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Status Anxiety Syndrome

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Feb 12, 2023.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    STATUS ANXIETY SYNDROME

    As humans we are egoists and we need to be reminded of our importance now and then. We all are status seekers and suffer from this malice called SAS.

    These status seekers are found everywhere, to be frank, I am one of them. Posting my snippets every now and then, seeking attention with favorable comments. Some do, some do not and maybe someone has no time to waste his valued time. But it is okay.

    I, however, feel sad when someone in a group uses words like-

    scoundrels who Lick the dirty ass of …

    What a poetic language indeed!

    And to top all:

    I did not bother and care any one during my entire service and why should I bother these minuscules now with my academic, social, political , financial and legal background and enormous networking.


    Perfection needs no improvement indeed!

    Status anxieties are of many types. One of them is about physical appearance. The other is status in society. Some are born into rich families and for them, it serves the purpose. For others to be seen in their company is the answer. The more one is photographed with such high-ranking people the more it paves the way for them for improving their status. They may even resort to names dropping to enhance their status. Some keep on harping on their membership in ‘prestigious clubs’.

    Then some guys would exhibit their achievements and awards, past or present, at the drop of a hat. They need an appreciative audience. In this category come writers, actors, poets, painters, and dancers.

    Modern-day decorative designations have created yet another type of status-seeking professional with high-sounding designations printed on their business cards. The less known you are the more you need to distribute your card.

    Smartphones with smart cameras have created a new kind of status seeker with their selfies. One can find them taking a snap of themselves or with friends or family and posting it on social sites, Facebook in particular.

    Status anxiety is not bad per se. It is rather motivating to do more and improve further. Yet it can be very devastating and depressing for some who cannot stand the competition. The best way to avoid this situation is to always be on the move. There is no room for leisure. Just post and move, view and move, like and move, comment and move. The best part is all this becomes extinct within no time. What is posted/viewed/liked/commented this very moment will slide down very fast and go off sight and you know out of sight is out of mind.
     
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    The word status is losely defined as "the relative social, professional, or other standing of someone or something". Who sets these standards and is it quantitative or qualitative? It is always a moving target depending on who we compare with. Our expectations of ourselves become the status at some point which sometimes makes us feel good and other times feel disappointed. Professional degrees, designations, personal appearance, spouse, house, and car become status symbol. Sometimes, how many followers in the social media becomes the status as an influencer.

    Attention-seeking is an old habit that dies hard. No one is an exception. Name and fame make this habit thrive in us. Whether one is a sportsman, entertainer, educator, industrialist, or saint, he seeks attention. The one who advises not to seek anything himself is a seeker of attention.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    There are two kinds of statuses we are discussing here.

    Status 1: Telling the world that I am the best.
    I am from the best cast, best family, best school or college, I have the best profession, and bestest of everything. So, I am the best.

    Status 2: This is the social media status. This doesn't say anything about being best, but being lively. Just to tell the world that I am here.

    I do not see anything wrong with the latter, because it doesn't harm or degrade anyone. It just keeps the person alive and active. They feel the sense of recognition, and that keeps them motivating. Although daily selfies of someone in your time-line may provoke you, but you have the option to ignore, unfriend or even block the annoying person if you want.

    Having said that, we all seek attention some or the other way. Just that, some of us seek the same through digital media.
     
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  4. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Shri Viswa,
    In my opinion, status-seeking is part of satisfying the ego. I do not see any harm in it as long as it does not discount others. We all know, two individuals are not equal. That is how we are made. Not all can reach the top but not all can stay there forever also.
    There are various ways of maintaining our status but imposing that on others is irritating. The lines in the post are factual presentations of what some can say in a group.
     
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  5. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree. It is the Satatus 1 that is annoying, and egoistic.
    Status 2 is just fun. Social media is just for that. But there also, particularly on Twitter, the troll army spoils everything for no reason. It is possible to convey any viewpoint in a civilized language.
     
  6. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Very well said! attention seeking is inherent in all of us to varied degrees. It is only when it goes beyond a point and affects ones peace of mind and behaviour that it is worrisome.
     
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Very often we are informed of need for appreciation,
    encouragement and viewing the same as a sign of respect and courtesy.There is no second opinion regarding the same. Encouragement is the best motivating factor for success,

    When we appreciate others the psychology of 'projection' sets the stage.We are made to think of our own potentials
    that are hidden within us and by appreciating others
    we are attuning to our own creative potential
    -which is reflected in others.It is a blessing in disguise and accelerates our own development.
    If we analyse the psycholgy of person to be appreciated;

    There is no human in the world who does not want to become somebody .
    Yes, it is an identity crisis.Nobodies are marginalized
    to the point of invisibility


    Recognition is to the self what nutrition is to the body.
    And like food, too little or too much can be harmful.
    Malrecognition has to be treated in the same way as
    malnutrition. We don’t always feel comfortable admitting
    it to our friends; it is embarrassing. But, secretly,
    the idea of being famous has great appeal..

