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Stay At Home Life - Isn't It A Blessing?????

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SGBV, Sep 9, 2020.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    I have always been very proud about myself for being a career woman.
    The identity as a UN staff member gives me a special kind of reputation in the society, and I am addicted to this name and fame these days. This is not just a job that pays salary, but my passion and my success.
    It gives me high, and keeps me going despite of the personal conflicts I have in my life.

    For the past 15 years of being a career woman, I was very proud that I am the primary bread winner of my family. A decade back, though me and my H have started our lives from the scratch (without inheriting anything from our respective families), we managed to have everything towards a very comfortable life - It's all because of my hard earned money & investment.

    There are many youngsters in our society, and specially in my extended family wants to become like me. Hearing this from them makes me feel like a role model.

    I was running in this race for the past many years with so much pride & hope without knowing where I am heading to. My career has made me live like a nomad, travelling all over the world without having a permanent place to live. Whenever I come home, it feels temporary as if I live in a hotel.

    Nevertheless, I came home due to covid19 pandemic in Mar 2020 and telecommuting to work (WFH) since then.
    This arrangement comes to an end by end of Sept 2020; thus I am expected to pack my bag & move to Bangladesh soon.

    This break/stay at home has made me think and realize certain important matters in my life. Specially those matters that I miss in life.

    We make money & fame to live this life happily & successfully. But what brings us happiness? Is it the money, or the fame or the things that we buy using our money?

    For the first time in this decade long marriage, I've stayed in my home continuously for 6 months with my family.
    We have created wonderful memories during this break, and realized the fact that, money can not buy these special moments no matter what.
    Its wonderful to be able to sleep till 6.00am, and then cook your kid's favorite pan cake as breakfast without any rush in the morning.
    Its a blessing to be able to carefully pack their lunch boxes for school and kiss them on their forehead every morning to bid goodbye when they depart.

    Kids love my presence at home when they return from School and it makes our days so special. To sit and share things that happened in their class during evenings with a cup of hot ginger tea is priceless.

    To teach them, do their home works together, to prepare them for elocution and speech competitions, and to be able to see them on stage while they perform. OMG, I missed all these wonderful moments in my life in the past decade due to my career.

    I cherish my times with my old mom. We chat about everything under the sun, gossip, argue and fight for stupid things, and the next moment she makes my favorite coffee as if nothing happened. We have our private time every nights from 8-10pm as we watch soaps together, and that's something I am recently addicted to.
    The bond between a mom and DD is always special. I feel ashamed to have missed on all these though my mom lives with me.

    Needless to say the rejuvenated love and bond I share with my H in this second innings. It feels like we are in the college once again. We flirt each other, chat endlessly, and share beautiful moments as couples and parents.
    Since Sri Lanka is luckily least affected by this corona virus, we are free to move on for vacations, family visits, churches etc without having to think or worry about work or leaves. Its amazing!!!

    I think, I love my home all over again.. There is my touch in the interior, curtains, furniture, cooking, and everywhere now. It feels great to have your own home and to be able to live there.
    I have my own room, own private swing as my personal space to read & rest, I have my own wardrobe and what not. In fact, the kitchen is all mine, and I have re-arranged everything as per my taste now.
    All these while, I lived like a guest in my own home.

    Home gardening is so entertaining, and I had my first harvest of the season already. It feels mesmerizing to sit alone in the garden bench at nights and enjoy the cold breeze that brings the fragrance of jasmines flowers.

    We as family sit together in our balcony, and have "Nila soru" - roughly translated as "moon rice" on pournamy days. My kids have never experienced such a lovely family time before.

    What is life without all these happiness during your prime age?
    You may enjoy everything or even more after properly settled down in life, but how much you are sure that your family will remain the same as it is today to enjoy?

    Life is uncertain.... We never know what will happen the next moment.
    Then, why struggle on planning something for the future, by loosing our present?
     
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Nice reading. WFH was there for quite some time. My nephew works for an US company from home. So does my niece. All credit goes to technology. I think after this Covid sovid is over, it may become some sort of a norm to work mostly from home for many.
    Still a huge majority will have to go to work and earn their living.
    It is nice that you are working with UN and obviously at your position, you must be staying in Five star hotels, traveling business class and so on. But deep inside, once in the room alone, you must be missing you family particularly the kids. I had a marketing job at senior position and with at least 10 days touring all over the country. I know how it feels.
    But then, for some there is little choice between career and family. I think it was Faulkner who talked about disposable relationships and what not like ball pens. This what Industrialization is all about.
    The choice is always ours.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks for your comment.
    Obviously the choice is ours, but it is a very tough choice for a woman/mother who also deeply love her family.
    For many, flying in business class or staying in 5 star hotel or even roaming in different continents may be a dream. They may think, I am the most luckiest since I enjoy all of them more frequently.
    But for me, staying at home, cooking, cleaning, spending quality time with my family is a dream. I feel jealous when some women have this luxury all the time. To each their own.
    You can't have it all.... But it would be great if we could find a fine balance or take a break to enjoy both.
     
