Sleep Baby Sleep

Kamalji · Mar 19, 2010

Sleep Baby Sleep

Arrived in Mumbai yesterday,having a great time , what with mom feeding me prawns, Hilsa, poplets, and brothers taking me out, giving me a lovely treat in the Club, I wanted to be away from blogs for a while.Till today’s morning papers informed me that Today is
“Sleep Day “. I swear this is a new one to me, heard all other days, but Sleep Day !!!!So dear friends, that forced me to come over for a silly blog based on Sleep.

For me , Sleep is sleep, period.My routine is two drinks, some nice nonveg, and around 10/30 pm,. Off to sleep. There is a saying, that bedroom is meant for sleep, so I just go and plonk myself, and Harsha tells me , that within a minute I am off to sleep, with a snore.

I swear I have never seen myself asleep, nor snoring.Since Tuffy sleeps with us, of course on the floor, and that rascal snores, so his blame comes on me.And the day I brush and come to sleep, Harsha will poke me, and say, u are smelling of ciggies and alcholol, so I have stopped brushing( at night that is ).Next birth, Harsha or no Harsha, I will have a triple bed, instead of a double, two for me , and one for her.As they say,, give breathing space to yr partner !

People underestimate sleep.What is a natural resting time, gives sleepless nights to many.I guess more money is spent on sleeping tablets, than on other medicines for the heart, cancer and other diseases.But no one has done any research on this.

As it is rightly said, money can buy u a nice bed, nice foam, soft pillow, a nice cool AC, but it cant buy u sleep. I see these cycle rickshaw fellows, sleeping on their Rik, under the shade of a tree, in 40 plus temperatures, and sleeping peacefully.How they manage that ?And I see so many cousins taking a sleeping pill before they retire.

And they say , have a glass of warm milk before u sleep, for it induces sleep.Well, Well.
For me it is my two pegs, and then I go wash my feet with cold water, be it winter or summer, and sleep with wet feet on the bed, still dripping with water, and that gives me great sleep.And I don’t talk to Harsha, and stay away in my corner of the bed, and soon I am dreaming of the nubile starlets, or a dance with Deepika Padukone,, she and me swaying , till Tuffy wakes me up with a start, with a nice lick, everyday, I lose a starlet due to Tuffy, just when the most romantic scene starts, and this fellow does all this.Sad !

A few years back, one enterprising guy opened in New York, a place where people can have power naps, for 15 mins, and charged a king’s ransom for it. But pay money to get sleep? I can sleep anywhere , any time. Sita took me shopping,we went to a mall, and she took a few tops, and went to change, and there was a nnice sofa, God bless the owners, where I plonked myself, and soon fell asleep.Everyttime she wanted to show me a top , how it looked on her, she had to wake me up, and she said, papa , this is disgraceful, u are snoring during daytime. Well I got so bored, what could I have done ?Ladies take their own time to try out things, and I don’t have the patience to stay awake.

But I must thank the lord for the power of sleep he has bestowed on me.A very close friend of mine,w as hospitalized, I talk of 20 yrs back, in a Govt hospital, and I had to stay with him during the night. The ward was crowded, and I saw urine bottles and other such stuff under the bed of the patients, smelly as bad as it can get.But I just ppput a bedsheet on the floor, a pillow , and I was sleeping soundly thru the night, in that atmosphere.

When we were new to Jaipur, the mosquitoes never let us sleep.We used to apply Odomos on the body, but the mosquitoes used to buzz around the years, and I used to do a Micheal Jackson for the first month, till I shifted over to Whiskey from Beer, and the attacks stopped.For one bite, and they must have fallen intoxicated. Soon I got sleep, But harsha suffered, and I told her the secret to have a swig, she refused, and continues to suffer.I do find dead mosquitoes on m y arms and here and there. I must get this idea patented, and put these coil and odomos fellows out of business, and let liquor business prosper!!!

And any of u seen any cards for this Sleep Day at Archies or anywhere ? I am curious to know if they exist and what is written on them.

And u readers, don’t give me the excuse, that we gave less comments, bcs today was sleeping day, and reading yr blog made us sleepy.I swear if I don’t get good response, I will send u nightmares, for men, Mayawati will come to yr dreams, and for the ladies, ND Tiwari.

KAMAL MAHTANI

Old Lady goes to the Doc:
Ihave this problem with Gas.Bit it dosnt really bother me too much.
My farts never smell, and are silent.
As a matter of fact , I have farted at least 20 times since I have been here in your office.

You did not know I was farting bcs they don’t smell and are silent.

The Doctor says : I see.Take these pills and see me sometime next week.

The next week the lady comes back and says :
I don’t know what the hell u gave me, but now my farts, though silent, stink a lot.

Doc : Well now that we have cured <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">ur</st1lace></st1:City> nose, now let me cure yr hearing !!!

