Smitten by jealousy out of possessiveness

srinivasan_vanaja · Mar 11, 2010

Those familiar with Shakespear's tragedy stories may recall how Othello, smitten by jealousy, murdered his wife Desdemona whom he suspected having an illicit affair.
Such similar nature in general is being called "othello syndrome" now. Excessive jealousy of this type can lead to homicide and that is what exactly happening at recent times.

I used to love reading newspaper earlier. But now I am really afraid of opening it. My God, I could see many being victim of this Othello syndrome. Weren't man and woman born free? Do they not have their own choices of people they interact with be it a man or woman?

Relationship of love is based on mutual trust and understanding. When I ask you for antonym of "Love", you would immediately say it is "Hate". But it is going to be "Possessive" in near future. Only this feeling carries lot of negative emotions. Which in turn brings a total insecurity to both lovers.

We can be possessive of things like cellphone, diary, clothes etc. But being possessive about relationship is of no use.

The most interesting part is this nature is very common in animals too.

This is our area do not step in - growl viciously a group of dogs.

Have you ever come across this kind of possessive relationships and its outcome? I am sure mostly it would be disastrous. But still would need a sharing of thoughts and incidents which would help most of our ilites to identify possessive nature of their own and others.

SriVidya75 · Mar 11, 2010

SV madam

I guess we all have these possessive feelings towards a living / non living thing..and usually it leads to disastrous behaviour as the more we try to own it or protect it the more we feel we are not able to do it or we cant control it...thats what leads to the homicide I guess...either we physically hurt a person or their feelings....possessiveness has never done good to any one...

Good thought madam and thanks for reminding us on this ailment!!!

Shanvy · Mar 12, 2010

Vanaja,

welcome to the blogging section. interacting with you after a long time.

Possessiveness is more like a noose that tightens around the neck of the person about whom you are so possessive.

I know people who suffer because of this. I believe, in giving the space and not tightening a noose.

I always remember this incident that happened in a birthday party. there was this lady who started commenting and scolding another guy and it turned awkward for me, (host) the reason, the guy did not have the commonsense to leave the chair next to her husband for her to sit. later, we came to know, that she makes the husband's life miserable and he enjoys to the hilt when she goes to her mom's place.:spin

mithila kannan · Mar 12, 2010

My dear Vanaja,
Oh,yes.I agree with you that the opposite of love could only be posessiveness.
Posessive feeling mars good relationships among people be it in families or offices,which are meant to thrive.A good example should be a MIL and her DIL.A mother sees hundred girls to select a suitable bride for her son.But when she sees her son doting on his wife she just cannot bear it.She is very posessive about her son and can'i bear to see another woman vying for it.A girl gets married and she can not bear to see her MIL or her sisters in law being close to her husband.

Parents should bring up their children instilling in them confidence in themselves and being large hearted.
I faced such situations in my life,so when my daughter got married I told her,"Your DH is the eldest in the family and he has a younger sister.He will buy nice things for her,he will be affectionate to her.Learn to enjoy that.Be a bridge between your husband and his mother and siblings."
love
mithila

Ridha · Mar 28, 2010

gud.nicely written.........possessiveness is there in any relation .but when it cross the limit.disastrous things happen............thnx for putting such an idea to think abt......
keep it up
regards
ridha