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Still anyone follow this customs in your house?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by anu1122, Sep 8, 2014.

  1. anu1122

    anu1122 New IL'ite

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    Last time when I went to India my FIL didn't allow me to sit in the chair in front of my SIL's husband.Today I said this to my husband and he says it's indian custom.Still anyone follow all this customs in your house?
     
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  2. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    I don't follow much but this is one of those ridiculous custom that needs to go. Is he planning to follow it once you have your DD/DS. This is degrading to anyone.
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Did he not let you sit on the chair in front of sil's husband or he did not let you sit on the chair at all.Either way.....weird tradition.Never heard of it.I had heard that you are not allowed to be near husband's elder brother...but not this.
     
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  4. anu1122

    anu1122 New IL'ite

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    Thanks yellowmango & Anahita.

    FIL didn't allow me to sit on the chair at at all.My husband doesn't support his father's behavior but he didn't have guts to talk against his father.


    PIL give so much respect to their son in law and they treat their son in law as god.:bonk
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2014
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    And reserve the worst for the dil.
     
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  6. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    We had this tradition. My mom and MIL still follow (for their BILs) but they didn't ask me or my SIL (brother's wife). They asked me to follow only not to sit in front of/touch to husband's elder brother. My bhabhi (SIL) follow this for my elder brother though my brother himself avoid to come in same room where my younger SIL is. Again this is limited only at home not we are in trip or restaurant (they sit on different tables).
     
  7. anu1122

    anu1122 New IL'ite

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    Thanks Priya


    I feel this is one of the custom that should go away because that is degrading our self esteem.MY PIL follow the exact same custom and Last time when we all went for dinner my FIL and MIL sat on a different table.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2014
  8. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    Never had this in my in-laws place, but it is practiced in some of his brothers homes. Maybe because I don't have any BIL / SIL. The DILs are not allowed to sit when there are men present (GRRR).

    The only thing that my FIL has warned me against doing over and over is crossing my legs when I sit in front of PIL. Apparently it is disrespectful. If that was the case, I should not do it when any elder is present. But its perfectly alright to cross my legs when his older brother is around but not him. Anyway, I did not fight it but I had to always chant to myself "don't cross" because growing up, we were taught in school in etiquette class, that ladies crossed their legs. Now if I remember I don't cross, but if I am already sitting that way and he comes around I don't bother to change. And he has also stopped berating me for it.
     
  9. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Never heard or followed in our home. I had worn jeans and t-shirts when my ILs were here. No issues.
     
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Anu,

    Respect for individual is in our attitude towards him/her and not in whether we sit in front of them or not. What one can do, if you are all traveling in a plane? Does he expect you to stand in the plane? As far as I believe, all these ridiculous customs should go away. It is your SIL's husband who should ask you to sit down signaling to your FIL that he has no objections. That is what a good person should do. If a son in law is God, DIL is Goddess too.

    Viswa
     
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