Sorry Long Post , Venting Out

@Ishaan10 I apologize if my comment hurt you. The goal was not to point fingers at you but point out this mindset that a good percentage of Indian adults carry wrt to child rearing.
Having a newborn can be overwhelming but this is something that you choose to do so why expect anyone else to take up the work. The only person your expectations and blame can be piled on is your husband. He is your partner in crime here and has 50% responsibility to make this process as painless as possible. Once you realize that you might not detest your MIL more.

I agree with @Needtobestrong , a good crib or playpen should solve your issues.
Wish you the best.

 

Agree with ladies above on tools to help ourselves. As I didn't have anyone to hold my baby, except dh( which he couldn't do for long), the following portable bouncer ( similar) helped me a lot. I used to take bath when baby sleeps in safe place(crib or bed or bouncer). In my siblings case, they had fulltime nanny for first few months following delivery even though they were living with parents or PILS in India. I didn't have anyone in USA following delivery. But we managed it ok. Just sharing for info.

Similar models with rocking options are available in amazon.in. it is not much expensive ( search for baby bouncer) Both of my babies were very comfortable in that. They used to sleep there. I used it in living room or kitchen or where I am so that both of us can see each other. It gave me some time to myself. We cannot force others to do something for us. Its better not to depend on anyone. Lower expectation leads to happiness.

 

Why can’t u bring ur mom to take care of ur kids ..lets sh help u and take care of ur kids as well.no maid charges no daycare charges no mil stress.

 

What u will do if your mil is not with you now? Do that ...it reduce ur stress

 

This. So much this.
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Never ever hand your baby over to an unwilling person — no matter who it is. Babies should always be handled with love. If your MIL doesn't feel it, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Should or should not doesn't matter.

This is a very valid worry.

Try talking to your MIL calmly. Say you appreciate the love she showers on your older child but you're worried that your younger child will be hurt by the partiality. Tell her you hope she will try to bond with the younger one, too. Give her a chance.

If she doesn't try, you can ask your mother to help with both kids.
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I know someone who has a very rude mil.After c sec delivery MIL made DIL carry buckets of water for her (mil) to take bath.Since she had the habit of getting up early and doing pooja she also made dil to get up early(sleep deprived with few months old baby) and take bath.But should not eat until she finishes her pooja.taunted with the baby's poo/pee habits .Forget about cooking as MIL doesnt like maid cooking and many more.
OP you are a blessed soul and count your blessings.Be happy that your elder one is in safe hands and not deprived of grandma's love.Check if you have PPD. Lot of women across the world handles multiple babies beautifully and you too can do that.

 

OP, This reminds me, one of my elderly relative told me that her in laws visited her during early pregnancy...far from helping her, you know what they did..they made her to fill buckets of water from upstairs and clean the house.!! I mean not regular sweeping mopping but deep cleaning of the house because it was apparently too dirty! She was approx 3 months pregnant that time...! One more of my relative had complication during her pregnancy..there was risk of bleeding and she was adviced strict bed rest...her in laws made her do all cleaning and cooking while they roamed around for sight seeing...Didnt even make a simple cooked rice for her! These are extremes but be relieved u didn't go through all that OP..search forums here and find out how many ladies managed two kids on their own abroad without family support...take tips from the threads here.,.since u already have a kid, hope you preserved the stuff like baby gear etc bought for first kid so they can be used for second one..if u need any help in selecting the products, u can get suggestions from me and other ladies in this forum ...

 

Granted a grandmother shouldn't differentiate.
But
Forget about what she did for her daughter or your elder one. Your baby your responsibility. Whatever anybody else does to help out is a courtesy. You can't be mad about it.
And I seriously don't understand how hard can it be to find time to go to washroom or eat breakfast with a 2 month old. They sleep most of the time. Or you can just hold him in one hand or lap and eat. I have 2 and my husband lived in a different country for almost a year. I didn't starve.
Seems like in expecting from her, you have created more hindrances for yourself.