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Starting life with a startling “thankyou”!!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Chitvish, Mar 17, 2011.

  1. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    I very often feel:
    Oh, enough of thanks and sorry!

    Friends, on reading the above line, don’t think, my good manners have flown out of the window!
    No, they are very much in my system – but I no more waste them just because I want to portay myself only as Ms Polite! I am polite enough, but not the personification of politeness!

    Let me narrate to you in detail.
    Mine was a arranged match (51 yrs back, love marriage would have scandalised my family!).
    My father met Vish (hereafter no more V & I am not in favour of using DH)
    and came to the conclusion that he is a “splendid” personality, well qualified professionally, six feet tall, fair et al (what does splendid mean in life, I am still figuring out!). So, I just obeyed Appa. There was the formal ‘bajji-sojji’ session where, to my shock,
    annalum nokkavillai
    Naanuum nokkivallai!
    The latter because I felt, tit for tat is good and a must right from the beginning!
    But he sent me by post “their side” invitation, which thrilled my cousins (more than me!) and in hush-hush tones, they were giggling “how romantic?. His hand writing did impress me, for sure!!

    Now, from the way I begin this sentence don’t get overly shocked. On wedding night, as soon as I entered the room, he greeted me with a warm “Thank you”! I almost swooned because I had just entered and nothing had “happened” for him to thank me for. Well, I weakly smiled (perhaps vaguely too) because I did not want to reply “my pleasure” or “you are welcome” more because both these terms can be (mis)interpreted, in a less polite, but naughty way too!

    Well, it took some days for me to interpret it (for my own pleasure) as “thanks for marrying me”. Perhaps many girls had rejected him already?? I never investigated, for my own reasons, ofcourse.

    Let me tell you, he is attuned to being overly polite in his behavior that every day in my life is full of “thanks” and “sorry”s!

    He is a man of very (very) few words and in his vocabulary “thanks” and “sorry”s are the most used.
    In the mornings, when I keep the coffee-mug near him, there is a “thanks”. If he does not say that, I am very sure he has not made a note of it & I mention just “Sir, coffee”. ( that is how I call him) I move away only after his thanks; otherwise I worry if he may forget to drink it hot or it will become cold. So,thanks is an acknowledgement, nothing more!! This is just one example.
    Next, “sorry”s are cheaper by the dozen, as though!! We both eat together & if he fnishes first and leaves the table early, it is “sorry” now. This is a basic example.

    Not only to me does he say them, but to EVERYBODY!! My children, Ruby & Kumar are used to it. But when my SIL & DIL entered our famlily, they were shocked if the ambience in our house has over tones of politeness. Well, they took time & settled down & started replying “no problems mama”, “my pleasure”, “my privilege” etc!!

    All my friends comment to me, what a splendid person, he is. Slowly I am understanding what my father meant after meeting him for the first time!! Even though, I pale “mannerwise” by his side, I tell myself “this is me – that is he”!! So, be it!! We have lived together happily for 51 yrs!
     
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  2. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    THANK YOU for such a Lovely post Aunty ! :)

    Enjoyed reading the post :rotfl :thumbsup
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    chithmam,

    Annalum idhu konjam over. your finding meaning of the adjective splendid that your dad used 51 years ago.

    Having met him, and both of us being a fan of Vish sir, i will say he is too polite, but that becomes part of the whole sweetness that he is. Ok let me stop here. somebody else will continue..

    Saying sorry and thankyou's are part of life but it depends on the couple??

    should i stop coaching DS from saying too many thankyou's and sorry's :idea:hide:
     
  4. Arunadhri

    Arunadhri Bronze IL'ite

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    I agree.
    I dislike this automatic thanking. The Americans are the worst at it. One feels a bit cheated on being thanked. As though the obligation for whatever service rendered is discharged by an empty sounding 'Thanks'.

    My 4 year grand daughter came for a visit from the US with my daughter and son in law in November last. The child was thanking me and her grand mother for every small thing. She even advised me that I should do the same.
    I kept her on my lap and told her that we are doing things because of our love to her and that we are the ones that should be grateful for her accepting whatever we did. She gravely listened and said,'OK. I'll not thank 'G' ammamma or Rammani Thatha. But you should not thank Tara (herself) also.'

    The pact holds. She reminds me every day on the phone from Wash DC. I'm not thanking you and you are not thanking me.

    Incidentally, I detest this DH, DW and the rest. When we have ஒர்படி, அத்திம்பேர் and all the rest, why these contractions?

    Arunadhri
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2011
  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    hilarious post ma'am. thoroughly enjoyed it.

     
  6. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mrs.C,

    and figured out you did! I am sure from that experience you know that all those 'thank yous' and 'sorrys' are loaded with meaning, love and affection and have a lot of expression hiding :) While we all have so many words and more to express ourselves, I think it is ok to let Mr.V be the polite one with all the wonderful people surrounding him who know the meaning of his politeness!

    Lovely write up Mrs.C and it indeed is a wonderful way of "Starting life with a startling “thankyou”!! - 51years and rocking!" :thumbsup
     
  7. babycorn

    babycorn Silver IL'ite

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    Nice post chitraamma..My H never says "sorry" or "thankyou".But I have seen him using these 2 words liberally with others:hide:.My father is like him.So I thought it is a "Man's thing":biglaugh

    Your writeups have something magical in it and I complete it in less than a min.Please do write more.Iam all ears:cheers
     
  8. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    Oh chithra amma
    first of all nice to see you in snippets forum..i was sad when you stopped writing in your blog..
    and this post once again reminded how powerful these words are
    sorry and thank you:)
     
  9. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chitvish ma'am
    Enjoyed the article very much! I was smiling all way to the end by the humour in your narrative! You write so well!
    I would like to say the following in two words, "I sincerely appreciate the time you have taken and efforts you have put in to share this heartwarming incident with us all! I also find your threads provide double feast; one to the mind and the other to feast our eyes on; the yummy pinwheel biscuits avatar" - THANK YOU!
     
  10. AbhiSing

    AbhiSing Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Ma
    Hahaha... I liked the naughty Chitvish touch:biglaugh.

    Having met him for few minutes in whole 3 hours...I understand how polite Vish Sir is.

    Thanks for the sinppet and I am looking forward for more...:bowdown
     

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