Social Media: A Recipe To Sweeten Relationships Or Worsen?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Naari, Sep 29, 2017.

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  1. Sep 29, 2017 #1
    Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello Friends,

    I am here to share a recent 'not so good' experience on social media which led me to re-think the utility vs disutility of using social media for staying in touch and maintaining relationships.

    Recently, a family member sent me a couple of messages on whatsapp, some forwards, some messages checking on how me & my family was. I usually don't have my whatsapp notifications on, as that disturbs you with alerts while using all other functionalities on phone. I happened to see all her messages the next day, almost 28 hours later. I also saw some messages from my mom-dad at that time. Apparently, the relative was upset that I hadn't responded to her and she called up my parents, kinda telling them and in a way like she was checking with my parents about me. That prompted my parents to send me messages asking me to respond to her to avoid misunderstandings. I responded back to her with voice message (after trying to call her) explaining to her about the notifications situation as also that I don't check whatsapp that often and also commenting on her forwards & then waiting for her to respond back to make sure she wasn't still upset. Also, I called up my parents to explain why I hadn't responded to her (though they already know my situation).

    That was a recent episode. Even before, I have had situations when I missed people's calls on whatsapp or otherwise & didn't get back until later (when I saw them) and ppl have misunderstood the situation, felt bad about it, causing me to call back to explain my circumstances, my schedules etc. Also, seen things go wrong big time on Family groups, when two ppl are talking with each other on a specific matter & others feel bad about not being in that conversation. But, why not just join in that conversation instead of waiting for a royal invitation, isn't it?

    This couple of past experiences have led me to question the advantages of social media like whatsapp, Facebook vs the disadvantages. While we can all agree, that with busy lives, distance from relatives & near and dear ones, social media like whatsapp is such a big boon since it helps everyone keep in touch, respond at your convenience & also share your day to day events / happenings/pics in your life in your own time while not having to find a mutually convenient time to talk, if we were to call them.

    But, at the same time, I have seen enough things go wrong, misunderstandings about missed calls, unanswered messages, misunderstanding in family groups about one responding to a specific person & others feeling neglected because of that, favorites etc.

    I invite you all to share your thoughts in this matter, as also share any similar experiences that you have had.

    Thanks!
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2017
    Naari, Sep 29, 2017
    Naari, Sep 29, 2017
    #1
    sindmani and venlax like this.
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  2. Sep 30, 2017 #2
    ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    :facepalm:
    Iam so happy wassup calling is an where I live !
     
    ashima10, Sep 30, 2017
    ashima10, Sep 30, 2017
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  3. Sep 30, 2017 #3
    GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

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    I would say both..

    One of my biggest annoyances with Whatsapp is the ease of sharing photos..people ask for my little one's photos and when i send them, someone in the close family circle has used it as profile picture and the other as a screensaver for their phone..i personally hate using my kids photo in social media and this is a big problem for me..

    I too dont have notifications on, as i cant stand the non-stop forwards that too when am trying to sleep here in the opposite time zone! Wish there was an archive mode for groups that i cant get out off, but dont want to be an active part of!
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2017
    GoneGirl, Sep 30, 2017
    GoneGirl, Sep 30, 2017
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  4. Sep 30, 2017 #4
    Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    I hate the forwards too. I see whatsapp as an opportunity to keep the communication on with your family & friends. When you mix actual communications with forwards, it's hard to keep track of important messages among the useless forwards. Not to mention the phone memory used up due to those 10 minute long vids or GIFs. Totally unnecessary & annoying!
     
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
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  5. Sep 30, 2017 #5
    Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Agree with this one too. I normally never send pics to anyone except parents and sibling & they all know I am not Ok with onward forwarding of my /DD's pics. Also, my FB is bare bones for outsiders with just 1 profile pic and other pics are all custom set to be viewable only by me and parents and siblings..
     
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
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  6. Sep 30, 2017 #6
    Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Children who grow up in Amereeka are also often advised not to share their photos online.....by teachers, parents, and family friends. Parents always ask their children if it is OK to send specific pictures to grannie or uncle in India, before parents can send those in emails or post on fb. I think before they are 10 they are pretty much our kids, and after that we must ask their permission.
     
    Nonya, Sep 30, 2017
    Nonya, Sep 30, 2017
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  7. Sep 30, 2017 #7
    ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    For people who liked my post ...I meant wassup calling is banned here !
    I love you all !
     
    ashima10, Sep 30, 2017
    ashima10, Sep 30, 2017
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  8. Sep 30, 2017 #8
    Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Haha I was wondering what the face palm was all about :confundio1:
     
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
    Naari, Sep 30, 2017
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  9. Oct 5, 2017 #9
    Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Disclaimer: I don't personally use social media to stay in touch with family and friends. I'm old-fashioned and pick up the phone. :blush:

    Electronic media — Facebook, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Snapchat — are just newer platforms for communication. The communicators haven't changed. Communication between humans is still subject to the same pitfalls as it has been for centuries.

    There have always been difficult relationships and difficult people. Your relative, while ostensibly concerned about your welfare, was miffed/annoyed at being ignored. She reported the perceived offense to your parents and got the desired result.

    This happens regardless of the medium of communication. Visitors pound on the doors of empty homes angry that the resident is not home to receive them. In the era before answering machines, the same people would phone every two minutes, certain there were people at the other end deliberately neglecting them. Some people, even today, will leave multiple messages on an answering service, demanding immediate responses. They'll email, then call 10 minutes later to find out why you haven't yet responded. :rage:

    Your relative and others like her have an inflated sense of their own importance. She expects you to drop everything and pay attention to her at once. When you don't comply, she uses your parents to regain control. It worked for her — she got you to reply at once and apologize, too.

    People are still the same as they always were. The only thing that's changed is the access we have to each other. We have multiple platforms on which to stalk each other and we can reach people across oceans 24/7.

    Nice people like you respond as soon as you see someone is upset. @$$h0les like me leave them cooling their heels till I'm good and ready. :smilingimp:

    TBH, not using Facebook and WhatsApp is the only reason I have any friends left. :shakehead:
    .​
     
    Amica, Oct 5, 2017
    Amica, Oct 5, 2017
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  10. Oct 5, 2017 #10
    Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    This is 100% correct .. it's the big ego coupled with inability to put themselves in the others' shoes plus some immaturity. Voila! we have a wonderful treat of confusion & torture ready for the other person :grin: I actually like your laddoos more, bring them on;)
     
    Naari, Oct 5, 2017
    Naari, Oct 5, 2017
    #10
    Amica likes this.
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