Man conducting marketing survey asks a lady

Which book has helped u the most in yr life ?
Woman “- My Husband’s chequebook !

knot2share · Mar 19, 2010

Kamalji

Good to hear that you are having a great time in Bombay. You have surely proved that blogs do chase you all the time. I have not heard of Sleep Day......quite new to me. But I am like you too that I can fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime. This is possibly the only good trait I have inherited from my dad's side. It is a blessing really to have this quality especially when you see many popping pills to fall asleep. God has been kind that way. I certainly was expecting something else from your desk when I saw the papers here a couple of days ago. Strangely enough you have managed to hint a bit on that subject but nothing substantial. I shall wait and see if it does come out or not.

Your branded jokes are :thumbsup. How sad Tuffy wakes you up just at that right time. Mosquitoes found dead on your arm?? Too much alcohol content in their body after sucking blood from you that has had a couple of pegs of Whisky injested..hehe. You remind me of one of my uncles. During one of the drinking sessions when all family members were at home, he proudly declared that he can put any kid to sleep. We all know that everytime he said that, the kid ended up leaving the room with uncle falling asleep. So when we asked him how he would manage that, he said all he had to do was blow on the face of the kid, because the child would inhale the spirit and fall asleep...ha..ha! ( Please take it in a light sense. I don't want anybody misunderstanding and saying this is child abuse ).

monifa13 · Mar 19, 2010

OMG! Pranaam Kamalji - I don't want N D Tiwari even in my wildest dreams. How can you be so unkind to your women followers to threaten us like this!
I can't believe you get into bed with wet feet. I have never heard of anyone doing it. When we were children, every night before going to bed we were taught to brush and wash our feet but we used to dry our feet before going to bed.
Why do you want to wait till your next birth? You better make a triple bed in this birth itself and enjoy it. Who knows? Probably in your next birth you will be born as Harshaji and vice versa... I get a great thrill imagining you as a woman in your next birth and how your posts in IL will be :rotfl
Have a great time in Coimbatore, enjoy the company of Cheeniya Sir and enjoy our fantastic South Indian cuisine. (Sorry, No non-veg for you unless you make some special arrangements!)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

natpudan · Mar 19, 2010

Kamalji,

Don't worry, I shall never excuse myself from here blaming the sleep day.

It's the other friends who should worry about whether to court Tiwari or Mayawati.

Though I would prefer to court Mayawati's Maala, rather than her.

You don't need a triple bed, send Harshaji to a driving class & they will teach the importance of maintaining safe distance to avoid mishaps.

Kamalji one thing you forgot to realise, the love Harshaji has for you. She is keeping herself awake to make sure you sleep peacefully. It's not the effect of liquor on mosquitoes, but Harshaji must be swatting them so that you sleep well. Or could be that during the day she can't hit you for all the pain you cause, she uses the opportunity in the night. :biglaugh

Sleep to me is a distant cousin right from school days. So I don't bother and lose further sleep. I don't take any tablets as well. Earlier I used to keep watching tv, but now on IL.

Enjoy the trip. Eagerly waiting to read your humoros blogs after the visit to down south.

amihere · Mar 19, 2010

Kamalji,
Wow a day for sleep? I never knew it. I think we have to celebrate this day too as we do the Valentine's, Mother's Father's etc. May be all of us who love to sleep can file a petition to declare it as a national holiday and to make it mandatory that everyone should be sleeping well on the Sleep Day. Now a days when ever I get some free time I like to sleep. I wake up in the mornings and drags myself out from the bed and what I see??? my DH sleeping cozily curling nicely in a blanket. The height of jealousy I feel that time......... Its weekend and I am going to sleep to my heart's content tonight. No wonder people love weekends. Telling about sleep there is something that happened.

It was my training period in company and we used to study very hard to get through the training. So whenever I got a chance to sleep I will be sleeping like a dead log. One day I came to my room(its a twin sharing one) took a shower and curled in to my cosy bed under the warmth of the blanket with a/c on. I wanted to sleep till I get tired of it and so turned my cell to silent mode and took the receiver off the phone. I was sleeping peacefullly dreaming all the dreams in the world when I was shaken awake by a loud thud at my door. I opened it to see my roomie in tears and I was so angry thinking why couldnt she open it with her key instead of banging on the door.(Come on you have to give roomie your own space and no one should bang on the doors when they have thier own keys to room).I asked her angrily "Why cant you open it with your key?" and dozed off.I slept till dinner and only then I knew what had happened.

My roomie had her exams the next day and she came to room to change her lens and to collect her books. But for her surprise she found the room bolted from inside(I swear I dont remember at all bolting the door other than locking it with key). She rang the bell. No response!!! She rang again......again and again..No Response. She banged on the door with max force again and again.....No response. Called to my cell and land phone...........again No response. She called my friends and they didnt know where I was. She met another friend of mine and he said I have gone to room to sleep.Now she was tensed, coz a normal sleeping human being will respond by this time and they were like OMG what did she do bolting the door.(Already 2 suicides were reported in the campus due to high pressure of training)So she went to the security of the building and he advised her to complain to the HR so that they can break the door open. But he asked her to try once more and he came along with her and both of them banged on the door with the full force and that woke me up. And those tears which I saw in her eyes were the tears for me wondering what have I done there.

