Son Arrested - SHAME ON DIL

I dont understand why she went to her parents house? What obvious reasons? Shouldn't she be helping in-laws to get bail or something like that for her DH? Or is her parents helping her with those process?

 

very true PPriya182010. She should try to support the husband and inlaws in such a diffcult situation. The one who is arrested is her husband. Instead of helping them, she left her house. Tomorrow if she happened to land in a big problem and her family and husband shun from her, then what would she talk about them?

 

If a wife is arrested, will it be okay for the husband to take the kid and go to his parents's house?
She should have sent the kid away and stayed with him.
Even if they are influential, she should have been there for moral support.

 

Looks like Internet and I have cross posted pretty much the same thing.

 

Unless there is more to the story, I dont think leaving her inlaws place when they need her the most is a done-thing. If she didnt want the 3 year old to be exposed to it, she could have very well sent the kid to her parents until things settle down.

Like I said, unless there is more to the story, it was pretty sad that she left when she should be standing by her husband.

 

I too feel she should have stayed. She could have asked her parents to take away her kid for some days, or left him/her with them and came back.

Yes, its cheap of her in-laws to stoop to family politics when such a serious crisis has befallen their family. Its rubbish actually. But, she is a wife before DIL and should have been helping her husband in this difficult times. I can understand her somewhat, but cannot support her wholeheartedly.

I saw this movie 'Oh My God' starring Paresh Rawal recently. Even in that movie, I was infuriated with the wife for chickening out with children to her brother's home when he needed support. But lot of women do that. I've seen it personally. They come to their parents place at the first opportunity. SIL came to her parents when her FIL had a serious accident. Her reason: what was I going to do there. I was becoming a burden only. (not judging anyone. because we never know how will we behave in the moment of crisis.)

I'm sure many will see it differently. Having children surely changes the priority. Mother before wife logic holds more true. She must have done the same.

 

Mimi,

I second all the above ladies. Your friend should not have left her husband at this critical time. However he is, she should stick by him and see this thing through. She could have sent only her kid to her parent's place.

Even now there should be time.. ask her to come back and help her husband morally. Financial help would be provided by her in laws as you said. Ask her to brush aside her character assassination for the time being and concentrate on the problem at hand.

 

Their view: She left when the first time our DD really needed her and she didnt just not support she fled and dropped him like piping hot aloo not willing to support him and be there in this dark time of his life...

Her view (i take a guess from what you said): He got arrested and they are picking on me as i did that, what did i do? i need to protect my child from this nightmare of his father being in jail and family giving names to mother...i need to breeth and i wish for support in this dark time of my life...

now my silly :my2cents he wasnt involved directly in the murder but got arrested? Is your friends husband involved in some bad things? This murder thing and in different businesses and all that sound a bit fishy. To get arrested for such a case needs a bit more then he was maybe a bystander... or not? :confused2:
Did the in laws bullied her before she left? or for the leaving? What could be a reason to bully her becoz he got arrested?? I have that feeling i miss something here :confused2:

Wether that she left is right or not depending on what he exactly did, how their marriage was and what is exactly going on in that house. If they had a half way good marriage or she is not planning to leave him for some bad things he did, she shud be there and support him with full heart and all passion. And that would be good for her son too as he needs to feel the family sticks together.

If the parents in law are treating her badly she should try her best to be there for him from her parents house. Maybe even parents can talk to each other as this is a bit bigger issue with being arrested.

Wish her all the best, specially for lil one