Stories i used to tell my Children

Childhood stories

no Comment on this blog, so i guess it is lousy, so i delete it.

and have posted a new one, called

the stories i told my Daughters.


Well some blogs have to flop, this was one of them, no regrests, there are always hits and misses in life.

 

Stories i used to tell my Children​

I used to tell my daughters stories to put them to sleep, mind u they were teens then , sleeping in the same room with us, but on the mattresses below.And I had to invent some, and well they loved it. Silly, but let me share some that I still remember.

Tiger ( Alsatian) and the Cow​

A friend of mine had an Alsatian called Tiger, and I made this one on him.He has a huge Bunglow, with a kennel for Tiger.


Suresh, loved milk, and all buttery products. So he decided to buy a cow, so they can have lots of milk for free.

The cow used to give lots of milk, which would go waste, for they needed just 5 litres of the 20 litres, and they did not like to sell the milk in the locality for they were rich people.

So suresh used to come in summers, and instead of bathing in the boring well water, he would sit under the cow, and take a milk bath, the cow would give milk of its own, for Suresh to bathe in, so like the Boney M song, Rivers of Babyon, here Rivers of milk would flow. And Mrs Suresh would love her milky husband even more at night !!!


Suresh notices that the milk is decreasing, so he stops his milk baths, and takes the cow to the Vet who says nothing is wrong. One fine day, the milk taps dry out, still the vet says all is fine with the cow.


Suresh is worried, and he suddenly realizes someone is stealing his cow’s milk and one day he hides in the lawns to see the culprit, well at midnight, he sees someone creeping up the udders of the cow, the cow yelps, and Suresh pounces on the culprit, and what does he see, that it is Tiger , his own pet, the rascal was drinking the milking right from the source, and had become huge. So tiger was whacked and chained, and given just veg food as punishment, and used to be tied with a muzzle at night, so he does not steal the milk,.

So the milk baths continued and Suresh was very very happy !!!!

And Tiger, well he went about stealing the meat from the passerby’s grabbing their parcel and running away, and this was another headache Suresh had to bear, so he again was given nonveg from home !!!





Daughters did not like me going to play cards with friends on Sundays so I had to make up this story for them, this was during the Sunday afternoons.


Rads, u know, today a lovely peocock came , and was eating the grains on the boundry wall, when a monkey came and he peed on the peacock. The peacock came and complained to me, and the peacock’s family has complained to the police, and they have locked up the monkey , Chaggu in the police station.


Chaggu’s parents came in the morning to tell me to come to the police station to help release Chaggu and I am going there.

Rads – Papa can I come with u ?

Me – No Rads, policemen do not like girls, they will lock u up with snakes and other animals , I will handle the matter.

After the cards when I return with a few toffess, if I won at cards that is

Rads – papa what happened

Me – You know I requested the policemen to release Chaggu who apologized to the peacock Champa, and promised that he will never ever pee on her, and Chaggu;s parents gave me these toffess for u.

Rads is happy, and every Sunday a new story is born to go play cards with my cronies.
We still do play cards, its been 25 years, still, and how time flies, elder one is married and gone, an the younger one now tells me stories of her workplace eh ! Now i learn from her.

Chagu and Mangu​

Chagu and Mangu are two monkey friends, very naughty. Chaggu was adopted by an old lady, and he is like her son.


Come Diwali, and Chaggu wants to burn crackers.He tells his dadima he wants to buy crackers like other human kids.

Dadima- ok but don’t buy rockets and bombs I am very scared of them, buy fool jharis, jameen chakris, and things like that.

Chagu agrees and she gives him a 100 bucks. Out he goes with Mangu to buy crackers.The shopkeeper says, I don’t sell crackers to monkeys and they both start to cry. I was passing by, and I scolded the shopkeeper, where is the law show me that monkeys cant buy crackers, so he gives in.


Chagu choses the biggest of the bombs and rockets, and since they have no pockets, they tie the rockets to their backs, and walk home.

