Sleeping Apart Since Having A Baby

Rihana · Sep 2, 2017

Deborah said: ↑

... she says that her husband gets upset when she goes to sleep with her son as he wants her in the same bed.
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Between a husband who "gets upset when she goes to sleep with her toddler as he wants her in the same bed" and a husband "who does not miss her at all", the latter is the better of the two necessary nuisance/ worry/ non-problem to have. : ) Take it from me. I've been married 5 times as long as you've been. : ) And been through all possible family sleeping combinations possible.

My short advice: sleep is precious. It deserves a separate layer in Maslow's hierarchy. : )

Deborah · Sep 2, 2017

@Rihanna - You might not know but this is so comforting to hear.Thank for writing this.

happydheivanai · Sep 2, 2017

Deborah said: ↑

Hi Ladies!
Posting this here as I couldn't find any other suitable subforum. If there is one, kindly point it out and I will move it.

So, we shifted from a one bedroom flat to a house when my little one was around 8 months ( she is 16 months old now) . We tried sleeping together in one bed ( all 3 of us) but it didn't work out . Lets just say that H is not a silent sleeper and kept waking the baby up. So I moved to another room with the baby (she used to nurse to sleep and I found this comfortable for myself too). But along the way ( sometime around when she was 1 ) , I have started missing sharing the bed with my H and want to get back.Now here is my problem- my H doesn't miss me that much. ( No, he isn't cheating). He used to seek me out initially but not so much presently.This really bothers me. I have asked him directly whether he misses my presence ( not referring to sex all the time) in the bedroom or not. He says he does miss it but he has adapted himself since the baby doesn't sleep without me.So, he has stopped asking or let's just say, he is fine by himself.
My ques is - isn't this not normal ? Don't the husbands usually want the intimacy and sleeping together back more than the wives ? Are they not the ones asking the wife to join back in the master bed? This thing is really bothering me.Marriage is fine in all other aspects ( with the usual squabbles and also hugs and kisses).
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It is normal don't worry.but y u r losing ur intimacy..just change the bed size or come to ur husband room for some time to make some play or intimacy automatically The things willworkout .but don't continue ur style (sleeping seperate)because it's not good ...

GoneGirl · Sep 3, 2017

Hi @Deborah,

Have you tried a white noise machine, ( i prefer a fan) in your bedroom, so your kid doesn't wake up with other noises..

As long as you feel warm and connected in other ways to your husband, this is not such a big issue.. also some dads (unlike most moms i know) feel the need to sleep alone and not be disturbed at night if they have a rigorous work schedule, dont know about your husband's.. maybe that is a reason?