. It was medical negligence. My placenta had seperated, uterus ruptured and i almost lost my life as well.
After that i was very bitter with my parents, i used to think that my dads a doctor be could have helped if he had come.

Next,2 yrs went by.often mom realized her negligence with me and regretted not being here for the delivery.
I was upset at times but forgot and forgave and when i got pregnant again in 2011 i told them and invited them.
I wanted to give them a chance as well.

They came in march at 27 weeks pregnancy.
I was very very cautious and on bedrest. I was not allowed to move around much by the docs and we have a one bedroom apartment.

 

Re: Story of my evil mom., stillborn son and unfair situation.Help I am losing my min

They were very concerned about me and baby while they were in india. They would call daily. This pregnancy my life was in danger along with babys life. My dad genuinely loves me and i think he forced mom to come early. They have been to usa 5 times and this was the first time they would be staying with me anf first time they came for 3 months as opposed to one and a half months everytime.
Well i was very happy when they came but then it quickly turned bad.
It was march end and still cold for them. My mum feels very cold as it is. They started going out shopping and roaming around every single day. 2 times a day sometimes. I didnt mind but my mom would catch a cold and would be coughing sneezing constantly, she wold want the heater high etc and soon i also caight her cold. I would cough and sneeze and it would scare me bcoz last time my placenta had tore away for no reason n it put pressure on my uterus.
Me and my husband were so worried. We would keep telling them not to go out unnecessarily that this was a high risk pregnancy etc etc but they never listened. If they listened they would be upset and sit with a long face. It made us let them go out as much as they wanted to.
Also my mom would never sit with me talk to me etc, for her it was like she came here and i shud be happy thats all. She wud tell me my room is too ol when actually it was maybe a couple of degrees cooler than the living room bcoz of a fan on all the time.
I was on bedrest so hardly left my room. My dad wud come n sit with me all the time though.

I have one brother who lives closeby. Mom had issues with himas well after his marriage. This brother never cared much when i told him abtthesecond pregnancy he wud hardly come home etc.
When my parents came he started coming every single day.

I had a problem with that boz he hardly helped before. He would come and it woud be chaos at home n hubby wud come eferyday from work to find him sitting there in the living room.
My parents would leave at 6.30 every single day and o roaming, shopping, mall and drives and finally diner.
This was a daily routine and in the end all 3 wud ome home.
We didnt know what to do. With all this she also ignored me, showed signs of jealousy, comparisin between my apartment n my brothers whos living single these days as his ife cannot come to usa soon so his apartment is smaller and parents wud keep comparing

Amongst all this we had some arguments between parents and I and often my mum would then instigate dad and in turn he wud stop speaking properly with me.

 

Re: Story of my evil mom., stillborn son and unfair situation.Help I am losing my min

We were just fed up of all this during such a tough time. My parents were always upset that we didnt entertain my brother much.
We wanted to get hospitalized as well bcoz of our high risk issues but doctor wasnt agreeing.
Then one day i felt some pinching pain at 34 weeks pregnant and we rushed to the hospital.
We were made to stay back.

I have to say we found so much peace away from my family. We were happy and they too were fine with everything.
The csection date was decided at 35 weeks.
My husband went to bring camera et from home and m dad asked him if he will also be allowed in the operation theatre bcoz hes a doctor. My husband said only husband is allowed.
I guess dad wanted to come but husband and i just wanted both of us there.
We told them come in the evening and they came. I had a baby boy. My room in the hospital was really nice.
Ok one more thing, i am supersitious and had not told anyone about this pregnancy, not my brothers wife, husbands brothers wife etc as we had a stillborn last time.
I told my parents i do not want anyome to knowwhenthe csction date is not even my brothers and the moment csection is one we can tell them. But later we involved everyone. But this hurt my parents.

Well day of the csection parents came in the evening. Mom made some faces and did not commnt at all when she saw pics of my baby, baby was in nicu.
We felt bad. That night they went n slept never called back

Next day her behavior had changed. She created million misunderstandings. She said she wont come to the hospial anymore as she caught a cold there.
She said shes not well so she cannot send me any soup etc. She said my dad and bro want to come. I said ifnthey can bring some food it will be good and she said no she cannot cook. Then she said shes not well so if they come she will be at home alone.
Well amongst all this i didnt invite my dad and bro to come as we were also hurt and my baby was in nicu.

3 days later mom started a fight with me. Kept saying she has cold and uti and imsaid plz go to brothers place till u recover as baby is weak and premature.
She felt bad and said no i will stay here its ok then she said beta be humble and down to earth..u didnt even invite papa and bro to hospital they felt so bad etc etc..and i started crying and said mom whats wrong with u what have i done to u. She said after so muvh seva if one and a half months u r crying and imsaid even u and dad had a vacation it was not just seva. Bas she went crazy. She started abusing me and my husband very badly. She gave very bad words and said hes a very bad son in law. He heard and took the phone and said what happened and she continued. She said we didnt invite them to hospital as we thot nazar lag jayegi brother ki etc etc

I hung up and wrote an email to my bros about the incident, the gaalis etc

Next day when i called them my dad blasted me. I said dad mom abused faizan yday. We r getting discharged today. Dad said hes called taxi n they r leaving for india. I said why wont he see the baby he said tum baby dikhana nai chahti ho. And went on and on.

Finally they fought again 2 days later when my brothers had come.
My older bro supported me.

I am tired writing and there is so much i can tell. After csection i hardly got any help as hey had left. My husband said after so many gaalis hes not goimg to stay with her under one roof immediately.

The end result is tat we said sorry and they said sorry but mom continues to backbite

They come home to cook for me everyday and r staying with my brother.

The problem is i am unhappy. I know how they r but i feel guilty that i troubled them.

What should i do. I have a newborn n keep thinking recalling the fight regretting my side mistakes, getting angry at moms evil nature etc etc.
Where do i go for help
Please i know thi is long and boring but help me. Am i at fault at all?
I will add my husband is a great on in law, has lwys forgiven them for their injustices to me. He is a good man, sensible educated and he says we r not at fault at ll, ll we di was to protect the pregnancy. Even after being abused he has talked to them fine.