Some mischievous kids see the monkeys with rockets, and they throw a match, which inflames the rockets, and both chaggu and mangu fly off in the air, and they land right in the lap of their grandmother, whose gown gets burnt, while the bums of C and M gets burned, totally charged, and their tail too is half its original size, and they now worry, how will they **** and from where, they have no bums left !!! Luckily their TWING was left untouched by a whisker ( Twing is the , how do I describe to u, u can use yr imagination please, even my kids knew what was a twing then !!!)


Dadimaa thrashed both the rascals, and they promised that in future they will not buy crackers !!!


While I finish the story, kids are sleeping peacefully, andi go up to sleep with Harsha !!!





Well I don’t know how this has come out, if u want I have more stories like

Chagu and Mangu run away from home to meet Babaji ( harsha; guru) and how they trouble the guru, and get converted !!!

Chagu and his peeing habits


Seema’s Bum Factory, for people who lost their Bums, she makes rubber bums, wooden ones etc !!!


And a few more.


Well those days are gone, now I write for u friends, about life and what I see around me, a different ball game altogether.


See u soon.


KAMAL MAHTANI





Some SMS Jokes for u all to enjoy.


After marriage husband saved wife’s mobile Number as
“ Mere charnon ki Rani ( Queen of my Feet)

After 5years of marriage he rectified it to
“ Mere Prano ki Pyasi “ ( She is thirsty to kill me ) !!!




Teacher to Boy – You have not done yr homework, tell me what punishment should I give u
Boy – Sir, that girl on the back bench she too has not done her homework.
You can lock us both in the school bathroom !!!!




Best population quote of the decade

Indian Beds are more fertile, than Indian Lands !!!




I pray for all those people who are suffering not only from Tsunami,
But also in India, from Janani !!!





A Relationship is a Sweet Responsibility.
You may forget with whom u laughed with
But u will enver forget whom u Slept with

Oops sorry, I meant to say Wept instead of Slept !!!




Great Calculation

Only 5% of men have Brains.
Guess what do the other 95% have ?

Answer – Wives !!!

 

Dear Satchi,

Thanks for the first FB, and giving me full mark, unlike Mindi and Krish.:rotfl

Cake and bakery, wow, having the cake and eating it oo, along with the Booker eh ! HAA


Thanks a ton, u made my day.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Lollipop,

thank u so much, i am touched. what can i say, we are all kids eh ! i still love Tinkle and Archies comics, at least i am a kid at heart even now.

Thank u so much, lollipop.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Mindi,

i am naughty and i was naughty then too.what is food without spice, and what ar stories without some spice in them.

and u know i am a nonveg guy, so some of that spills over in the stories too.HAHA

Well i never mind, and i dont mind u pulling myleg, for that way i will grow taller, wont i :biglaugh

thanks a ton.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Kamala,

i aprreciate the fact that u are not scared to speak yr mind, who wants yes men all the time.You are entitled to voice what u feel, so what if that does not agree with what i have written.

Kamala, i feel u take life very seriously, and u aer missing fun in life.
Have u seen Tom and Jerry Cartoons ? the biggest laughs u get are when Jerry the mouse pokes a pin in the backside of Tom and he goes flying up in the air, his face getting red? When thelandlady whacks Tom , she whacks him on his backside ?

Did u see the movie 3 idiots ? it was very successful, and what was there in it ? Sitting on bum shaped stools, Twing getting electrified, bcs he peed on the live wire ?

And the guy Chatur farting in the car, and in the room, and telling eeryone i did not do it.

And the speech, where balatkar (rape) word was used?

Did the people hate the movie ? No, they loved the movie, as did i

And do u know, half the movie of 3 idiots was copied from my blogs, all the scences are mine, written in blogs here, way before the movie was released!!!

Check my old blogs, and u will see how the producers lifted all these scenes from my blogs, it is true no jokes.

So cheer up, for withoput the backside, the peeing, and all that , there is no fun in storytelling , either to kids, or in movies.

Regards

kamal