1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

society's ideas about MIL !

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sriniketan, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,521
    Likes Received:
    1,433
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear friends,
    These are just my thoughts.
    there is a general norm in the society that if a person is in a 'particular position', 'he will be like that only'. Why can't he be different? Why people are always suspicious, if he is different? They will give comments like ' he is just acting' to get a good name. Will this not make that person to be 'normal' as projected by others and change himself at one point or other?:idontgetit:
    I can give an incident in my life itself. As I am a home-maker I can give eg. within the family.
    My MIL is a typical MIL. I don't want to blame her for that. I pity her sometimes why she is like that and why can't she be normal and enjoy life.
    In this type of scenario you cannot expect to earn a ' good name' from her. In spite of all this we tend to her every need. But she is having a different idea that DIL's will be like this only and 'how come she can be different'? She even went to the extent of telling to my husband's partner that ' all dils are like that. They will kill their mils. I came to know this comment from my husband. You know how i felt that day.:evil: But eventually I am consoled myself that you cannot change these people's ideas and getting along with her now.
    I am not projecting that all mils are bad and dils are good. We also hear stories, vice versa. I have an example to that also. where the same situation is the reverse of my side of the story where the 'victim' is my grandma.
    Why people don't want to change their ideas and enjoy life. Afterall , there is one life to live.
    Sriniketan
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2007
    Loading...

  2. mithili

    mithili New IL'ite

    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: society's ideas

    there is no point ...mils have the basic insecured problem tht arises soon aftr their son's marraige...till tht time thy wil not even be bothered to knw whether their son is eatin well or not if he is away and most of the times nowadays situations are like sons moving abroad fro earning well the name and fame and money...as the dils enter the house they start to shower more and more of concern...a bit of drama...son surrenders to mum only and to none else...meanwhiel making the situation tough fro all the three...y not release all these habits and be free.. i tooo dont understand...life's like that...but if involved with ease ..then life is even more interesting playing mind games with mil and heart games with hubby...hmm. ...am lovin' it....:-D
     
  3. Gem

    Gem New IL'ite

    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: society's ideas

    Dear Sriniketan,
    It would be easy for me to say but why not enjoy watching the dramas with a detached attitude/heart.

    When I was young and unmarried, I was worried about MILs because I had six older married sisters and I had seen them go through hell with their respective MIL. My mom had one advice for my sisters "Patience – Poruthavar Boomi Aalvar". It was helpful but not all the time. But I watched my sisters bloom into smarter and wiser ladies.


    The virtue of patience my mother extolled helped to an extent.


    I was terrified of MILs by the time I got married. But I was lucky (one in a million )– got a wonderful mother-in-law who treated me like a daughter. However, recently we have got into a silent tiff. She is so angry with me. I did nothing wrong as far as I know, it is all my husband’s doing, yet I am getting brunt of it :idontgetit: .


    Though I feel sad, I refuse to let it weigh me down and I refuse to let her make me feel guilty. I am just watching the drama and letting time mend the problem. I hope my MIL sees the clearer (whole) picture. But Father Time might take a long time. I will wait. And meanwhile I will do other things.

    Gem
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2007
  4. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sriniketan,

    We all live by some pre-conceived notions and what you wrote about are some of them. Even if we do not have these preconceived notions, time imposes them on us. No two people in this world can have similar views, likes and dislikes. The problem comes when these dis-similar views and likes and dislikes clash and people are unable to handle them.

    Getting a "good name"???? - that is impossible to get from in-laws, unless they have some angels sitting inside their brains, which happens very rarely! I think one should not even try to get that good name.....it is all transitory...one may get a good name in the morning, but by evening things would have changed. How many of us encounter situations where we do something to please others even if that is against our own beliefs. And in the end nobody is pleased with it and we feel bad.
     
  5. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,320
    Likes Received:
    7,222
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Female
    No Comments!!
    I am sick with my IL's.
     
  6. Sindhuja

    Sindhuja Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,104
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: society's ideas about MIL!

    Sri,
    I wish there is a class for some mother in laws who does not know the difference between good and evil mind. I also feel bad when we try our best to be a good DIL but they do not recognize it and on the contrary complaining about us. Hope they understand the survival technique, which would benefit them more than any others.
     
  7. piu

    piu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    MIL's r angel to hubby.....wife is evil.:icon_frown: sorry to say but I feel that in my life.This is true it is not for all.sometimes I feel commited to suicide when realize the transformation of my hubby.He was totally different before marriage.:icon_frown:
     
  8. preethi27

    preethi27 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    PIU,

    What you said is right!!!!!!!!

     
  9. amsa

    amsa New IL'ite

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    dear nivedi,
    ur right getting gud name from inlaws is not possible....regarding myself she will never accepts my gud things instead she point out small mistakes using lens....

    regar[​IMG]ds
    amsa
     

Share This Page