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Some funny lines

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chatkara_tasty, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS


    Smart man + smart woman = romance

    Smart man + dumb woman = affair

    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


    ********



    OFFICE ARITHMETIC


    Smart boss + smart employee = profit

    Smart boss + dumb employee = production

    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    ********

    SHOPPING MATH


    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    ********

    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    ********

    HAPPINESS


    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    ********

    LONGEVITY


    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    ********

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    ********

    DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE


    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    ********

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED


    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


    ********


    SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.



     
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  2. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Although some of them I have read earlier, stil enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.
     

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