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Small issue but need your help..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by klniha, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    My husband's brother is visiting us for 2-3 days. On the day of his arrival, my husband will not be home as he has some other commitment (he thought it was some other day and told BIL to come but there was some confusion and finally its on the day of BILs arrival). We currently are in US and I work full time. We have a pre-schooler. Now my husband wants me to pick up BIL from airport. I did drive to the airport before and I am ok with driving but its the first time with my kiddo alone for that long in backseat. I also am working that day and don't know at what time he is coming. I also need to prepare dinner but my husband says we can get something from outside that day. I usually want to prepare food for my guests and feel it wudnt look good to get food from outside when he is visiting us for first time. I am hesitant to tell my husband that I may not pick him up because he may take it wrong and he wants me to pick his bro up. I am unsure how to manage. Do you think it would be rude if I asked I told DH to tell BIL to catch a cab here? The airport is 30mins away (1 way). Also I am afraid of how the weather would be on that day. Pls suggest, I am not 100% willing to travel to pick up BIL that day.
     
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  2. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    The cab fare is going to be high. My vote is that you pick him up and take him out to eat. I know it may be problematic with your child.....do you have a friend who can pick up your child and babysit until you get back from the airport?
     
  3. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    @tashi Hmm... Unfortunately no. I need to take my kiddo with me too
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell your husband you are not confident of driving with kid .You would rather stay at home to cook for him as you feel that is more important to you. Tell husband to convey to BIL that since he is not there and you are not confident about driving with a kid...he should take a cab.You can make up for it by making something nice to eat. You can also tell BIL"I wish I could pick you up but I am just not confident enough right now."
     
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  5. stilldeshi

    stilldeshi Senior IL'ite

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    If you are not confident to drive in rough weather and that too with your child inthe car, then please don't take a risk. I can imagine how much stressful it can be and kids can sense that. Please don't put that child under pressure and you can follow the advise given by yellowmango
     
  6. vaas

    vaas Bronze IL'ite

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    just tell your husband that ur not confident of driving with child. and also bring weather into the topic. i think he would understand that.
     
  7. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    Some of my relatives (PILs, mother, my 80-year-old great aunt) have cabbed it to and from the airport/my house and survived. It is not always possible for us to provide a ride. I do all the arrangements and pay for the cab if necessary.

    If your BIL is mentally and physically able to do this, then there is no crime in letting him do it. However, some people seem to think it is a mortal sin if there is no welcoming party at the airport. If your husband and your BIL fall into this category, then perhaps you need to put your own needs/preferences aside and do as the family does.

    If I think about it, though, if it is something that their family strongly believes in, maybe they both should have made better, more efficient arrangements so your husband could have made sure HE was available that day.

    I personally refuse to pick up the slack when other people are late/disorganized/confused. I think your wants and needs are important.. does your husband extend this same courtesy to you?
     
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  8. Marun

    Marun Platinum IL'ite

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    Why dont you take a day off and cook! It will be comfortable in all ways. You can cook and pick up your BIL.

    Whats there to be afraid of driving with kid in back seat? When are you planning to learn. You can do it! Its high time.
     
  9. Sai3A21

    Sai3A21 Platinum IL'ite

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    If you are not confident enough, just take a cab to airport and pick up ur BIL. This way you need not risk leaving your preschooler alone in the backseat while you drive and at the same time make your husband happy by picking up his bro. :thumbsup
     
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  10. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone!

    My husband belongs to that category - someone should be at the airport to pick up his bro. Now my son usually does ok with someone in the backseat but I am not sure if he will be ok with no one back with him and I am driving. I somehow cant get myself to tell my DH I can't pick up BIL.

    I think unless its really bad weather and he is coming before 7pm, I will have to go pick him up :(
     

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