Spoilt brats and indulgent parents

Sweth Dear,
We are not funny - we are practical !
Anubhavam pesikirathu, Baby !
We learnt this by experience !!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Sri,
Too, too bad !
Once after coming to my house for an arattai session, you later phoned up & asked me, "Compared to Vish, do you think, I was talking vaLa vaLa?".
How did you expect me to give an honest answer - Yes? So, I "nicely" wriggled out of giving an answer.
But let us both be frank - we love to talk. It is only "idam, poruL, aeval" w r to our children & grandchildren that we restain ourselves !!
Don't be highly imaginative about yourself & boast that you open your mouth only to eat & yawn !!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Sri,

A timely topic. There is no fool proof method for parenting in my opinion..what worked for my parents may not work for me. so it is a trial and error method... So a balance must be met.

Indulging, picture this, the my friends son(5), will be peace personfied at home, but start screaming and demanding the moment he is in a supermarket..reason being he knows his parents are going to get him anything to keep him quiet...another friend buys his son(13) a PSP2 with the latest games,because the son is short and he feels bad in school...

In the first instance the parent should have drawn a line that crying or screaming will not get the child anywhere . In the second instance, height is going to be a problem for the boy whether today or tomorrow,the parent cannot be there pacifying and making him feel good all the time..instead if he had guided him to learn to feel more confident, and tackle his complex...

Meeting all their demands may not prove difficult initially, but later, as the child grows and the demands grow along , it becomes really difficult. The spending power has increased, so parents feel justified in spending and indulging, may be for the reasons.. guilty. both of them working and are not able to be give more time.
they themselves are society birds, and set the same example for the the child and
last but not least, the serious reason, I did not get this, so my child should get this.....where the line is drawn by the parent is a question mark..............


I give my daughter pocket money, for emergencies. She uses that for calling me, from the pay phone at school,bus stop. this friday, she had been to an maths exp competion, where she was hungry, she called me for asking permission to buy some biscuits..I have told her that this money is for emergencies and not indulgence..and she should have an account of how she spends it...and also not to buy food outside....So, she called up for permission...I felt may be I am too rigid..bonk

My son had lot of problems to the extent to be labelled as a m.retarded...but I was/am strict with him. my relatives make hurtful remarks that I am a bad mother...but I don't get into it..for the reason I feel when my son was born, he had too many problems...that today if somebody sees him, will not tell that he is the same.as he is too intelligent....that is god's blessing to me..and i can't misuse his blessing.....I have a responsibility as a mom....

I am very indulgent if it is going to be useful to them..Children observe and learn from parents..so as a parent it is our duty to set a good example.

 

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

An apt topic for discussion. Daily me and my dh have this topic. Whenever kids misbehave, my dh says iam more indulgent. Kutti chavar agarai kozanthaigalai idha dialogue.

I personally feel one kid there are very good chances of over indulgence. And today people have lot of money. any person working for IT have loads of money and the children are taken only to Malls. This has becom the scene in BLR. Other kids feel very bad if they are not taken maybe our economy does not permit us to take them. Though we make them understand, still atleast to see these kind of things we have to agree. But there should always be a demarking line when indulgence comes inbetween discipline.

Another point to be noted here in joint families, when we try to discpline the child the grandparents interfere resulting the kids branding their parents as miser or stingy. When we say that something should not be done or purchased, the kids coolly take the money from their grandparents and get their will fulfilled. This is where grand parents should also help in discplinig the kid.bonk

Oops! sorry talking about grandparents here........... that too lot of grandparent are here and am replying to one also. Really no offences meant to you or chittu mami.

 

Dear Cheensaar....Hello!

I was checking out your columns to see what's new and here you go about the indulging parent and the spoilt brat !

I think this is a wonderful topic, worth discussing on Indusladies as it is practiacally full of young parents and some indulgent grandparents too! Your's sincerely being one of them

From times gone by to the present, I guess there were always indulgent parents and their spoilt brats. The brats become totally conspicuous in their teenages by their overtly brash behaviour or speeding in plush cars or motorbikes, if they are from affluent families. Almost all of us can remember one or more of them from our school and college days. Whatever the reasons for their obnoxious behaviour, fact remains, they are to be pitied. For, nobody really likes them, except for their scycophants.

I have not heart to blame the young working parents of today. I honestly do not believe that they say to themselves.....I have not spent time with my child, so I will spend some money on him.... It does not work that way. A conscious and responsible parent will be that, inspite of indulging the child to satisfy their sensibilities. But a lackadaisical person, be it parent or anyone, may resort to indulging the child just to get away from the real responsibilities. After all, we must face it. Just becoming a parent will not change the inherent character of the person. The result could be this spoilt brat!

I also agree that money can work in many ways and often the moneyed man becomes a showoff and the child too is subjected to these vanities. Pity this child all the more for it. Without mentioning names ( for they must be hurting to this day)..a very famous singing duo of India lost their only son who insisted on speeding the roads with his flashy car. It seems he was a Brat. Mother did not sing anymore.

Single child is another example of being subjected to much overpowering love from indulgent parents and getting spoilt. I Must say that there are many exceptions to the rule. But I know two such young women who were single children and who today are in a big mess, all created by their own bloated egos. Surely, not their fault. They just did not know better, not having the right parental guidance.

Well, a very thought provoking topic. Hmm, I did sound very earnest....right?!

L, Kamla