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Speak more or less with mother in law?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cheesecake, Sep 1, 2015.

  1. cheesecake

    cheesecake Senior IL'ite

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    My mother in law say i speak too less with my in laws but actually i think they are in law so i should not say much or argue or say that i am right and you are wrong or laugh loud.she find fault in lot of things and i dont say anything and ignore and dont talk to her much because she is complaining and not that friendly.how do you all behave with in laws please tell me.they think i am boring but i know if i do something then they will gossip about me a lot and make fun of me.
     
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  2. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    If its only 2-3 years since you are married, just keep it civil and formal and respectful for now (since you have said they find faults). Thats safer, even if boring.
     
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  3. Nakshatraa

    Nakshatraa Silver IL'ite

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    Be what you are comfortable with, don't change for others( in-laws), you can never satisfy them. This is a long journey, so, try to be civil & in the safer zone friendssmiley
     
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  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Precaution is better than cure.
    Talk respectfully and to the point. If they want casual chit chat...let them make the first move and start the conversation. Stay clear of topics that may cause problems.
    Slowly everyone will understand each others nature.Who knows...some day they might even appreciate your quiet nature .
     
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  5. Nakshatraa

    Nakshatraa Silver IL'ite

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    How true @yellowmango your words are, if you are going to take some classes for yet-to-be dils, i will send my daughter to you in 2 decades :iagree
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Nakshatraa...
    21 years into married life.Speaking less was what worked for me...but I did speak out when needed,mostly respectfully (except once).Speaking less works if things are not too bad. When things are bad...then one does need to deal with that .

    My daughters are in their teens and I worry about them so much....:-(
     
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  7. Nakshatraa

    Nakshatraa Silver IL'ite

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    Same pinch @yellowmango, me married for 13 yrs, i too keep the talk less, no getting too friendly, but, i had to speak twice for myself, when i had no one else to speak. When i look at all the dil posts here , it really makes me feel butterflies in my tummy for my lo
     
  8. mcutiepie

    mcutiepie Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    I also believe its better to speak less.

    In my case also, my MIL used to expect that I should get very talkative with her and share every bit of information.. even if too personal btw me and my hubby...

    Personal matters, i never like to discuss with anyone else... and even for general gossips I realized most of the things even very casual.. used to become an issue later on... or she will keep on sharing the same with her relatives...

    so I speak less and even if sitting together.. I keep on playing/talking about my baby.. and she is first one to start any topic..

    Its always better to be on safer side... Ultimately ILs and ILs only.. they will keep on complaining either way we adopt.. so better keep ourself safe...
     
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  9. Rith

    Rith IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Cheesecake
    Remember one thing dear. Something is better than nothing but nothing is far far better than nonsense.
    Rather than initiating a topic and suffer from the back fire better be semi formal, reply if she asks; initiate a discussion if it is very important, but behave as jovial as if u dont have any issues with her. It is better to maintain that you are bit silent and reserved rather than showing ourself talkative and fallen into trouble

    What say ladies??
     
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  10. minjagan

    minjagan Gold IL'ite

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    I second with all the replies...
    Being silent is far better than talking with them and finding faults in your talks....
    Talk whenever is needed and be yourself...
     

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