  4. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    Nice read!
    I think it depends a lot on our circumstances! I am like you- career-driven but love my family deeply. I am used to my identity as a scientist and can't think of not doing what I love to do.

    We had a very good work-life balance throughout our marriage and especially after having kids. I have always worked the way that gives me the freedom to spend quality time with my family. I have never missed any play/ costume party/school function so far. We travel often (not like you though, our travels are usually a week-long couple of times a year) but since we work in the same field, we travel together as a family even when it is for work. When we travel separately, it is usually 2-3 days only. I loved having the flexibility of taking kids to gymnastics/ martial arts or other classes after school while doing what I love during school/daycare hours. DH and I used to have lunch dates just for fun whenever we could fit in our schedule. When my parents visited during the summer, I could come home to make fresh lunch while still working on important projects.

    Stay at home during this extended period is taking a toll on me. I have become the main caretaker of the kids. I love spending time with my kids, going to parks for picnic lunch, making their favorite breakfast, etc. but I just can't function the same way at the home office as I do in my office. I have so many meetings during the day that I keep feeling that I might have forgotten an important meeting. I still teach, have office hours, give seminars, review papers/grants, editorial work, write papers AND take care of the kids. I look forward to Fridays when my husband stays at home and I go to my office.

    I like my pre-COVID work-life balance. I am still trying to get some sort of balance so I don't feel like I am failing. When I have to choose between work and kids' activities, I mostly choose kids stuff but the feeling of not able to do my work 100% is always there.

    The upside is- I am getting up early in the morning, going for run/ yoga, able to have tea while watching the sunrise and hear the birds chirp before the craziness of the day starts. The kids and I are baking/cooking a lot. We are exploring the areas around our city and spending a lot of time hiking/ beach. I am hoping this schedule will stay even after we go back to our normal lives.
     
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  5. SKoundinya

    SKoundinya Junior IL'ite

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    Hi dear, yes it is definitely a blessing to spent quality time with family.. everyone's perspective is different, I am also like who gives importance of family time and once the precious time passes, we don't get it again, money cannot give that precious time. Kids once they are grown up you cannot get missed young , innocent talks, plays, bonding again. I am also working lady but staying home. no travel for me. I feel like I missed helping my son in his homeworks, I did some part, but not as much as I should do patiently. I feel like I should have spent more quality time teaching all good things in different ways. Anyway to gain something we have to lose something, to how much extent we have to make a decision drawing a line , if you still happen to sacrifice the family for career you have to find the purpose of your life in that by giving something back to society/community/poor. that way you can get satisfaction. Again these are all my views how I would take my career.
     
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  6. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    I had experienced all diff shades of happiness,sadness,content, depression when I was in job or out of job or with lots of family time or less family time.I realized REAL happiness doesnt come from high paying job or great title or material things or lot of family time in hand.REAL happiness is the happiness which come from within ourself regardless of our situation.Balancing life and career doesnt bring happiness ,but it can give a sense of achievement with some sacrifices.
     
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  7. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    It is the choice that we make according to our mindset. Everyone has different priorities. Right balance rarely exists. Right balance is also very debatable and nothing absolute about it. So...different perspectives for different people. Grass is always green on the other side. Enjoy what you are doing.
    Syamala
     
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  8. kaluputti

    kaluputti Gold IL'ite

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    Wonderful words...I agree totally to this.
     
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  9. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    For some, definitely a blessing. I have enjoyed it in the beginning, but i have a love hate relationship with it. When I worked from home, I felt I couldn't work efficiently like I used to from office. There were other reasons to it too but still I like my work at office schedule, even though it was busier than WFH. Right now with my employer, WFH is on need-to-basis, which i like. Also, this work from home/ most businesses and other things opening on limited capacity is hindering DD's activities. I am afraid she will lose her skills on the activities she was already doing.

    Good side was that, we got a lot of work done on our house - small repair jobs other wise would have needed a day off was a breeze with us being home. Also, saved a lot of money on gas as cars ran lesser miles. we enjoyed lunch hour family time and naps on our backyard hammocks in summer!
     
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  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Nice write up SGBV..
    But in my city, in India, which is very much Covid affected,, I’m seeing a trend of most ladies struggling while working from home...there is no well defined boundary between office and home...
    Majority have stopped maids, few who can afford have full time live in maids...few who can afford very high end cleaning gadgets like Robotic cleaners also may have got some relief but they’re a minority..
    Most moms are going crazy managing household chores and office work and looking small kids, especially school going kids...online classes are taking a big toll on parents and kids too...apart from that prep work, homework everything need to be supervised apart from the actual class..those who have elders like in-laws with them are pretty overworked due to additional work of being in a joint family too...
    But, some ladies really welcome this long wfh duration..like new moms whose maternity leave got over and want to be at home with the baby..in ordinary circumstances they would have to travel to office daily but in this situation they can feed and pump for the baby anytime..and spend time with the baby ..and avoid the risk of infection...
    People who struggled with a bad long distance commute to their workplaces earlier would get some relief and time for sleep, chores and family...
    Also newly married couple living in nuclear family would find the wfh situation very much to their benefit!
    Depends on individual situation I guess...
     
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