<INS>The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."</INS>
<INS>One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you" <INS> Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" To which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... You see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head !!!"</INS> </INS>
<INS>-active baby </INS> <INS>When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still. "Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary. "A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"</INS>
I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards. -- I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. -- I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me. -- So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored and kept pestering my Dad to go and play. Eventually he agreed, took me over to the lion enclosure, threw me in and said: "There ya go, play dead..." The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown. A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?" "No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!" I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. ) I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb. I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. - There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Feel better nowMary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."
A love letter from a HR manager to his girlfriend Sub: Offer of love! Dearest Ms Juliet, I am very happy to inform you that, I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer. Wish you all the best! Thanking you in anticipation, Yours sincerely, Romeo – HR Manager
1) BRAIN TUMOR: Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor. Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy) Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you? Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb? Doctor: Then why are you so happy? Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE: Friend: What are you looking at? Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
Hi DMN happy to read your feedback ---that kerchif joke I read in school ---at that time I too laughed a lot --so happy to see you here:bowdown
