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Staying Married For The Kids: Your Story Please

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2019, Oct 27, 2022.

  1. Ruby2019

    Ruby2019 Gold IL'ite

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    But what has the son got in the 16 years? And what has he been taught about relationships? Seeing the parents so distant physically and emotionally would make him think this is normal. All parents do things with the best interest of the kids but sadly, not everything ends up at the best interest.
     
  2. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    yes . i do not know.

    i have 2 seperate friends, male and female, with similar issues. their spouses are totally useless and abusive and they do not do anything - helping , feed, drop , pick, school stuff. so they are just hanging for some more years, since they can help their kids . fighting custody battle in usa is not cheap and easy to get 100% custody.
     
  3. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Gold IL'ite

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    Ive seen a lot of our earlier generation who stayed in such marriages. Not abuse, but they dont really talk anymore, go out anymore. just stay in the same house, lead different lives.
    But in this generation, Ive seen poeple fall out of love but stay together for the thought of "having someone in their life" and of course, the society. It just easier to stay without love than to fight society , invest energy, find love,take chances all over again, gamble. (Apparently)
    But the scenario I have seen, kids were in high school when the disturbance happened. The woman wasnt really educated, but somehow with the H clerical job, the kids did their pg. The son got a good job and supported the family and the other childrens studies and marriage. I think she was lucky the son had their back.
    The one in our generation, she is also working. So, no financial dependency atleast. Just needed support with nanny, children's studies etc. But its going on.
     
  4. jmsd

    jmsd Silver IL'ite

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    Atleast half of the marriages I know are continuing for the sake of kids only or for the sake of society.
    The rosy picture people paint on the outside is different from what's going on in the family.
    Suffering with a smile and whitewashing one's troubles, an ability to paint a rosy picture is a talent our culture looks for and appreciates.
    I am great at the art of painting rosy picture of my married life.
    If it were not the kid's I would have taken the high road a long time back.
    We cut off and become distant from many relationships of our FOO.
    Marriage is harder, much harder than than those relations.
    In our country and culture there is no way out once you commit to the institution.
    I am sorry I am in a burnt out phase now and may be stating facts without sugarcoating them but dear OP you are young ,do a mental evaluation which is not emotional.
    Give it more time.
    Stick if you can.
    Look around.
    The best of marriages you see have been worked upon and not what they really seem like on surface.
     
    drdiva and Ruby2019 like this.

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