    Fame really just means you get noticed a great deal –
    not that you get understood, appreciated or loved.
    Even senior citizens who are supposed to have
    grown mature out of life experiences are
    tempted to contribute something, expect likes,reviews and responses .
    The social and electronic media trigger the lust for fame.

    When somebody appreciates you liberally as a talented writer
    and you respond to him by 'thanks' ,it automatically means that you
    are not only acknowledging his/her letter but also indirectly amounts
    to getting somewhat elated ,though we may say that
    I don't deserve this etc etc.We see all these exchanges
    of generous encomia in the electronic
    media today.The party workers do the same for gains during elections.

    Today’s parents not only want to become somebody but also be
    known as somebody's mothers/fathers --resulting in high unrealistic
    expectation on children.See the rush for’super singer’ contests!
    The final judgement is based on audience's vote, which
    some of the contestants are able to amass very easily
    in view of their contacts in electronic media.
    The 'like' votes come from the unknown who would not have
    even seen the programme.
    Some hope to become famous by associating with celebrities.
    I have seen an old woman boasting that M. S. attended her daughter's wedding and sang during'oonjal' or somebody
    bragging that he was sitting next to Sachin in the
    plane or showing everybody the number of autographs
    stalked with them.

    Even God is stated to be 'stotra priya;'-(one fond of being praised)
    Why not ordinary mortals?
    Famous is Krishna's words in Uddhava Gita
    that he won't come for help unless specifically sought for. However
    this is proclaimed to be advocating the significance of
    'total surrender' or'sharanagathi'.)

    Our Thiruvalluvar comes to our rescue with the kural beginning with

    ” Thonrir pugazhodu thonruga;ahdilaar
    thonralil thonraamai nanru"
    ( You have to live with fame in this

    world.Otherwise there is no use of taking human birth
    .If you don't have fame, it is better not to take birth at all).
    Whenever I read this kural I feel that the great Thiruvalluvar is canvassing
    for 'lust for fame',one of the six inherent enemies.

    Is this one couplet not enough to be taken as a pretext under which
    everybody can shout at his/her topmost voice “we want to become
    somebody and we never want to remain as 'nobody'for ever?

    jayasala42
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Kudos to Madam Sister @jayasala42 for her fantastic thought provoking holistic befitting feed back covering entire gamut of SAS. I thoroughly enjoyed her contemplation gleamed through her feedback. Platitudes gets attention and also promotions! Supplicants help their master to overcome the SAS. Service done without expectation too gets praised and the person rendering gets motivated to extend and enlarge service to wider areas. When lady of the house serve me the guest - food, I just praise and I know she would give more helping.
    Spouses long for just praise from their DH but many DH as a rule forget to utter a compliment because their mind is languishing elsewhere which could be his office. But there are few, who makes it a point to always highlight a point or two and praise the person for their action or inaction whom they meet during the course of the day. Even if negatives to be told, first she or he begin praising something positive in that person and such attitude helps to get better improved service from domestic helps or and employees.
    A staff habitual late comer was simply told by new boss that " you are very early for tomorrow's work" did wonders. The late comer from the day next was punctual to attend office.

    I find many click “like” to Original posts where Op is lamenting about abuses & verbal pyro-techniques that she encounters on daily basis from her extended family members and her DH. How such stories would be liked by any reader? But seeing likes to her post helps her to overcome sas.


    from cradle to grave every human and cows linger for praise and platitudes which includes bit cuddle. Such loved read praised cows too yield more milk.

    sometimes it is not ok. When a DH praise another woman for her work or her food , his darling wife gets enraged! But the very sct of that DH praising in front of his own woman , the other lady feels elated and served her sas.

    some praise or accolade comes with sarcasm from disgruntled men or women . If a retort is not made then and there , it would cause heart burning the recipient and this would increase quantum of his sas.

    it has no

    True. These are the ones suffer acute sas. By hook or crooke they try to get a word of praise.

    In shipping office the base officer who is fifth or sixth at the bottom of Heiherarchical pyramid designated as Joint Deputy Assistant Director General of Shipping.
     
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  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I am really thankful for such an elaborate reply to my snippet. Each line is a message in itself.
    It is rather impossible to understand humans. I would say charity begins at home. Don't we want recognition? All the time. From birth to death.
    What separates us from others? That is the crux of the issue. Sometimes we have very high regard for an achiever, sometimes jealousy, sometimes even contempt, why? Maybe his achievement is undeserved.
    But then, who are we to judge?
     
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  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Shri Thyagarajan,
    I just can't make out where to start with. Each paragraph needs a pause and comment.

    I would deal with spouses. They say about 7 years itch. I say it is much earlier. Maybe, just after the first child or no birth of a child. After a while spouses take each other for granted. Physical needs are superseded by different needs. There is need for appreciation anymore.
    At the same time, both suffer from SAS. Wife managing the home or home plus her job and husband managing the job and home for a change. There is no time for noticing who is wearing what.
    Anyway, it is different from the normal time of social SAS, where every action is judged.
     
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