Oops my post has become so long:bonk,your blog reminded me of this.

parusabari · Mar 19, 2010

Hello Kamal ji,

Hashin ke faware chut rahe hai reading all your naughty pranks. The scene of you landing in bollywood only to be disturbed by Tuffy is worth mentioning.Also not to forget the line abt giving breathing space to your loving partner.

For me sleep is just a means of relaxation lekin abhi tho khwab mein bhi bache aa jaate hai . hahaha. The last peaceful sleep now i remember is when i was given sedatives just before my first kid was born. What a sweet sleep that was.I cannot sleep for more than 6 hrs in a day and can happily manage without any hangover even if it is less than 4hrs.

Long back i had got hold of a poem on sleep so thought of sharing now.

Sleep my little one

Sleep, sleep, my little one!
Sleep while you can

Sleep to forget
Refuse the moment of regret

Sleep to dream beyond wonder
Forget your moment of blunder

Tomorrow is another day
You can again try a different way

Sleep, sleep, my little one!
Sleep while you can

Sleep to remember
The time you have spent from January to December

Sleep lightly or deep
Sleep quietly or weep
Sleep with a smile
And maybe after a while
You can keep
The treasures that you reap

Sleep, your body must recuperate
Then with full capacity you can once again operate

Sleep, sleep, my little one
Remember even the best
Must take a daily rest!

By Sylvia Chidi

And yes i have seen cards with sleep topics but not wishing anyone happy sleep day hahaha.

Sleep cards which i have seen had wording like wishing some workaholic a relaxed weekend and also cards with the words "you are invited to sleep with me".

But I really like to watch my 2 angels sleep .........i dont like to disturb them at all, be it any time of day i will not at all disturb them.........bcos later in life with day to day stress this sweet sleep is what they will be longing for.

Love,
Parvathi.

Tubelight · Mar 19, 2010

Ayyo Kamalji ! Please dont send Tiwari into my dreams ! See, like a good girl, I dint fall asleep on Sleep Day but dutifully read your beautiful thesis on Sleep ! You are really a lucky person to be able to sleep anywhere and any how. It shows you have a good heart , a clear conscience and an uncluttered mind. God bless you !

So Tuffy plays the kabab mein haddi villain in your Bollywood dreams with nubile stars ! Tut Tut ! Dost dost naa raha !

Just a week ago, i read a an article about how sleep deprivation affects the economy because people are not able to give their best when they don't get their daily quota of good sleep.
In one of the TV channels they had a reality show where contestants had to go without sleep for 3 or 4 days and then do some risky stunts.I thought it was a dangerous programme, those young contestants could even end up brain damaged ! Why do they allow such things !

LOL ! So whiskey killed the Michel Jackson in you ! How sad !

Enjoyed reading !:thumbsup ( not the jokes.)

Mindian · Mar 19, 2010

I am one of those less fortunate ones kamalji, cant sleep unless it is MY room, dark and cosy ,right temperature etc etc, whereas hubby is just like you ...anywhere anytime he can snore .there are times he goes to sleep holding a book very steadily with both his hands and I lol. His theory is if the mind is light and heart is good one can get good sleep .so now you know what that makes me.!

Sleep day is sure something new to me..hahaha enjoyed tuffys villainous ways of interrupting your sweet dreams. Anyway now you have given the remedy for insomnia.If nothing else works I might resort to that one peg you know, isn’t it better than popping pills? And it keeps the mosquitoes away too hahahh

So before the cbe wedding getting all spoilt by mamma in Mumbai? ! You boys are sure to have a good time. Be sure to tell us all about it.Enjoy yourselves.

gjaya · Mar 19, 2010

Aah Kamalji, my favorite topic...sleeping! and N.D. Tiwari.....ewwwww...nahinnnnn!!

I never knew there was something called "Sleep Day". Wow I would so love that day.....me and my bed would so get to know each other more on that day probably. :rotflGive me any time of the day and I would love to do just that...sleep and be lost in my wonderful or crazy, whatever you name it.....dreams. Sleeping is probably very underestimated need for many people I think. I would so rate it at the top. :biggrin2:

And yeah I hate to be interrupted in my sleep too when I am in midst of enjoying the company of oh so handsome and sexy John Abraham or Johny Depp.

Was hilarious to read about trip to Mall with Sita....I could so visualize you dozing off on the couch.

You are too good Kamalji, bahut maza aaya padh kar... shabd nahin hain mere paas.

Aap Mahan ho, aap pujya ho, aap antaryami ho...balki aap purush hi nahin ....mahapurush ho mahapurush. (dialogue from Andaaz Apna Apna):biglaugh

Sleep tight, Kamalji!

Jaya

Vysan · Mar 19, 2010

Dear Kamalji,

Sleeping day!!!! ... hearing it for the first time... Anyways...

All those who can sleep anytime and anywhere were gifted ones... I had this great virtue before marriage.... I can sleep anytime and any place... Enjoyed those days.... hahahahahaha... Now, slowly it is becoming difficult... Hope you know the reason... :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh...

Enjoyed your typical jokes...

Veda