So what if a girl is dark??

ArabianDoll · Mar 19, 2008

hi friends;
I always wanted to ask about this issue to somebody...my question is,what does it matter to a guy or his parents if a girl is not fair in complexion?Iam not pointing out all the guys,atleast hand full of guys whose parents when they come for proposing(ponnu paakra thing,)has this reason for non-acceptance.
I belong to inner tanjore,where this is the case!I have a dusky complexion with sharply carved features,doing MBA(1st year),in the threshold of age 20, faces this cheap remark of, ponnu karupa iruku..(hey,iam not karupu,iam golden coloured Bow).
Though they consider other factors,this is the priority one,rest optional.They cant give anyother reason because our family enjoys good status in society,The illogical part is 60% of them who hunts for fair girls are dark too...
Do you want to know what the paatys(grandma) tell?"apply powder and go"Why should i ???iam happy with what i have! Why cant they accept me fo what iam?
What does a fair complexion above all, going to acheive after the marriage??i mean,i seriously dont know...any ladies out there..comment pls!
Iam just the representative of the many girls who sails on the same boat.
NB:Is it ok to post this here??

jaanu_2721 · Mar 19, 2008

hey dont be so depressed.. now a days no one is caring of all these.. u knw bipasha? she is darker that her sister even though she is appreciated of her beauty. and beauty doesnt lie in complexion. its our behaviour, intelligence. study well concentrate on ur studies. get good marks and achieve a good position in society ,then all those people who pointed u b4 will realize and will be proud to have a gr8 child like u.. dont worry my dear cheer up.. :cheers

srinivasan_vanaja · Mar 19, 2008

hi,

yes, you have posted in the correct forum.

even the queen cleopatra was dark in complexion. but she was known for her profound beauty. only in our India we give importance to the complexion when it comes to marriage.

but one should not comment openly about anybody' s complexion and contour. i consider it as a bad manner.

aishu22 · Mar 19, 2008

Dear AD,
First of all....cheer up.Theres nothing wrong in being on wheatish or brown.Thats the colour of Indian soil..i mean we indians are bound to be in that color.Its god's beautiful creation dear...dunt think im rambling..I'm also wheatish(i optimistically call my color that way).
And, dunt mind the so called "civilized(?)" people call u dark or wat so ever...i give a :bullshitfor complexion.You will get a man whose destined to tie the knot with you AD....so carry on..be cheerful...Good Luck to you!

Nivedi · Mar 19, 2008

Hi Arabiandoll,

Men who reject girls on the basis of their skin color are shallow minded people. As long as you do not get married to such men, celebrate that you are a lucky girl. While people talk of racism in Europe and America, I think Indians are also racist when they discriminate people on the basis of color. Some of the most beautiful people in this world are dark skinned.

Shanvy · Mar 19, 2008

ARabian doll,

As others say cheer up. forget the people who don't see the beauty inside which is more important.

btw there was a discussion on the same lines here. Check it up.

Nandshyam · Mar 19, 2008

hey AD,

I understand your frustrations. Yes, in our country, they think so much about their color that you have all that fairness creams.. Unfortunately, its how our mindset is set all these years. Even here in NJ, I have seen moms frightening their kids to eat properly or will become dark skinned, as if being dark is a big NONO. Poor stupid ladies, they dont give come out of their shell even after coming outside India.. What to do. Believe me I have seen many people getting paid back by fate for all the nonsense they do and hurt others in the same life.

Don't sweat about all these. Just keep saying to your mind, these are shallow minded people and thank God I am not going to be stuck with these idiots for the rest of my life.

There is a man destined for you who would love you for what you are and not for these cheap physical stuff which will erase as you age. May be its just not the right time for you to meet him yet appadi nenaichukoo. There should be this mental connection that a person should see in you rather than the physical attraction.

Never get inferior thinking about your color. You are not to be belittled by these stupid remarks..RantRant

Oviya · Mar 19, 2008

Dear Arabiandoll,

Its neither the same as in olden days nor it is totally gone.

But, whatever is the matter with regard to women, there is a long way to go.

At least , people shouldn't hurt their feelings.

pushkala · Mar 19, 2008

Oviya...

I belive i person can hurt u only if u let him/her hurt u...
Just dnt take it heart...! we must draw an iron curtain when such things arise...! just dnt even bother to such comments.. !
and be happy that these are Misses that deserve to be missed...JUST DONT LET THESE THINGS EVEN BOTHER U

Devika Menon · Mar 19, 2008

Hey Arabian Doll,

I agree there is this mad fixation with most Indians about fair skin. Though I honestly feel that its high time we came out of it.
But the hard fact is that it seems to be here for some more time ,so you need to see the brighter side of it.
The winners of the Miss. India contests over the past few years has been girls with a tanned or dark skin, like Sushmita Sen,Lara Dutta, Diana Hayden (who went on to win the Miss. World and the Miss. Universe titles ) and the very recent Sarah . The people of the west are absolutely floored by our Indian skin. The recent spate of marriages of West taking a bride from India (mostly girls with a tanned complexion) has proved it further.
Dont let these mindless people bog your confidence down . Please have faith in what God has gifted you. External appearances can be made pleasant not by whitening creams and bleaches but with a golden heart. Be happy ,it will make you more radiant than any fair skinned girl.

All the very best to you in Life . I am sure you will definitely find someone who loves you for who you are and not what you look like , and that will make the relation last a lifetime!!

Regards,
Devika