I very often feel: Oh, enough of thanks and sorry! Friends, on reading the above line, don’t think, my good manners have flown out of the window! No, they are very much in my system – but I no more waste them just because I want to portay myself only as Ms Polite! I am polite enough, but not the personification of politeness! Let me narrate to you in detail. Mine was a arranged match (51 yrs back, love marriage would have scandalised my family!). My father met Vish (hereafter no more V & I am not in favour of using DH) and came to the conclusion that he is a “splendid” personality, well qualified professionally, six feet tall, fair et al (what does splendid mean in life, I am still figuring out!). So, I just obeyed Appa. There was the formal ‘bajji-sojji’ session where, to my shock, annalum nokkavillai Naanuum nokkivallai! The latter because I felt, tit for tat is good and a must right from the beginning! But he sent me by post “their side” invitation, which thrilled my cousins (more than me!) and in hush-hush tones, they were giggling “how romantic?. His hand writing did impress me, for sure!! Now, from the way I begin this sentence don’t get overly shocked. On wedding night, as soon as I entered the room, he greeted me with a warm “Thank you”! I almost swooned because I had just entered and nothing had “happened” for him to thank me for. Well, I weakly smiled (perhaps vaguely too) because I did not want to reply “my pleasure” or “you are welcome” more because both these terms can be (mis)interpreted, in a less polite, but naughty way too! Well, it took some days for me to interpret it (for my own pleasure) as “thanks for marrying me”. Perhaps many girls had rejected him already?? I never investigated, for my own reasons, ofcourse. Let me tell you, he is attuned to being overly polite in his behavior that every day in my life is full of “thanks” and “sorry”s! He is a man of very (very) few words and in his vocabulary “thanks” and “sorry”s are the most used. In the mornings, when I keep the coffee-mug near him, there is a “thanks”. If he does not say that, I am very sure he has not made a note of it & I mention just “Sir, coffee”. ( that is how I call him) I move away only after his thanks; otherwise I worry if he may forget to drink it hot or it will become cold. So,thanks is an acknowledgement, nothing more!! This is just one example. Next, “sorry”s are cheaper by the dozen, as though!! We both eat together & if he fnishes first and leaves the table early, it is “sorry” now. This is a basic example. Not only to me does he say them, but to EVERYBODY!! My children, Ruby & Kumar are used to it. But when my SIL & DIL entered our famlily, they were shocked if the ambience in our house has over tones of politeness. Well, they took time & settled down & started replying “no problems mama”, “my pleasure”, “my privilege” etc!! All my friends comment to me, what a splendid person, he is. Slowly I am understanding what my father meant after meeting him for the first time!! Even though, I pale “mannerwise” by his side, I tell myself “this is me – that is he”!! So, be it!! We have lived together happily for 51 yrs!