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spouse lost his job ...should wife and kids stay here or go to India?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by SriUS, Apr 28, 2010.

  1. SriUS

    SriUS New IL'ite

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    I am posting this query for my friend. She is in dilema whether to stay here or to go to India.

    My friend's husband was laid of in his job due to merging of some departments in his office. At the time the wife nd kids were in India for vecation. Her husband also joned them in the vecation. The whole family came to US . Her husband started searching for jobs and its been 4 months he started searching. But he is not able to get a job. He is US citizen and has some 10 yrs of IT experience. since its been so long he is getting frustrated now. My firend did software job 2 yrs ago. She left the job to tkae care of kids. They have 2 kids....4 yr nd 2 yr old. She is also searching for job since 1 month but she is not at all getting any calls.

    Now, her issue is her husband suddenly decided to send wife nd kids to India and move to Newyork or some other place and search for job or take any training etc. But my friend thinks that he can still take training form home and continue his search. He is saying that bcoz of family he is nto able to take any brave decision. My friend doesn't want to go to India as they came back just 4months back.Also, she has not agood ralationship with her inlaws nd SIL1. But thats the least thing she is worried about. she can somehow manage or adjust. SO, is it a good idea to send them to India or stay here?. (she also said that he is not sending them to India bcoz of financial problems. they can manage somehow). please share ur ideas and suggestions. which option is best for her?
     
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  2. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    I dont understand, he is not sending for financial reason, then for what reason is he sending, since both of them are USC so visa issues is also not there, what is that he is doing? he wants to live in US hence wants to keep trying by going to NY etc, how is he feeling that family is his weakness, I dont think his wife cannot live alone while he is travelling or looking elsewhere. So going to India what is that he will get , there is some missing link in the story either OP your friend has not told or you need to tell.
     
  3. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

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    I think your friend can convince her hubby, as she can also search for a job if she is here. Atleast any one of them get a job, then there wont be any problem.
    If its not for financial reason, then what? may be he needs time to settledown in a job with a hassle free mind?
    Ask her discuss about her career too, so that she can avoid going back to india.
     
  4. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    I am not sure whether you mistyped the "not" inbetween.But by seeing your statement , If I assume that he does not have money to send them back home then they are under financial crisis too.Probably your friend's hubby menas that if the family is staying here means a lot of expense which might have an imapct on his job search too which makes perfect sense in my opinion.They can probably join back when he finds a job.
    OR , if she can manage to get a job that would be well and good.
     
  5. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Having two small kids is the husband concerend about health insurance??
    If money is not the issue to live here until he finds a job. Why send wife and kids to India?:confused2:
     
  6. SriUS

    SriUS New IL'ite

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    Thanks all of u for ur valuable replies.

    I talked to my friend about ur replies nd ur doubts. She confirmed me that they r NOT in financial trouble. His only concern is if he will leve the family and go to a big city like NY to search or take training etc .. he won't feel safe. He knows that his wife can manage but he won't be comfortable and not 100% sure about that. she said that if they go to India then he can roam around and try different options and not to worry about his wife nd kids.

    Also, my friend is searching for jobs but she said she can only search in the city they r living bcoz if he gets job then they have to move. and younger kid can't stay without her mother (she is just 2yr old) if she has to go for face to face interview in some other city. So she doesnt have much options to find a job.
     
  7. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I was about to write about the husband feeling and I saw your latest posting.
    That's correct.They can't leave wife and small kids at home and roam around the plaeces.They feel like coming back every week home and kind of stress on them.
    But one thing we really don't know the timing of it.It could take no time or long time to find some job.
    I would suggest,If she has her mother or some one could help her then ask her to bring them.That way her husband is less worried about it.Like if she has to do some grocery shopping,she doens't have to go with 2 kids in the car.Since it's summer it's kind of flexibility for the people whoever visit.
    If the process takes more than the summer and she can think of going to india in winter.
    If she has some one then it may help lot.Infact she could try for job and see she gets anything in the city.Even her husband gets in other city they have to plan someway for sometime until the econimy improves.

    Just my 2 Cents.
     

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